Barely Friday......

Good Early Morning Ladies (starting this post at 2:52 a.m. my time).

Having my first cup of protein coffee.  Woke up crying for some reason - did a lot of thinking yesterday about all that has happened over the past several years, and it really brought me down. Don't get me wrong, things are improving, but I'm hoping things get a lot better.  I have no family around here, except Maura and Taylor - and I'm re-establishing some old friendships that fell by the wayside due to some of Jim's actions, which I allowed him to get away with.  I put up with a lot from him, and it wasn't until I went forward with WLS that I started to get strong enough not to put up with all of his manipulations.  But even though he could be a ******* it was me that let him get away with the things he did.  Having surgery has brought about a lot of positive changes for me.  

Plus, I picked up a heavy box yesterday and my shoulder hurts more.  So the two things combined really messed up my mind..

Current weather watch puts us with only getting a small amount of snow - as long as the storm doesn't change course.  I had been thinking about a trip to Arizona to visit Jim's aunt, but she had a friend who sold her place and will be moving back to New Hampshire, but she'll be staying with Mona until the worst of the Winter passes by, so there's no room at the inn now.

I'll do some reading today or try to do some crocheting...but I've been looking at YouTube videos for instructions....I've mastered the chain stitch can do single stitches, but I'm still having trouble figuring out the double stitches.  I had picked up a coloring book and colored pencils for myself, but decided to give it to Maura today for her birthday, because she's dealing with a lot of stress lately - so I'll give her those along with some lavender and chamomile incense sticks I got. Hopefully, they will bring her some relief.

Signing off for now - will check in again later.  Lots of love to you all.

Mary  (3:19 a.m.)

Good morning Mary and my sistas,

Mary, I'm sorry for your troubled night. While I believe in facing things head on, I also believe that done is done. There's not one single thing you can do to change the past. All you can do is learn from it and move on. Talk lovingly and positively to yourself. You are still evolving as a human being and your journey isn't over yet!

So I had a big day yesterday. First of all I finally cleaned out my closet! Oh it's so pretty I want to take a picture of it! LOL!  This is my only closet in this house. Since I gave Mom the front two bedrooms and the hall closet for her things, I am left with the one big walk in closet in my bedroom. It can get rather crowded and MESSY if I don't keep up with it. I had to purge quite a bit. Now I need to bring myself to the task of getting rid of some more of Butch's clothes. I still have one big section of his shirts hanging there. I need to move them out. Just not quite ready to do that yet, but it's coming.

I also sold the truck yesterday. I'm not real happy about the price I got, but I am real happy to have it done. I sold it to car max. I just didn't have the time or the heart to keep trying to sell it on my own. I just needed it gone and now it is. So done is done. One less thing to worry about.

This morning my Realtor is coming and I need to get ready for my meeting with her. Which means I need to clean up certain parts of the house (LOL!), and get all my documents together. So okay. I can do that. Once that house is sold I'll be in much better shape--financially, mentally, emotionally...

The tick problem continues, so that is my main chore for this afternoon. Last night I pulled six ticks off Maybelle and three off Lulu. Ugh. Shudder. Gross. I could barely fall asleep for thinking about ticks and imagining them crawling on me. I told y'all, I have a real problem with ticks.  They are my worst bug phobia. Anyway it was way too windy to spray the yard yesterday, but hopefully it will be calmer today.

Okay I need to get out of this tub and kick my but into high gear again.  Oh! And please say a prayer for Cindi B. today. Her mom in North Carolina went into the hospital ER last night with a possible stroke. Cindi is moving hell and high water trying to get to her today. That big storm is making travel difficult for her. I think she finally got a flight to Savannah and has to drive the rest of the way.  Praying for you Cindi!

Love you all!  Have a good day.

Good morning Mary and OFF-

Just a quick update.  Yes Mom was taken to ER yesterday with stroke symptoms.  Second time this week.  Tuesday MRI was clear, Thursday MRI was clear but they finally admitted her for care.  As many of you know, Medicare will no longer pay for hospital admissions for just observation, you have to be sick and/or dying.  Topping that is the airports I could fly into are all in the path of winter storm Jonas.  So fortunately we had established a relationship with the home care agency and they sent someone to hospital to advocate for Mom.  She was admitted about 11 pm CST last night.

Sanity prevailed about 5 am this morning when I realized that my Mom is in the right place and receiving the care she needs.  It does no good to try to fly to Savannah and then drive 3-4 hours northwest into this storm so I have been on hold with airline for almost an hour now trying to change my reservations for Monday morning.  I can't do my Mom any good if I have a car accident or end up in timbucktu due to this weather systerm.  I have spoken with Mom's nurses and Mom this morning.  She is more lucid this morning but slurred voice.  Sandwiched between the two ER visits was a fall in her apartment which resulted in bruised hip.  Lots of tests scheduled and I'm sure they'll be delayed due to personnel not making it to work due to the weather.

So I'll monitor by phone and remain flexible arguing with airline about change fees.  Thank you all for your thoughts, prayers and swinging chickens they are greatly appreciated.

Cindi B.

Good morning Mary and OFF-

Just a quick update.  Yes Mom was taken to ER yesterday with stroke symptoms.  Second time this week.  Tuesday MRI was clear, Thursday MRI was clear but they finally admitted her for care.  As many of you know, Medicare will no longer pay for hospital admissions for just observation, you have to be sick and/or dying.  Topping that is the airports I could fly into are all in the path of winter storm Jonas.  So fortunately we had established a relationship with the home care agency and they sent someone to hospital to advocate for Mom.  She was admitted about 11 pm CST last night.

Sanity prevailed about 5 am this morning when I realized that my Mom is in the right place and receiving the care she needs.  It does no good to try to fly to Savannah and then drive 3-4 hours northwest into this storm so I have been on hold with airline for almost an hour now trying to change my reservations for Monday morning.  I can't do my Mom any good if I have a car accident or end up in timbucktu due to this weather systerm.  I have spoken with Mom's nurses and Mom this morning.  She is more lucid this morning but slurred voice.  Sandwiched between the two ER visits was a fall in her apartment which resulted in bruised hip.  Lots of tests scheduled and I'm sure they'll be delayed due to personnel not making it to work due to the weather.

So I'll monitor by phone and remain flexible arguing with airline about change fees.  Thank you all for your thoughts, prayers and swinging chickens they are greatly appreciated.  Another life lesson on it's way to me, wish me luck!

Cindi B.

Hi Mary and my OFF family:

It's snowing here. Not sure how much we're getting, but all the schools are closed, Kentucky (just across the river) state offices are closed, everyone is stocking up on milk and bread for the big storm (actually we're only supposed to get 1-3 inches or 2-4 inches, depending on the model). But they panic here for every little snowflake, so we have an early press run and I need to be in at 1 p.m. We will need to be done at 9 p.m. ... there's no prep sports tonight because of no school. I might actually get some prep work done for Sunday.

Mary, so sorry you're feeling blue. It's hard to let go of people, even if they weren't the best people. They were our family. I mourned my friend Margie for months ... I think, mostly because I wasn't able to say goodbye (she lived in South Dakota and died suddenly). I had a rough time after she died and my shrink finally suggested I need antidepressants ... it wasn't so much I was crying a lot (although I did that, too), but I was angry, I had meltdowns at work. After the antidepressants, I didn't do that anymore, even after I got laid off. 

I know WLS has a good effect on many parts of our lives, making us change who we are, how we feel about ourselves, how we look at others and how they treat us. I know many women who have changed their relationships after WLS. 

Vickie, hurray for the closet cleaning. You'd be surprised at how much I purged when I moved to this apartment ... I had plenty of empty hangers. I had to do it, because I knew I had only one closet for my stuff. It's different when you're sharing your home.

Cindi, sorry to hear about your mom. Hope she gets the help she needs. I know what you mean about relying on the home for information. Gary and I have to do that, too, with our mom, but we feel she's in good hands there. Wait until the storm is over before you go out there. Sounds like she may have had a cardiac episode of some kind if her speech is slurred. 

Well, hope everyone stays safe and warm wherever they are. I will have to get showered and dressed soon to get to work. Have a good day.

Good Afternoon Mary and OFF,

Sorry I've been AWOL the past few days.  Wednesday, I forgot to take my meds in the morning, and I was sluggish the whole day.  Basically in a deep fog.  I did see my therapist, for the first time since my surgery.  That was good.  

It's been so freaking cold here, I've had trouble staying warm.  Wish I didn't have to go out today, but I have some prescriptions waiting for me at Rite Aid.  

Had a Mama Bear day yesterday, coz Colleen told me that gossips at my church, where she and Trent stopped attending, got the new pastor riled up about her and Trent, and he lashed out at them via Facebook messaging.  Not even a phone call.  I am heartbroken.  These are Christians who are anti- all the social issues, but don't hesitate to gossip, and backbite.  I was upset all day yesterday.  Then, I got to talking to Eileen, and wanted to talk about that, when she hands the phone to Mom, who goes off on how Sean is a taker, because Eileen gave him her laptop, which he was prepared to pay for.  I lost it on her.  Eileen has always been overly generous, because she has such low self-esteem.  I have tried to buy stuff off her, and she wouldn't let me pay her. 

It's like when Chris was in college, and he spent a summer selling Kirby vacuum cleaners, and demonstrated for Eileen, so Eileen bought one, and Mom got mad at Chris.  Like it's his fault, at 19 years old, that Eileen, at 49, bought something from him.

I am livid with her.  

So, I have taken my shower, loaded the dishwasher, and threw a load of clothes in the washer.  Must scoot.

Love,

Trish

Hi Ladies,

Sorry I haven't posted in awhile.  I was depressed Wednesday but I'm feeling better today. Yesterday I went to Sams club and took my friend to the pharmacy. Today I'm just chilling at home. I will exercise after I eat lunch. I'm just so tired of this cold weather.  I'll probably call my dad and see how he is doing. I cooked chicken and dumplings yesterday so I have dinner already made for a few days.

Mary sorry for feeling blue today.

Vickie  glad you sold the truck. Hopefully the lake house sells quickly. 

Cindy praying for you and your mother.

Everyone have a good day.  Thoughts and prayers for everyone. 

Love and hugs,

Yvonne

Hello to the ladieson OFF.

I know I don't post that much. Ladies, you are on my mind and I think of you.

Mary, what is done is done. The past is the past. Please do not beat yourself up for decisions you have made in the past. The only way to go is forward. I know it is frustrating to think that as a grown woman sometimes we don't make the best choices for ourselves. You are doing so well with the diet. Sorry about the weather there. It isn't all roses here in FL either. It is raining. And raining some more today. And when the temp goes south of 60, we all freeze to death. I was born in CT and went through some bitter winters but have lived in FL since 1972.

Vicki, I am happy to hear you have sold the truck. It is done, over with and one less thing for you to worry about. Glad you cleaned your closet, LOL. Good luck with the real estate agent.  About the ticks, eww just eww. We have problems with all bugs, as I am sure you do too in Texas. Even in the winter we see the palmetto bugs. I haven't seen one since I have lived here, but we have ants, and their cousins, their cousins relatives. I hate ants, they love to bite me.

Cindi, I am glad you are able to monitor your mother's health like a hawk. I really hope she is OK. She will be in my prayers. How dare the insurance companies not admit her! My mom has been gone for over twenty years due to a stroke. My sister and I took her to the ER and we were told she wasn't having a stroke. This was in the mid nineties. I knew she was having a stroke because she was slurring her speech, had trouble walking and many other symptoms. After about five hours of her saying she would not go to the hospital we picked her up physically and took her. And they released her! The net morning she could not move her arms off the couch. We took her back to the ER but she was in bad shape by then and it was too late.

Eileen stay warm,

Trish, sorry about the backbiting with the pseudo Christians. Some can be such hypocritical, catty people.

Trish sorry about you feeling blue and the stressful conversation with your mom.

I have learned to stay out of my family's life. A few days ago, my sister called. Her daughter's former boyfriend is staying there, he was arrested in MN for assault and battery on his ex. He claimed my sister's address as his and about a month ago he got drunk, broke his parole from MN and after getting roaring drunk my niece tried to calm him. He smacked her in the nose and bit her and went back to jail for breaking parole.

He got out, went to stay with his mom, had an ankle monitor. But the ex wife was visiting his mom so he had to go back to my sister's. My sis proceeds to tell me that he doesn't have his ankle monitor on because he cannot pay for it, got drunk again and ruined her birthday. So I called his mom and then his parole officer, which my niece supposedly already did. Now, I am out of it. I am so done. I love sis, but her problem, not mine. If it were me he would be out on the street with no bags, he would be homeless. (we can work on ourselves, but cannot try to fix others.) I told her I am done done done with the situation. Also my daughter thinks I am supposedly going to wipe her father's behind like she does. I now have to take him to the gym. And to the doctor. And anywhere he wants to go. She pays me for gas, but guess who has to deal with the aggravation. Me. He asked on the way home if I had checked the mail. YOU DO NOT WANT TO KNOW WHAT I SAID TO HIM. I reamed him a new arsehole. Ewww. I don't like him and if his daughter wants to baby him so be it. I will not. I will make his life very unhappy when I am pushed to do things for him. Sorry for the rant but once again, ewww. I will post one of his pictures on FB one day. God help me, I don't take them, but there was a picture someone took of him last Christmas.

I love you all, take care, my prayers to all of you. Sorry if I missed anyone, Connie, I am concerned because you have been very quiet.

Take care,

Arlene.