Recent Posts
I had my revision last Thursday from sleeve to bypass and am surprised how good things are going, how good I feel and that as of right now I'm not having any issues getting in both my water and protein. I thank God for how well things are going.
Karen
Hi all,
Wanted to drop in and say hi.
Kathy, you are a saint. Jazz may be acting out, but my daughter, although she got up early for school, loved and I mean loved to push her limits with me. She loved to mouth off. Only to me and she pushed it and pushed it. The more she was punished, the more she mouthed off. Nice gentle children mostly turn into monsters when they are teens. Not all but many. They love pushing boundaries. It is such a difficult time for them and for parents/grandparents. Jazz will become a young lady one day. I wish you the level best in your job search. Take care of yourself.
Jeannie, you and your husband are in my thoughts also.
Vicki, wow. You do have your plate full. I think it is wonderful that you will be caring for Caralee. If you are up to it, do it. I put my daughter in preschool from the age of 2 till she was in kindergarten. But it was a different time. It was back in the mid 70s. She was so full of energy she would come home all dirty and I would give her a bath as soon as she got home. She was punished at preschool at least once a week for being fresh. You situation with the dogs, mom, everything is wow. Just wow. Take it one day at a time. I agree with you 100% that your daughter needs to finish her degree. She will then be able to be financially stable to help her daughter much better. My daughter had the choice after high school (I was divorced from her stepdad by then) of living rent free in his home and attending college or going out on her own and paying rent. I tried to finish my degree so many times. I let life get in the way. During my second marriage I was attending college at night. My manipulative husband whined abou****ching his stepdaughter who he dearly loved, so I stopped going. When I was on my own, I tried and working full time and being in my mid forties by then and carrying a load of classes caused so much anxiety. I was going thru nursing school. I had to stop, I about had a nervous breakdown from all the stress. Being on one's own is so difficult at times. I did it for over 20 years. OK off the soapbox, but education is so very important. So very important.
Saying hi to Connie and all to come. I think of you ladies and send love and good wishes.
Me? I have started a walking program. That's not easy to do in FL when it starts warming up. It was cool today and I walked as much as I could and I feel so much better. The wedding is coming up in a month and I want to look OK.
I wake up every morning with a headache and sometimes in the middle of the night too. I have wicked sinus issues and have to use a spray and a nasal wash to not be stuffed up and worse. I hate being lightheaded from my sinuses. I am thinking of having an outpatient surgery called Balloon Sinuplasty. As a balloon is inserted into the arteries of the heart to widen it, the same thing is done with the sinus passages. I need relief.
Anyways, everyone have a great day, don't sweat the small stuff.
With love.
Good morning Jeannie,
We were posting at the same time. You and Kenny are in my thoughts and prayers today. We'll be waiting to hear from you tonight or tomorrow. Stay strong!
Vickie
Good morning Kathy and all my sistas,
Kathy, I just love your posts. You bring such wisdom and insight and common sense to our board. Listen, honey, I understand completely about what you're dealing with with Jazz right now. Been there. I sometimes despaired of ever getting my two teenaged girls up and out the door during high school. They were awful and yes--it makes an awful stressful morning. When they were late for school, they got detention. That made them mad at ME! "Mother, why didn't you get me up on time?" LOL! It's not very funny when you're going through it. For what it's worth, I think letting her suffer the consequences of her behavior is the right thing to do--although I suspect it's not going to be a very pleasant experience for any of you. Hang in there, hon! And don't let her get away with that back talk and sass.
As for me and my situation with Mom, it has its good moments. She is loving being here and being part of Caralee's first months. She loves holding the baby and talking to her. I don't want to take that away from her. And she's quite helpful to me when I need to get something done and she takes the baby into her sitting room to rock and cuddle. I think we will just let things rock along for awhile. I'm about to get the dog situation under control. That will ease up some of the tension.
As far as keeping the baby goes, I really do want to do this--for awhile at least. I don't believe in daycare for infants. Mainly because I WORKED in an infant care room at a daycare once, and I saw first-hand how it was. The babies that cried and fussed all the time were the ones that got the attention--and not always good attention either. The babies who were quiet and "good" were ignored for the most part. I don't want that for Caralee. I kept Benny at home until he was 3 years old. I wanted to keep Budder, but health issues for both me and Butch prevented that from happening. So he had to go into day care at age 3 months and I can see the difference between the two of them. Benny is, for the most part, a calm and gentle child. Budder is way more aggressive and more likely to hit or strike out when he doesn't get his way. I blame that on day care. I believe that young children do benefit from social settings like pre-school or Mother's Day Out or Sunday school, but being left in day care from 6:30 in the morning until 5:30 at night is not good for anyone.
I'm not judging. Many times young mothers have no choice about returning to work. I don't feel Carrie has a choice. She MUST finish her degree. She is going into her 6th year of grad school now, and she's worked far too long and far too hard to quit at this point. The few remaining months are going to be very intense for her. I want to help her if I can. I'm just not sure what that "help" is going to look like yet.
Of course, I'm quite fatigued and I'm sorry if I come here and whine about it. It's a stressful time for me. There are many times when I wish I could just be left alone to do my own thing. But my family is my life. In my own way, I need them just as much as they need me. I don't need their financial help, and I don't need their physical care--yet. But the day will come when I do. I like to think that the time and care I'm putting into them now will come back to me 10-fold when I need it.
Thinking of and praying for Jeannie and Kenny today. It's going be a long hard day for both of them. Praying for the best possible outcome!
Judy, honey, you are a saint. That is all.
Just a morning update on the dogs:
That big dog is sitting right at the fence line this morning just waiting for my dogs to come out and "play". I'm keeping them IN. I don't trust that electric fence quite yet. And I have to wonder what the yard guys are going to think of that big bull dog! She sure does act threatening to anyone who approaches the fence. (The same service that does my yard, does her yard. Gonna be interesting!)
Maybelle pooped all over the floor again, but we only have one more night with her. I'm going to ask Carrie to take Lulu back to Waco with her--at least as long as my neighbor's daughter's big dog is here. That will just leave me with my dog Patty Kate and her dog Molly here. Molly is a just a big gentle Lab and no trouble at all (except for the constant shedding, and that's what Roomba is for). I just need to get through about another week of the dog wars, and then things will improve.
Well, I'd better close. My house needs some attention. (To say the least!) And there's laundry to do. (Always.) And I want to take my walk this morning. Doing two miles a day now without much trouble. I want back in ONEDERLAND by the end of this week! Stuck on 202 lbs, but I'm gonna make that scale move if it kills me!
Love you all!
Vickie
Kathy and Ladies,
I hope your day today is productive.
We are getting ready to head to the hospital. Kenny is upset because when I was in Denver last week, he received some forms from the hospital that he failed to open and they were his registration papers. I told him it will be fine; we will get there early enough to do the paper work but he thinks they will cancel his surgery. They won't do that.
Kathy, my daughter was so hard to get up and get off to school. I tried everything and she never did grow out of it. By the time she was a senior, it became shouting matches. I will say that when she was younger, I made her go to bed at 8 pm and would not let her have the phone, a tv, any games and I only left a night light in her room. I told her after a few weeks of going to bed at 8, we would try to give her a more age appropriate bed time, provided she respond appropriately when I wake her in the mornings. The 8 PM no phone, no TV, no games would get her back on track for a few months and then she would relapse. Kids today have so many things that distract them from bedtime. My granddaughter wanted to keep her little iPad touch in bed with her so she could listen to music and play games and I said no...the bed is for sleeping. Teenage years, for most girls, are horrible. I wouldn't go back through those years with my daughter for all the money in the world. I know you are pushed by her and sometimes it is better to just her mess up and learn her lesson. Sadly, teens don't learn their lessons; they think they won. LOL.
Julia, Julia, Julia....come out; come out; wherever you are. I miss Julia.
Well, ladies, I need to get my things I am taking to the hospital together. My silly husband said, I cannot have one sip of coffee? I said,nope...not a sip of coffee nor a sip of water...no bite of eggs, no oatmeal...nothing. He is greatly sad.
I will check back later today and I am hoping to have some very good news to share and if it is bad news, it won't be devastatingly bad.
Good Morning Ladies!
I am up early in my effort to get Jazz off to school. She refuses to get up...a frequently occurring event! Ugh! I told Jim we will let her sleep, but when she gets up she will NOT go to school and will suffer several consequences. We have been dealing with this for years and have had a screaming match almost every morning as she decides to rise 5 minutes before the bus gets here. She then tries to get out the door without brushing her teeth, an appropriate coat or shoes, and when told she is not leaving until she takes care of these things the screaming escalates. Jim has dealt with it solely the last 3 months, and it makes for such a horrible start to the day.
I am at my wits end with the screaming and back talk. I know it is typical of a 14 year old, but I never had the patience for it. My 3 were not angels, but they were not so darn disrespectful. Anyhow, rant over!
I am on the computer to job hunt & fill out applications. One place once 12 freakin' references. I had to contact some folks I have not been in touch with for years to ask if they could help me out. I have money coming in this month and had put away some savings, but I don't want to be unemployed for too long. THIS summer I want to do at least one or two trips in addition to getting to the beach for the day as often as possible. So the search is on!
I read the posts the past few days even though a lot of us seem to be busy elsewhere.
Vickie, I feel so bad for you being in the spot you're in. While I agree your mom needs to go to another suitable housing situation it must break your heart to have to consider this despite the stress she brings into your life. People told me for months to put my dad in a nursing home when his dementia became a 24-7 job, but I loved him to death & felt I owed it to him to take care of him the way he took care of me. But it had to be done, and eventually I did it. The stress was driving me towards a breakdown.
Jazz had just been born & her mom and her were also living with us so I can relate to the 'sandwich' you're in. I just could NOT balance all the roles in my own home at one time. And I knew from being a counselor and being IN counseling if I didn't take care of ME I really couldn't take care of anyone else. You're deep in the mix now so you may not even realize how much this if affecting you. I know you had an agreement to watch Caralee, and I do think society expects mothers to go back to work and put babies into daycare too soon these days. I think the first 3-6 months are very important for bonding and recovering and everyone getting used to their new roles. My opinion on watching Caralee is that on a short-term basis it is fine, but after that Carrie should get other resources into place so you are not the primary. Especially given the distance.
Just my two cents. Love you & best of luck! You'll get thru this...just some tough choices!
Jeannie, I am praying for both you & Kenny today as he goes thru surgery. I know how hard it is when your spouse is very sick. You, too, have had a lot on you the past several months, but your inner strength and wonderful sense of humor will pull you thru. Your trip sounded wonderful with the exception of the breathing episode in CO.
Judy, I agree with Jeannie about your Rick's family. I don't know if I could host ppl in my own home who are so rude and disrespectful, but that is one of those fine lines you walk in relationships with a spouse. I know if you put your foot down it could cause problems between you and Rick. It'd be nice if you could find a compromise because it seems they visit fairly often. Maybe you could deal with it once or twice a year, but any other visits would need to be at a hotel...
Connie, hang in there...sunshine is on the way and your increased meds should work wonders! Here's to hoping you feel tons better!
Yvonne, glad you got over your bug and got to celebrate your dad's birthday. Sure wish mine was still around to celebrate with.
Cindi B. & Cindy P...thinking of you two along with our other ladies who are busy and not posting.
Trish, also hope you are feeling better today!
Well, off to cyber job hunting! Wish me luck!
Kathy
The Dog Saga, Part Two
Well, hell. Carrie and I spent all morning putting that electric fence in place. And we did a pretty good job of it, too, for not having any idea how to do it in the first place. But there was a small gap at each end, maybe about 4 or 5 inches. We thought it would be okay.
So we let the dogs out and after a bit, Lulu got curious and touched her nose to the wire. Bam! She yelped and jumped and ran back into the house. Okay. Lesson learned. And none of the other dogs even went near the new fence.
Couple of hours later I was working in the back yard and here comes that big dog next door, charging the fence. Lulu ran towards the fence too, but stayed back from the wire. They were each barking like crazy, but they were apart. Great! I thought we had it. But then Lulu found that little gap at the end and zipped right through it! I had to reach over and grab her (and got shocked in the process--that was fun) and jerk her back over to the yard.
So I spent another hour figuring out how to block those gaps at the ends. Bernice came out and Mom told her that she needed to put an electric fence up on HER side, too. Go Mom! And it's true. If both sides had an electric fence the dogs would for sure be kept apart. I feel like I've done all I can do on my side.
Besides, I'm a little afraid that big dog might jump the fence. I told Bernice that, too. The wrought iron fence isn't high like those wooden privacy fences. I told her my boys play out here and I don't want to be worried about your dog coming over the fence.
Anyway, I'm done for the day. I'm going to take a bath and put on some pajamas and try to relax for the rest of the evening.
And Jeannie, I'm thinking about what you said. I've already been turning that over in my mind about helping Carrie to pay for day care in Waco. I think it will depend on whether or not she's going to graduate in August or next December. If it's August, I think I might can handle things for a few months. But if it's going to be next December, we're going to have to do something else. I'll gently broach the subject with Carrie this week and see how she feels about it. She was pretty upset at being separated from Caralee for three days last week. She might be re-thinking things herself.
I've done pretty good about sticking to my diet so far today. I was so mad at myself for eating that chocolate last night. I didn't eat very much. Just a small handful of M&M's. But it's the psychological dependence on chocolate when I get stressed that bothers me so much. I need a better coping mechanism for sure.
Well, I'm hot and tired and covered in dirt. It's into the tub with me!
Love you all!
Vickie
Hello Vickie and jeveryone...
Just saying hello to everyone. Using a phone for posting is the pits.
Vickie....I do agree with Jeannie. You need to be a mother and a grandmother.
There are many single mothers out there working and raising their children alone. I was one of those. I had no money and lived in a small apartment. It was hard but I did it. You can't be in charge of your children and grandchildren. They need to make it on their own. They have been given so much. They have nice places to live and have groceries and clothing. Their children will be fine. Help with daycare when you can. Let your daughters be in charge of their own lives. You be in charge of yours.
Your mom and you can't live together. She might not like living in senior housing. She will make friends. You have tried your best. You are not letting her down. She will live well.
I love you and want YOU happy. Take care of your needs.
Hello Ladies,
I have to tell you that my trip to Denver was way too fast. I took two undergraduates and a graduate tutor with me. Denver is beautiful and the mountains that are to the north west of the city are beautiful with their snow caps. I was so happy when the conference ended and we drove back...however, when we got to Kansas, our GPS rerouted us through Ks into MO and we couldn't figure out why but we were seeing huge smoke piles in the distance...then, we saw the wild fires...they were close and at a couple of points they were up to the highway. Apparently northern OK and a large portion of the grasslands of Ks burned---400000acres to be exact. I did take pictures and will try to post later.
Well tomorrow DH has his gall bladder removed, a huge kidney stone removed, his pancreas fixed up, and a biopsy on his liver. We are hoping everything comes back okay...he did tell me that he is feeling better with the medication he is taking...his blood sugar is down to 116 so all is well.
I will let everyone know what they find as soon as I can. I am not even speculating at this point.
I would like to tell you about my larger than life walk while in Denver. I met up with some old friends of mine and we wanted to go eat at this incredible French restaurant that we visited a couple of years when we were there for another conference. So, we checked it was about 1 mile from my hotel and they were staying in the same hotel so we decided it would be a good walk...forget that I was a mile higher in elevation than I had been the day before and that I am anemic to the point of needing blood....so we walked the mile there and I hate this incredible bread and butter, then rainbow trout with green beans and sunflower seeds, and a cup of delicious coffee....we waited for an hour and headed back....we got halfway back to the hotel and I became very light headed...I told them I was going to sit for a minute and for them to go ahead and I would catch up...thankfully they didn't leave me because I walked toward a bench and everything went dark...I knew I was about to pass out; one of my friend's husband was there and thankfully he was young and strong and he picked me up like a baby and gently put me on the bench...a total stranger who was also a nurse came up and said, it's the altitude...you don't have enough oxygen....she felt my pulse and she sat there with me and as if everything wasn't perfect enough, a kid on one of those bikes with a little cart behind it came up and said, how far are you going and he drove me and one of my friends to our hotel...he wasn't going to take money from me but I said either he take the money or it would blow out because he helped me tremendously....All was well after that.
Well, I am glad to be home and the bed is calling me for a nap.
Ladies, enjoy your day.
Judy,
I cannot imagine how awful it must be for you to entertain your husband's family. I know that you have issues with them in the past and that they have not been nice to you so to have them in your apartment and to have to be nice to them is awful. I tend to stay away front people I don't like and that includes my husband's family. His sister is a total ***** and I told him she is his sister and if he wants to have a relationship with her, he can do it out of my eyesight because I cannot stand her...she is racists, manipulative, ignorant, and a drunk and I am not required to entertain evil people.
I am glad you are able to eat food again and I hope all of that is working well.
Enjoy your ribs and hopefully you will get some much needed rest.
