Reflections of the last year
Wow a year already ????The time has gone so quickly and I shared some thoughts at the post-op meeting ast Barix on Wednesday night and as much as I swore I would not cry I lasted all of two words before the tears came.
Looking back over the last twelve months it has been one wild ride to say the least. One that was filled with Wow moments and some quiet personal reflection moments. I started this journey with my highest weight on record being 340 pounds which seeing that number on the scale at my doctors office made me feel ashamed that I allowed myself get to be that heavy. No change that let myself get that FAT!!!! Food was friend it bought me happiness when I was feeling down, comfort when I was feeling sad, made a party a better time or so I thought it seems my friend food was just a toxic friend that made me live to eat instead of eating to live. The beginning of this journey started out pretty easy I sailed through all the pre surgery testing and ran into no complications prior to surgery. No C-Pap for this Cowgirl! At the Pre-Op meetings I had met some fellow upcoming surgery patients along with veterans of the surgery little did I know at those early meetings that these women not only would be able to share the journey with me at future meetings but they would be some of my closets friends in the next year. Which is ironic because at first I struggled to find a connection to anyone on the OH website and at the early support meetings this was just not for me. Boy was I fooled by what would happen the next few months along this journey because there was one person I met the very first night I walked into my very first support group meeting that in time will have changed my life in ways I never would have guessed. The day the call came in from Eileen in scheduling I was so happy I picked the surgery date of April 17th I could have had my surgery sooner but I knew being the little Colombo that I am my family had a 40th birthday party planned for me so didn’t want to mess that up for them. So I partied with my family and told them all about my upcoming surgery. I was ready to go and start my own new life. But as I was walking out the door to head to Barix that morning I got a call from them saying my surgery was postponed BUT not to eat till I heard back from them. I called my surgery Angel who was Linda Slavin she got me through the tears along with my Aunt Mary. I got the call back I was scheduled for Friday April 18th at had to be there at 9:30 am. So lather rinse repeat and start all over for the 18th looking back I think it was destiny to have surgery on the 18th that date will become very special for so many reasons in the months to come after surgery. The morning of the 18th as I waited in the lobby of Barix with my Aunt Mary Dr. Pupkova came in between surgeries to give me a hug and apologize for the day before she even gave my aunt a hug and said it would not be long. Around 1:00pm it was finally time to make my way back to the OR this was it do I run out the door and have lunch at Cheeseburger in Paradise or change my life for the better. Well by now we all know I stayed and I had my fair share of cheeseburgers in the past. I woke up a few hours later with my Aunt and girlfriend waiting for me. Then in a little bit Linda and Susan came to visit me I still out of it from surgery but I know they were there. The next day Katie who had surgery on the 17th came to visit along with Gail who else had surgery on the 17th. I came home things went well within a week I had gone out dancing with friends and even went to family birthday party where they all ate pizza I had the pleasure of sf pudding and protein shake.Pizza is overrated anyway. It was all worth it and life was going great I had never felt better in my life to the point where I was a little scared that things were going so good it was like I was waiting for the other shoe to drop and soon it would but I dealt in a much better light after the shock hit me I picked up those big girl shoes and put them on. I opted to deal with this bump in the road alone and not involve many people just a few that lent a shoulder to lean on during that time Thank you those that lent that shoulder. Seems they found cervical cancer cells on cerfvix during my regular Pap test so here I was never feeling healthier and now this was thrown at me. I scheduled my procedure dealt with it and moved forward. As of today everything is clear but I can tell you that I was never so scared in my life as going through that whole ordeal and I get reminded every three months when I have to go for a check up. So women please go for your OB Gym check ups I always went yearly and this came up that fast. The next few months I learned to love myself even more as the weight came off my confidence soared and for every pound I lost in this journey I made ten times that in friendships. There are many people that I have formed friendships with but there is a group of nine women that I bounded with which are now called the Mean Girls (thank you Lesley for naming us)these women are so important in my world and my bonds with each of them have changed every month to form a tighter bond and the levels of friendship vary but we always there for each other. To me this form of friendship later in life is a rare gift and I thank God for them every night as I lay down to sleep. Thank you Linda, Susan,Kimmie, Kim Burke, Stefanie, Karen, Dolores,Tammy and Lesley. Then as the months past we enter December the holiday time what a time of year to be grateful for so many things along the journey we had many gatherings and it didn’t revolve around food but enjoying each others company. During the past months I started having the Mean Girls over about once a month for mini support group meetings and then I decided to have a Christmas party for family and friends. My Aunt told me that she was so happy because my house was suddenly a home and alive again and she had missed it being that way the last decade. Now if she would only know how alive it would become the last four months. That night the very first person I had every met as I walked through the doors of a Barix Pre- Op Support group meeting became the love of my life. Yes,Dennis is the love of my life and if I had never walked through the door of Barix who knows where I would be in life today. I have a healthier life style, I can run up and down the steps with a load of laundry(ok with shopping bags), as a DJ I can go out and dance more then half of a song on the dance floor with out wanting to cry because my knees hurt so bad. I have divorced Lane Bryant and now took up residence at New York and Company. I became a support group leader in October here it was less then a year ago that I felt I could not fit in or make any connections. Silly girl I was back then not giving myself so much credit. It was through the support of Shauna and Dennis that I really embraced the support group leader title….. I am about 27 pounds away from my goal meaning I have lost around 135 pounds from my highest weight and in time I will get there I am not in a race with anyone. I just take one day at time and each day is a new day to embrace life. Even the days I fight with those cute little M&Ms and some days yes they win but they are not going to be the end of the world. The goal will get here and I will set a new one for myself because this is all about successing not success. So thank you all that have supported me the last year from the one who lead me to Barix to my family,friends and new friends….to those that will let me support them in the future…… This is one wild ride and can not wait to see what the next year brings….. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you believe in your Dreams they will come true!
Looking back over the last twelve months it has been one wild ride to say the least. One that was filled with Wow moments and some quiet personal reflection moments. I started this journey with my highest weight on record being 340 pounds which seeing that number on the scale at my doctors office made me feel ashamed that I allowed myself get to be that heavy. No change that let myself get that FAT!!!! Food was friend it bought me happiness when I was feeling down, comfort when I was feeling sad, made a party a better time or so I thought it seems my friend food was just a toxic friend that made me live to eat instead of eating to live. The beginning of this journey started out pretty easy I sailed through all the pre surgery testing and ran into no complications prior to surgery. No C-Pap for this Cowgirl! At the Pre-Op meetings I had met some fellow upcoming surgery patients along with veterans of the surgery little did I know at those early meetings that these women not only would be able to share the journey with me at future meetings but they would be some of my closets friends in the next year. Which is ironic because at first I struggled to find a connection to anyone on the OH website and at the early support meetings this was just not for me. Boy was I fooled by what would happen the next few months along this journey because there was one person I met the very first night I walked into my very first support group meeting that in time will have changed my life in ways I never would have guessed. The day the call came in from Eileen in scheduling I was so happy I picked the surgery date of April 17th I could have had my surgery sooner but I knew being the little Colombo that I am my family had a 40th birthday party planned for me so didn’t want to mess that up for them. So I partied with my family and told them all about my upcoming surgery. I was ready to go and start my own new life. But as I was walking out the door to head to Barix that morning I got a call from them saying my surgery was postponed BUT not to eat till I heard back from them. I called my surgery Angel who was Linda Slavin she got me through the tears along with my Aunt Mary. I got the call back I was scheduled for Friday April 18th at had to be there at 9:30 am. So lather rinse repeat and start all over for the 18th looking back I think it was destiny to have surgery on the 18th that date will become very special for so many reasons in the months to come after surgery. The morning of the 18th as I waited in the lobby of Barix with my Aunt Mary Dr. Pupkova came in between surgeries to give me a hug and apologize for the day before she even gave my aunt a hug and said it would not be long. Around 1:00pm it was finally time to make my way back to the OR this was it do I run out the door and have lunch at Cheeseburger in Paradise or change my life for the better. Well by now we all know I stayed and I had my fair share of cheeseburgers in the past. I woke up a few hours later with my Aunt and girlfriend waiting for me. Then in a little bit Linda and Susan came to visit me I still out of it from surgery but I know they were there. The next day Katie who had surgery on the 17th came to visit along with Gail who else had surgery on the 17th. I came home things went well within a week I had gone out dancing with friends and even went to family birthday party where they all ate pizza I had the pleasure of sf pudding and protein shake.Pizza is overrated anyway. It was all worth it and life was going great I had never felt better in my life to the point where I was a little scared that things were going so good it was like I was waiting for the other shoe to drop and soon it would but I dealt in a much better light after the shock hit me I picked up those big girl shoes and put them on. I opted to deal with this bump in the road alone and not involve many people just a few that lent a shoulder to lean on during that time Thank you those that lent that shoulder. Seems they found cervical cancer cells on cerfvix during my regular Pap test so here I was never feeling healthier and now this was thrown at me. I scheduled my procedure dealt with it and moved forward. As of today everything is clear but I can tell you that I was never so scared in my life as going through that whole ordeal and I get reminded every three months when I have to go for a check up. So women please go for your OB Gym check ups I always went yearly and this came up that fast. The next few months I learned to love myself even more as the weight came off my confidence soared and for every pound I lost in this journey I made ten times that in friendships. There are many people that I have formed friendships with but there is a group of nine women that I bounded with which are now called the Mean Girls (thank you Lesley for naming us)these women are so important in my world and my bonds with each of them have changed every month to form a tighter bond and the levels of friendship vary but we always there for each other. To me this form of friendship later in life is a rare gift and I thank God for them every night as I lay down to sleep. Thank you Linda, Susan,Kimmie, Kim Burke, Stefanie, Karen, Dolores,Tammy and Lesley. Then as the months past we enter December the holiday time what a time of year to be grateful for so many things along the journey we had many gatherings and it didn’t revolve around food but enjoying each others company. During the past months I started having the Mean Girls over about once a month for mini support group meetings and then I decided to have a Christmas party for family and friends. My Aunt told me that she was so happy because my house was suddenly a home and alive again and she had missed it being that way the last decade. Now if she would only know how alive it would become the last four months. That night the very first person I had every met as I walked through the doors of a Barix Pre- Op Support group meeting became the love of my life. Yes,Dennis is the love of my life and if I had never walked through the door of Barix who knows where I would be in life today. I have a healthier life style, I can run up and down the steps with a load of laundry(ok with shopping bags), as a DJ I can go out and dance more then half of a song on the dance floor with out wanting to cry because my knees hurt so bad. I have divorced Lane Bryant and now took up residence at New York and Company. I became a support group leader in October here it was less then a year ago that I felt I could not fit in or make any connections. Silly girl I was back then not giving myself so much credit. It was through the support of Shauna and Dennis that I really embraced the support group leader title….. I am about 27 pounds away from my goal meaning I have lost around 135 pounds from my highest weight and in time I will get there I am not in a race with anyone. I just take one day at time and each day is a new day to embrace life. Even the days I fight with those cute little M&Ms and some days yes they win but they are not going to be the end of the world. The goal will get here and I will set a new one for myself because this is all about successing not success. So thank you all that have supported me the last year from the one who lead me to Barix to my family,friends and new friends….to those that will let me support them in the future…… This is one wild ride and can not wait to see what the next year brings….. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you believe in your Dreams they will come true!
Beth,
I so wish I could have been there to hear you say those words at the meeting. Two words? lol Thanks for the laughs and for the tug on the heart strings - your reflections are so right on.
Here's to an amazing woman, an amazing life, an amazing journey, and more amazing things to come.
Congratulations!
Pam
I so wish I could have been there to hear you say those words at the meeting. Two words? lol Thanks for the laughs and for the tug on the heart strings - your reflections are so right on.
Here's to an amazing woman, an amazing life, an amazing journey, and more amazing things to come.
Congratulations!
Pam
Instead of complaining that the rosebush has thorns, be happy that the thorn bush has roses. 
If it's a long posting, you know it's a good one if "ADD-Shauna" reads the whole thing!
You know how much I love and appreciate you, Beth, for SO many reasons. It is an amazing feeling for me to see you define the word "successing" in your everyday life as you are. Continue to strive for your personal goals and to assist others in becoming as wonderous as you are. Continue to love those around you as they deserve to be loved. And most importantly, continue to allow yourself to be loved by all of us. Love you, Beth.
Shauna
You know how much I love and appreciate you, Beth, for SO many reasons. It is an amazing feeling for me to see you define the word "successing" in your everyday life as you are. Continue to strive for your personal goals and to assist others in becoming as wonderous as you are. Continue to love those around you as they deserve to be loved. And most importantly, continue to allow yourself to be loved by all of us. Love you, Beth.
Shauna
Deprived? Are you kidding? Deprivation ended September 20th, 2005.
RNY 9/05, Plastics 9/08
Still doing it after all of these years...
RNY 9/05, Plastics 9/08
Still doing it after all of these years...
Beth,
I am so glad I was able to be there to see and hear you share your reflection. It was and IS truly a beautiful reflection of a beautiful person inside and out, pre and post surgery person. Celebrate the YOU that has ALWAYS been there just as you have celebrated this ride of a lifetime. You have always been on the ride, you just weren't able to enjoy as much as you do right now perhaps. Blessings and continued happiness and successing!!!!
Jan.
I am so glad I was able to be there to see and hear you share your reflection. It was and IS truly a beautiful reflection of a beautiful person inside and out, pre and post surgery person. Celebrate the YOU that has ALWAYS been there just as you have celebrated this ride of a lifetime. You have always been on the ride, you just weren't able to enjoy as much as you do right now perhaps. Blessings and continued happiness and successing!!!!
Jan.
-
You must be the change you wish to see in the world.
--Mahatma Ghandi
Celebrate Life, L'Chaim, Peace, Shalom
Beth-
What a beautiful reflection! You have done a great job of embracing your new life!! Congratulations on all your success, joy, and happiness may there be much more to celebrate in the future!!
Much luv!!!!
Laura
What a beautiful reflection! You have done a great job of embracing your new life!! Congratulations on all your success, joy, and happiness may there be much more to celebrate in the future!!
Much luv!!!!
Laura
Laura
"Two roads diverged in a wood..and I took the one less travelled by and that has made all the difference." -Robert Frost
Over 176+ lbs lost since surgery!! :-)
See my profile for my OH Blog!!
Most Active
Recent Topics
