The Inevitable Has Happened

Jim passed last night.

I got a phone call at 4:30 Thursday morning that his condition had deteriorated.  Got to the hospital as soon as a I could and they told me he passed a tremendous amount of blood during the night.  His kidneys were failing, he had a massive infection and severe damage to his colon. They continued to search for the source of the blood, and he underwent two different procedures.  After the second procedure, the surgeon told me he would not survive a further procedure they had considered trying.  His liver doctor said he would not be able to get a liver based on the condition he was in....three different doctors spoke to me about different issues. Even if he survived the immediate problems, his future outlook was bleak.

Jim and I had issues, but we stuck together.  It was not a bed of roses, and he got his own room for a month, but he was too ill to live on his own so he came home.

I was lucky enough to be with him when he passed.  He was alone most of his life.  I told one of the nurses today, I gave him the best years of his life, and I believe that to be true.  With me, he had someone who loved him and would not leave him by the wayside.  When he needed someone, I was the one who was there for him until the end.

I know I'll be okay - Maura is already here for me, and my brothers will help me too.  But I already miss his presence here with me.  Some tough times ahead, but it'll be ok.

Mary

I'm so sorry Mary. I know that you gave him everything that you could so you can feel good about what you added to his life.

Mary,

I am so sorry.  I am happy you were with him when he passed.  

Mary,

I am so sorry to hear this...my thoughts & prayers are with you.

I understand what you are saying about the complexity of your relationship w/Jim. It was difficult & trying a lot of the time, but still there was an unexplainable core bond. You loved each other despite the problems and stayed together until the end. He may not have been able to fully express how he felt about your love & loyalty... especially given his past, but I am sure he died w/those feelings in his heart.

You know we are all here for you. Let us help in any way we can.

Oh Mary, I am so sorry.  I understand your feelings, and I can assure you that you have my prayers.  

Love you

Mary-

My thoughts go out to you today.  I am happy that you were able to be with Jim at the end.  You did good by him and you did give him the best years.  Thoughts and prayers to you today!

Cindi B

Mary,

My thoughts and prayers are with you. 

Carla

Thoughts and Prayers are with you.  May the Good Lord give you peace and comfort.

Dear Mary: you did your best by Jim and did everything a spouse would have done. You are grieving being alone, but take some time for yourself with Maura, and take a page from Vickie and her experience: keep busy and use your alone-time to heal , and come here for release, venting, crying, whatever you need ....

hugs,

Jen

(((Mary))) So sorry to read this today!!! On the better side of things Jim is no longer suffering. I am happy to hear you will be ok...we are all here if you need us.

HUGSSSSSSSSSS