Is too much change going to kill me?????

SO here it is...pardon me if this post is all over the place but I am a little overwhelmed. As I have been posting already, we sold our house, moved, I changed jobs, my mom was in the hospital, not to mention this is the 1st holiday season since my brother passed away and I miss him like crazy, the economy sucks, and I am constantly changing. My body is hcnaging, my lifestyle is changing, my desires are changing. Okay, so short of therapy or checking myself into the mental ward, I am turning to my WLS buddies to help me out with all of this. I am usually a very strong woman. I don't have meltdowns, I don't whine or cry usually, but suddenly I am feeling all of this at once. As I was reading Thanksgiving posts I was reminded why we still don't do well at Thanksgiving, this year will mark 10 years that my father passed away, the night before Thanksgiving.
So, while I am loving my new job and "liking" our new house I am still trying to deal with all of these things. I guess I am not really even looking for answers, but like I have heard so many times from Shauna, this is just one of those things I had to get out before my brain exploded. Thanks for listening.
By the way, after many comments last night at Barix about changing my avatar, I still can't get my latest pic to download onto here. I will figure it out sometime. Until then, my latest pic is on myspace  www.myspace.com/ktreavis  check it out if you'd like. Hope you all have a great night.
Love,
Katie

Nope, it won't kill you.  It will eventually make you stronger.  But sometimes...we need time to build up the strength.

I didn't have my mom in the hospital on top of the move and new job....but as you well know...I did have a husband who left for 48 hours without a word and without communication and I thought for sure our marriage was over. 

Did I have a meltdown?  I most certainly did.  He left on Tuesday evening....I was ok then...I was ok wednesday morning...it was wednesday evening when he still wasn't home that it all came crashing down around me.  I cried and cried and cried that night....and truth be told...had a few drinks along with the tears.  I know...not the best decision in the world.  And yes, I got drunk.  And yes, my problems were still there in the morning.

Point of the story....one week later...hubby is home...we are working on communication...I am settling into my new job decently...I now know basically which light switches control what in my new house and what cabinets hold which pots and pans.  My two cats who got along fabulously in the old house went into fight mode and were attacking each other for the first two weeks to the point where some nights I had to separate them.  They now can walk past each other without feeling the need to take a chunk out of the others fur.

So, yes - get it out.  None of us will be able to give you answers...they will come to you in time.  However...we can listen and understand where you are because many of us have been there at some point in our lives or another.

The holidays and the emotional toll families are put through is a whole other hurdle - but at least be thankful you have you have to support you.  Know that they are looking down on you and would want you to celebrate the holidays and not cry that they are not there physically.

As far as your avatar is concerned - if you would like....send it to me and I will make it for you and send it back to you. 

Hang in there.

Pam

Thanks pam, this is why I come here....can you pm me your email so i can send you the pic?

thanks,
katie

[email protected]

Make sure you include the period in between ED and RN - a lot of people miss it and then I don't get the email ;-)

Pam

it will not kill you. Change is the only constant in life. When you feel overwhelmed take a step back and focus on those things that remain the same, the things that are stable.  spend some time there and you will feel less afraid of the changes.

Hi Katie,
Change sucks, but is necessary for growth, or so they say. 

I cam empathize with the missing your brother this holiday.  My younger brother died two years ago, and my older brother died in February.  We are going to a restaurant this holiday as a result.  I am trying to numb out rather than think about missing them.  Probably not the healthiest reaction, but not the worst either.

My best suggestion would be to try to meditate, and do some deep breathing to relax with.  Focus on a particular phrase and breath in and out slowly for a few minutes. 

Hang in there.  We all get through these valleys and then can attest to God's goodness when we get to the other side.

Hugs,
Trish

Katie,

Just hang in there and you will be fine.  It could be your hormones going all over the place.  And that is part of the change.  The other day I felt myself just lashing out and really being mean and screaming at Connor.  After I did it, I'm like, what the hell is wrong with me.  And I thought did I not take my vitamins or is this some kind of rage that I'm going through.  Then a few days later I got my monthly friend :)  So basically it was PMS.  But still it was change and we all go through it.

If you've read any of my posts you know my situation, marriage is over, house is for sale.  Thank God the separation is amicable and we're the best of friends.  If it wasn't for that, I'd be crying every moment of the day.  The thought of me leaving my house and starting over by MYSELF is so frightening!!  That change scares me the most.  Because I'm like, will I be able to do it, can I afford the place where I'm going.  And deep down I know I can, but it's just the whole change factor and realizing for the first time that I'll be on my own and paying the bills all by myself.  You just can't imagine how that feels to me, or maybe you can.  But I'm scared to death!!! 

But these are all things that people go through, changes in our lives.  And we all get through them.  And they will make us stronger.  I'll certainly do whatever I can to keep myself afloat and take care of my child.  And that's just the way it has to be.  A year ago I would have had a complete meltdown and probably would have committed myself realizing that I would be doing something by myself.  But I am confident now and can take opportunity like never before.  And that's the good part about change now.

Like I said, just hang in there.  You will get through all of this.  And you know, of course, we're all here to help you through.  Take care.....

Katie,
We are here so you can vent anytime that you need to.
Changes, even good changes, can be hard to take at first. You have a new home, a new
job and a new body. You have your mom on top of that and the holidays closing in - I
think it would not be normal if none of this phased you.  Also, I think that all of those
hormones being released from the weight loss really make you feel some wild things.
I thought there was something wrong with me for awhile. Why after losing all of this weight was I so sad. I thought I should be jumping and down with joy, yet I was miserable. Thank god - it
does pass and things get better. Hang in there - we are here for you.
Tammy

Hi Katie - not much I can say that the others didn't - but I can say a few prayers for you and your family to help you thru this difficult time and difficult season w/o your brother and your dad. My dad died over 25 years ago and I still miss him terribly at the holidays - I guess it will always be that way.

Hang in there - you and your body are going through so many changes right now, and believe it or not posts like yours help all of us, too - sometimes they make us sit back and look at ourselves and what we've gone thru and how we've reacted.

Take care....Kathy

Thanks so much everybody. I am feeling much better, I realized that I needed to make sure I was working out, I went to the gym Friday and Saturday morning and I got some of my frustration out. I am trying to deal with some of the other things too. Thanks again, I don't know what I would do without all of you.

Katie