Not that I'm mot greatful, but come on

I'm alittle over 9 mths post op and down about 95-97lbs and trust me I do feel terrific, but one thing just bugs me and I'm just having a bit of trouble dealing with it.  Since I've lost the weight I have tuned myself up a bit, cut the hair short, changed the color, and I'm in a size 10-12, which I haven't been in for about 6-7 years now.  But here's the probably, all these men are like crawling out of the woodwork after me, yes some might say so where's the problem,  but it really is a problem from me.  Most of these men knew me prior to my weight gain and of course did their fair share of chasing then but when I beganing having some medical problems and gained weight they just kind of shrugged me off, and most would only make conversation if I was right there near them, God forbid if they went out of their way to say hi or to talk to me, and now it's like they're tripping over eachother to talk to me.  Flattering yes, but I'm also pissed off to that I'm good enough now... I mean after all I'm still the same person, just smaller now but still the same and not quite sure how to handle the situation.  I am a single mother and I'm now after about 11 years finally ready to get back in the groove and out there again but I just find it so darn frustrating, I fell like screaming I'm the same person I was last year at this time and I wasn't good enough then, so back OFF now.

lol... some men are just dogs... I'm sure there are some women that are that way to the guys on this message board as well... I would just ignore them and find a good guy... hang in there... there is still some good guys out there...

Just throw 'em over here....(assumes Johnny Bench position)...lol.

Seriously though, it ****** me off too, and it's not fair.

I do know what you are saying, and it bugs me --- especially the way my ex treats me now as opposed to 11 months ago, but we won't even GO there.

But at the risk of losing my woman's card I have to say, I really LOVE the male attention I'm getting. I friggin' love the hell out of it. And I love looking at men. I almost fell over my own feet in the mall today when I went by a poster of Jon Bonjovi, so, am I any different from those men? Maybe not.

Well, tell them just how you feel.  Put it on them to deal with your feelings, and curb their libidos.  Unfortunately, and this may sound crude, but most, not all, but most men think with their D***s.  Sorry guys, I just call them as I see them.

I am not in the market for dating right now, just because I have some personal issues I am working on.  But, I do understand the men/sex/lust thing.  I was married for 25 years, and when my ex left me, one of the many reasons he gave for leaving me was my obesity. 

I am at the point in my life where I would tell those losers exactly what you told us.  "I appreciate the attention you are giving me.  I am the same person I was last year when I was overweight.  I was not good enough for you then, so what makes you think you are good enough for me now?"  Then, smile and turn away.

Have a great weekend.

Hugs,
Trish

My first thought is exactly of Trish's and tell them that you were not good enough last year and now, based SOLEY on that, they are not good enough for you.

That being said - I don't think I would have the "galls" to open up my mouth and actually say that.  Instead...I would probably just tell them no if they asked me out for some lame excuse or another and complain about it over here.  I can open my mouth in many situations....but generally speaking in asserting myself FOR myself....I can't do it.  I can do it FOR somebody without a second thought...and I can tell a doctor exactly when they are ordering something wrong and refuse to do it as a nurse...and can tell my hubby where to go when he gets out of line....but dont' ask me to stand up for myself with just about anybody else.  Go figure.

Good luck!!!  I'm still trying to get used to the attention i get when we are out.  Hubby loves it....leave it to me to find the only man who loves to see his wife get**** on.  It makes him feel like "yea, you can look, but I get to touch"....but part of it I think he also likes to see me squirm and likes to play the role of the "hero" when I give him my signal to get me the hell outta wherever I have gotten myself into, intentionally or not.

Ok...I've rambled on in your post long enough....

Hang in there.

Pam

Thanks everyone for your insight.  I haven't decided what to do yet in this situation, I've been tossing alot of this around.  Last night though  I actually did take matters in my own hands literally...A friend of mine  and I (she had WLS, too) went out to a bar to hang out now it was early, like 6 pm and I had this guy, who I've known for years but haven't seen him for about 6 years so he never saw why I needed WLS, came up and kissed me full on the mouth and was like damn girl you look good, let's go have sex.  I was like a deer in head lights and it took me a few moments for everything to sink in and just slapped him, and that apparently was just an invitation for him to say cool, it's been awhile since I had some rough sex... huh what???  My friend was like OMG they are crawling out of the wood work.   Then the other night I had worked at a HS basketball game doing security, and this old man, like old enough to be my dad came up to me and said, Damn when I was in school we never have help like you, I was like what, and he goes I've been bad, wanna frisk me????  My friend said last night she's gonna have to lock me up to keep me safe.  I just can't believe whats going on and that people are so superficial.  

just politely tell them thank you but no thank you and let the dumb ass figure it out for themselves.  living well is the best revenge.