Think I need a new mirror???
Last night was my first Comedy Night at the hall I DJ at since surgery I had missed the last two due to surgery. There are a lot of regulars that attend every show so a good amount know me after the last 4 years. So Friday night I am standing at the bar getting my water talking to my girlfriend when this "regular" guy comes over to me he said "Excuse me Beth is that you?" I laughed and said "Last time I checked I was me"."
He them replied "OMG YOU LOOK FANTASTIC! We were all over there trying to make out if that was you or not. We had thought Larry hired a new DJ" ..... I got red so fast and then said "Well thank you very much and it is really me"
I helped him carry over his drinks to his table(cause I am nice like that) as we approached the table he yelled " Guess what it really is Beth doesn't she look good" Next thing I knew a table of 10 people were all hugging me and saying they didn't beleive it was me. I wanted the floor to open up at that point I do not due well with attention. I thanked them all and returned the hugs then flew my ass into my DJ booth sat down alone started to cry and then stopped why was I crying???? I worked hard the last 6 months I should allow myself to enjoy the results and compliments because one day they will stop.
Now if I can just wrap my brain around this whole experince and allow myself to see what everyone else is seeing in mirror I will be cooking with gas.
Hang in there and work on the thank yous and getting the attention - it's hard to accept especially cause we don't see it - but know it will come with time and effort.
Pam
I just had this same type of discussion with my mom - who is very little - and told her how I still see the big fat Kathy even tho I know I've lost a lot of weight and sizes and look so much better and feel so much better, but its hard to wrap my brain around not always being the biggest person in the room anymore. She doesn't understand how I can feel that way and its so hard to explain to someone who has never experienced it.
Everyone tells us they can fix our stomachs but not our brains - ain't it the truth!! I guess acceptance of our new bodies will come with time - for the time being relax and enjoy the fact that everybody else is enjoying them for us!
Kathy
The brain doesn't accept it because of how fast it happened. I still have trouble walking over to the right size rack in a clothing store. It hasn't become natural for me to walk up to the normal sizes. I still find myself looking at 3x clothing and thinking does this come in a 5x. In addition to that I have to remind myself that even if I find the right size ... the style of the clothing I used to wear is totally not me anymore. I have to remind myself that I can wear short tops and bright colors. My entire life has been dark colors and 31 inch long tops. You are still in for some very big wow's. It was only this past June that I saw a picture of myself and realized what others are seeing that my brain could not grasp in the mirror.