Soggy Sunday

Good Morning Everyone!

Thought I'd post while I have a minute!

It is wet, cold & blustery Sunday morning out there. If I didn't have do much to do I'd go back to bed and a nap may be in order...just not right now!

Been a busy wkend. Jazz went to a father/daughter dance Friday night w/her moms long term boyfriend and had a great time.

I am so glad she has developed a good relationship with this man bc frankly there have been a string of losers. I trust him with her...he has a military background and is verdy disciplined, and he enjoys spending time w jazz. I have been allowing her to spend every wkend with her mom and him now that they are 3 yrs into their relationship and it appears fairly stable!

Thanks for all the posts about loving your grandkids but being happy to send them home. I feel guilty alot about wishing we didn't have the responsibility of raising Jazz...now I am more comfortable w my feelings.

Went out to dinner last nite w my sister and daughter who lives at the beach. She took us to a place she knew down there and it was excellent. We had a 3 hour meal and really enjoyed ourselves. Plus my sister and I got some quality time on the hour ride down there and back.

I have decided to give my 2 week notice at work tomorrow. This job had turned into 40+ hours weekly and the kids are difficult to manage. I am so stressed out it is affecting every aspect of my life. I will find something else and if I go w out a job for awhile we will just be poor again! Rather that than all this stress!

Saw my surgeon and lost 9 pounds...how I'll never know! I have been doing the one step forward...two steps back dance for awhile. But he was pleased and all my labs were good. I am beginning to see thedifference, but funny how when I shop I pull a 1x off the rack and think this will never fit me and damn if it doesn't!

I have been reading posts daily and look forward to being able to reconnect more often soon.

Love you all & have a great Sunday.

Good Morning Kathy and OFF,

I haven't been home much since my sister, Eileen, arrived on Wednesday.  We've been having a really good visit.  Last night was Isabel's play, The Wizard of Oz.  She was a Munchkin, announcer, and a Jitterbug, where she did a dance with Dorothy in the woods near the Wicked Witch's castle.  We were so proud.  Colleen and I are so disappointed that our friend who ran the theater program is moving to Grand Rapids.  Her mission in organizing this theater company was to expose children to the arts, especially since the schools have all but gutted them.  Thank God Congress passed the education law requiring the arts be part of every school curriculum.  Research has shown that students who are educated and exposed to the arts, music and visual, theater, etc, excel in math and reading, compared to the kids now, where the arts were removed to emphasize reading and math.  Scores in those two subjects dropped after schools removed the arts.

Kathy, I am sorry your job didn't work out.  I understand how stressful working with certain kids can be.  I can't imagine driving with them in the car.  I learned to deal with kids in a classroom setting, but could never drive out of control kids.  I could have never been a bus driver.  I stressed out taking kids on class trips.  Even the good kids.  I'm sure you will find something that fits your needs.  Congrats on the weight loss, and good report from the doc.

I started physical therapy.  I am so out of shape.  I have simple exercises for homework right now.  But, what I did Thursday wore me out.  Leg lifts, etc. Riding the recumbent bike felt good though.  I need to get one.  I can keep it in the basement.  I had one years ago, but when I downsized to the smaller apartment, I gave it to my sister, who never used it, and then got rid of it.  

Speaking of my sister, I felt so bad for her last night.  The play was at a middle school auditorium, and the seats were way too small for her.  She is so large, I'm worried for her.  She got a chair and sat in the back.  I went back and sat with her in the last row.  She says she goes walking at the mall, and goes to Weigh****chers.  She had the lap band surgery years ago, but never followed the dietary guidelines, or exercised.  Colleen took her to a shoe store called Playmakers, which specializes in athletic shoes.  The staff there knows their stuff, and fitted her with good walking shoes.  Since Colleen has been a runner since 7th grade, she only buys quality running shoes.  Mom has always enabled Eileen, saying her obesity is genetic, since certain relatives in our family tree were obese.  But, Sis has been in therapy for decades, has gone to inpatient eating disorder treatment in Florida for a month long program, did Overeaters Anonymous, has been in AA since the early 80's, etc, I understand the food addiction got her but good.  When she went for the WLS, I asked by she she didn't go for the RNY, and she said she was afraid because of the clotting disorder, being on Coumadin, and having already had the pulmonary embolism.  Plus, we had already buried our brothers their blood clots killed them.  I knew I had the clotting disorder when I had my WLS, and Sis had already had her embolism, but my brothers died afterward.  I was already riding the bike, and walking a lot, before my surgery.

Well, I don't have time to check all the posts I've missed.  I'll try to catch up later.  I hope Judy's surgery went well.  I am sorry I didn't check in sooner, but it's been crazy not being home till late, and all that.  Eileen is staying at Colleen's to spend more time with the kids.  She adores them, and they love her.  Since the kids call me Grandma Trish, he has called her GramEileen.  

There is one thing I need to talk about with my therapist.  Colleen has made negative comments about my need for the cane, implying that she will be disapproving if I need it permanently.  She has also made negative comments about the fact that I have a permanent handicapped placard for parking.  She says I'm too young to need a cane permanently.  She thinks I am too young to have had the damage to my foot that required the surgeries.  

Must scoot.

Hugs,

Trish

Trish,

If you need to walk with a cane, you walk with a cane. If you need the placard, you keep it. Your need for assistive devices is between you and your doctor. 

Be careful and don't over exercise because you can actually tear stuff if you are too aggressive with exercising.   

Your need for a cane and handicap placard are your business and not Colleen's. I have both and I need them. I'm going on 61 and believe me, it's not too young to need these assisted devices. I've had the handicap placard since I was 49 or so; I've used the cane on and off since my mid-50s. Wish I didn't need them, but it is what it is. Tell Colleen to mind her own business.

Good morning Kathy and Trish and everyone else,

Kathy I stand in awe of the fact that you are raising your grand daughter and a young teen is going to be a challenge no matter what!  I wholly support your decision to quit your current job with even more teens, especially problem children.  You're only human, woman! Ditch that stress and find something quiet that doesn't tax your nerves!

Trish good to hear from you this morning! I'm glad you've been having a good visit with Eileen.  I don't know what to think about colleen's comments about your cane! She can't possibly know what you need and don't need to feel physically secure. Don't listen to her.  The only opinion that counts (besides your own) is your doctor or PT.  IF YOU NEED THE CANE, USE IT.

Well I am doing really well with my new diet and exercise.  It's only been two days, but I am much encouraged.  All the insane food cravings have stopped. I haven't even thought about eating a cookie or a candy bar. There's half a pie and a cake in the house and I haven't so much as glanced at them. And I haven't been craving a coke either. All of that is good. I walked 2 miles yesterday morning and this morning.  And I'm down 2 pounds but I figure that is all water weight since I've been peeing non-stop for the past two days.  Still I feel more hopeful than I have in a long long time. I am going back down to 160 lbs again and this time I'm going to stay there!

(We are taking a family vacation in July to go tubing on the Frio river and I am going to be thin!)

I went plant shopping yesterday afternoon and I bought three more trees and 5 more flowering shrubs.  I was very happy to find my Muskogee crape myrtles and a beautiful little Texas redbud tree.  My landscaper was going to charge me $125 for a 15 gallon redbud, but I got this one in the 5 gallon size for $60! Big savings!

(You should have seen me cramming 3 trees into the back of my SUV!)

Carrie's friend Megan came yesterday and it was good for all of us. Meg and Carrie and the baby went their way yesterday afternoon and I went mine.  But I babysat Caralee last night while they went out to dinner. Chris and the boys came over for a visit and Benny is just the sweetest thing with the baby. He wants to hold her and feed her and change her diaper (did you know that boys have a penis, but girls don't?) and just talk to her all the time.  So sweet!  Budder is less interested but can say "Baby Caralee" and comes over to check on her every now and then.

So I have to go to the store this afternoon and do some prep for the landscapers tomorrow. I'm trying to be sure I have everything they need on hand so as not to incur any additional charges. It's going to cost me an arm and a leg as it is. But Butch would have wanted me to be happy and flowers make me happy. Gardening was one of our shared passions.  So I'll spend the money now and worry about my finances later. Like Kathy, I can always go back to work.

Love you all!

Hey Ladies,

I hope you all have a nice day today. I just finished eating breakfast, which is really late for me but I got up and the cats were sleeping and DH was sleeping so I decided to do some reading and then before long I looked up and time had flown by and I realized I had not taken my steroid because I hadn't eaten so I made a vegetable casserole with eggs....I ate small piece and froze the rest because DH doesn't need to be reminded that he has to drink broth while I eat food.  

Last night, I got up to help DH with his pain management program and after the spasms subsided and the pain med made him sleepy, I decided I needed a snack but it was 1:45 in the morning so I decided to get me a small cup of green olives...like six olives. I ate a couple, enough to get rid of the craving, and left the rest in the bowl next to my chair and this morning, my cats have been fighting over the cup of olives. They ate the olives (they are not starved in spite of their thinking they are)and now they are tipping their paws in the cup and licking off the salty juice from the olives.  They have food in their bowl, fresh water, and they've had their snacks....but they have now taken a shine to olives.  Crazy cats. They also fight over water melon....

I have been binge watching Big Love (don't judge), and last night, between episodes, I went down to make sure the litter box was tidy and realized that I had used the last of the litter and I didn't want to need fresh litter and there not be any, so I decided to run to the nearest all night walmart....DH was resting and so I texted one of my gays and asked him if he was up and did he want to make a walmart run and maybe drop somewhere for coffee and he, of course, was up, so he decided to pick me up.  I left a note on my DH's chair, on the refrigerator, and even on my pillow incase he woke up and worried.  We walked up and down every single aisle of walmart, we went through the garden section and by the time we left (an hour and a half later), my bank account dropped a couple of hundred dollars....but, I bought stuff we needed but most was plant crap. I have suddenly taken on a new obsession (house plants). I have been growing two avocado trees from the seeds of the avocados my cousin sent me from her trees in CA.  Anyway, they are ready to be taken out of the water and planted in pots so I bought two gorgeous southwestern pots that have camels on them....does that make them southwestern, middle eastern?  who knows but they are the traditional colors of the southwest...  Anyway, this morning I planted the avocado trees in their new pots and when it gets warm enough, I'll move them onto my patio. 

Well, ladies, I need to get off here and get busy. A few months ago, I took the darts out of a couple of pair of my dress pants not because they didn't fit, but because when I put the extra darts in, they were a little too loose but then I gained a few pounds and they were too snug and I hate too snug...so today, I am taking the waste band off and I'm putting the darts back and taken up the sides a bit too. You guys have a great day.

Kathy,

Before WLS, I had custody of my grandson, who at the time, was a baby.  I love him and loved him then but I was worn out all the time. My husband and my son both were very good about taking him to the park to give me a break but still it was constant with him...I was teaching and taking doctoral classes and I would never have that freedom that one needs when finishing up a doctorate degree. I had to reserve all my researching and grading papers for late at night and I was exhausted all the time.  

I think it goes without saying that by the time we all reach a certain age, our bodies and our minds are ready to slow down and raising children or having children part time is antithetical to our natural time line...the one where we stop reproducing and our children are grown so we are free...you know? 

Don't beat yourself up. We all do for our kids and grandkids all that we can so that they will have a good life but that doesn't mean we cannot hold on to the dream that we will have freedom....

I also remembering buying clothes from the regular clothing stores and not the plus size stores. In fact, I would resist because I thought there was no way that would ever fit me. The lady at Michelles finally told me that they didn't have a size small enough for me...that I was going to have to shop at the regular stores. I was shocked and thought she was wrong and when I went to Penny's, I started in the plus sizes and took the largest sizes and began trying clothes on and worked my way down to a size 16 and I will never forget coming out of the dressing room with those jeans size 16 and telling my husband that they fit....and then a few months later I totally skipped the 14 and went to the 12....I thought I had died and gone to thin heaven. LOL.   I still buy jeans and at Pennys but mostly I make my clothes because I am so damn short legged that when I buy dress pants or causal pants, I end up taking them up and I just as soon make them.  But, I do love shopping for jeans and going straight to the regular size clothes.  

You are doing fantastic....

Hi Kathy and my OFF family:

Sorry your job didn't work out for you. Happy Jazz has a relationship with her mom's boyfriend. Being single I don't have grands to worry about. 

I am very happy with my neurostimulator. My knees don't hurt at all, nor does my back. I haven't taken a vicodin in two days. Or a flexeril. The only pain I have, and it's minor, is at the incision site. I didn't say ouch once last night at work ... well, my left hand hurt a bit, but not too much. It's just a wonder. I have lived so many years with this pain and suddenly, with just a little gentle massage and a little tingling, I don't have it anymore. And I slept so well, too.

Congrats for losing weight, Kathy. 

For everyone else, happy spring!

Eileen, that is so interesting re your pain relief and that the implant despite stimulation, let you sleep well. Very interesting!

Jen

Hear you on canes,  handicap parking permits and I also have a rollator walker for the really bad days and the Malls.

Eileen,

I am so happy that you have a solution to your pain. Living in pain is awful.