"You're getting too thin...."

Mary Benford
on 10/28/08 12:19 am - Emmaus, PA
After sending my mom the pictures from halloween, I got a text from her on my phone....  "Looks great, I hope you're not getting too thin."
Hmm...  Ok, so I took that with a grain of salt, and figured eh, it's just my mom...   Then today at work, someone mentions "since I've been here, you've lost an awful lot of weight...   do you think you should still be losing?  Because you're bony as it is..."  BONY?!  me...    bony..    HAH 
Then, the other day I got "You're just so pretty, you better not lose any more weight, or you'll be completely unhealthy looking."   WTF?

Now...   I moved up here in January, and started working with these people when I was 9 months post-op.  So the majority of my weight was gone, but from January, until now..  I have  significantly lost a bunch more weight..  it's just been so slow, I really haven't taken it into account.  I'll go a week, gain three or four pounds, then the next week lose 7-10 more.  I'm not even trying to lose any more weight...  It just keeps coming off.  

I know I know...    this makes me sound like one of those annoying highschool girls that say "i just can't gain weight, blah blah blah"   but really...   I'm frustrated.
I like the way I look.   I've finally gotten to the point where I'm comfortable with my body..  I can look at myself in the mirror, and I'm really beginning to see who I've physically become.  I've been taking compliments better..   Everything is just good, and then this "You're too skinny" BS.
It's one extreme or the other..  but why can't my body just decide where it wants to be?   I don't look at myself and see thin..  I see average.  I see healthy!

I don't really know what the point of my post here is.   I guess I'm just frustrated.  I'm not asking how to make it stop, cause I'm not sure if I'm where I'm supposed to be yet.   I'm just annoyed with certain aspects of how you just can't make everyone happy. 

     Success is a journey... not a destination!     

Pam Hart
on 10/28/08 12:25 am - Easton, PA
And just last week my father looked at me and said "You look almost sickly" 

Do I think you look to thin?  Absolutely not.  You look fabulous.  And you are working your tool - not necessarily to lose more - but to maintain.  Your body will find it's happy spot.  For a time I dropped down to 127.  I think that was about for 24 red hot hours.  I bounce between 128-133.  And I'm happy there.  People tell me all the time that I look to thin or I look like I shouldn't lose any more - and when I tell them it has been 8 weeks since I've lost anything they don't believe me.

Screw them.

"I like the way I look.   I've finally gotten to the point where I'm comfortable with my body..  I can look at myself in the mirror, and I'm really beginning to see who I've physically become.  I've been taking compliments better..   Everything is just good..."       And that's the part of your post that is most important.

Much as our brains take time to catch up - people like family are used to seeing you a certain way and it takes time for THEIR brains to catch up.

You look marvelous darling - and don't let anybody else tell you differently.  You are happy, you are healthy...you have everything you have owed to you for a very long time.

Pam
Instead of complaining that the rosebush has thorns, be happy that the thorn bush has roses.
Liz R.
on 10/28/08 2:03 am - Easton, PA
Mary - phoey on them! You look amazing! Just like I told Pam last week - parents are the first to worry and just like with our brains it takes a while for others to catch up too. Most of these people spent a lot of time looking at us fluffy - so now looking at us thin is hard to grasp.

You keep up the fantastic work and keep telling yourself you are happy, healty and comfortable where you are - just think of what a beautiful bride you are going to make!

liz
tammypa
on 10/28/08 2:17 am - Philadelphia, PA
Mary,
You look amazing - the heck with those people.
Sometimes I wonder if it can be a bit of jealousy coming from those people.

You live with Norm - if you were "too skinny"- I think he would have told you.
He does not seem like the type to hold anything back - that is why I love his posts.

You say you are getting comfortable with you body - enjoy it. Forgot the stupid comments.

Tammy 
tammypa
on 10/28/08 2:19 am - Philadelphia, PA
Mary,
When I talk about the stupid comments - I mean coworkers.
I think moms and dads never think you weigh enough.
Tammy
dit657
on 10/28/08 2:40 am - Boothwyn, PA
Your job isn't to make everyone else happy - your job is to make yourself happy - and you'll know when you're 'thin' enough for you - and from the pics I've seen you're there now and look amazing - don't let those other people get you down - and I'm not sure where they feel they're 'allowed' to make comments like that. They certainly wouldn't walk up to someone else and say 'You're too fat - you need to lose weight!', but have no qualms telling someone else they're too thin?

Your body will find its right weight, and you'll figure out how to maintain it - if anyone has seen your before and after pictures they know what an amazing person you are and how far you've come!

Kathy


'One shoe can change your life'...Cinderella
(deactivated member)
on 10/28/08 3:07 am
We will never make everyone happy.  You only have to make YOURSELF happy.  Tell everyone else to bite your "boney" ass!! and then walk away.  Of course, you may want to censor that for the people at work  Kudos to you for being at the point where you are comfortable.  Not many women...thin or not....can say they are comfortable with themself.  You look fantastic!  Be proud of you...we all are.

HG
GD_007
on 10/28/08 3:15 am - Drexel Hill, PA
ditto to what most everyone has already said....

I just can't wait for someone to tell me "you're getting too thin" - I  think I'll laugh in their face so hard I might start to cry    


Kiss my bony ass, nice...
-GD
bubble273
on 10/28/08 3:45 am - Levittown, PA
Mary,

I swear sometimes we're leading double lives!!! I was going to post this same thing. 

Connor is in a junior bowling league on Saturdays.  So we go last Saturday and a mom whose kids are on Connor's team and who I also know through baseball goes, "Girl, you better stop losing weight...your face is so thin and you look drawn in.  You don't want to get sickly looking or too thin!!!  And what's funny is I thought someone would say something to me because I didn't have any makeup on and when I don't I really look young and I can see it in my face how thin it looks.  I just said to her that it's because I didn't have any makeup on and that I'm not trying to lose any more weight.

But isn't it funny how people say these things to us???  My mother-in-law always calls me "bones."  And I just laugh at her.  And I always say, no, there's still plenty of meat on these bones.  And other people are like, oh, my God, you're so thin!!!  ME THIN????  That is hysterical to me.  I don't think so.

Just hang in there, Mary.  You look ABSOLUTELY FABULOSO!!!  You have done incredible.  Plus, they're all jealous anyway  .  And like you said, you're comfortable with who you are now.  And that's all that matters.

Take care.

Karen

 

Shannon O.
on 10/28/08 5:52 am - Reading, PA
girl you are sooo far from being too skinny... trust me I see girls that I need to feed all the time when I am at work...

I think you look great and if you need to lose more to hit goal then go for it... but if you are happy where you are weight wise then so be it... to me right now it is up to you if you are happy where you are or aren't... but I think your mom was just being mommy like hehehe...



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