TGIF

Good Morning Family.  

Be right back.  I forgot to get a refill of Coffee.

Back.

Thinking of Mary this morning.  If anyone has her mailing address I would like to send a card.

I watched the kids last night so Trent could go over to the church to pick his Fantasy Football team.  He put "Up" in the DVD player and made a kettle of homemade popcorn for us. What a cute movie.

Yesterday, I stopped at the farm stand here in town.  They had the most beautiful, huge heads of cabbage, and I got one to make stuffed cabbage.  Then I went to a meat store, where they sell meat from pasture raised farms in nearby states, and got the ground beef and pork to mix for the filling.  So, I have some cooking to do today.  

Yesterday, Colleen got upset with me.  When I was watching the kids on Wednesday, I got them Happy Meal toys at McDonalds when we bought ice cream.  She demands that I ask before I get them toys.  I need to talk to her, because this is not how I want our relationship to go.  This keeps happening, and I am tired of it.  If it were expensive, lavish toys, I would understand her feelings.  But, the last two times, months apart, it was $3.00 hula hoops, and cheap Happy Meal toys.  Because the kids sometimes argue about them, when they each have their own, and she can't handle their arguing, she blames me, and then tells me I'm purposely going against her wishes.  I forget, and do it spontaneously, because we're having fun together.  I have to find a time, when the kids aren't around, to talk to her about it.

Better scoot.  I have cooking to do.

Love all of you.

Trish

Trish...keep the toys at YOUR PLACE!!!!!!

Trish, I am sorry Colleen is making things so difficult with her rules about everything.  I agree with what others here have said that perhaps therapy is in order.  Something has to give.  You can't keep walking on eggshells -- that's not good for you.  I am praying that Colleen will be open to your discussion.

Cindy P.

Hi Trish!

I wanted to respond regarding your daughter, too, as I agree pretty much w/what everyone else has had to say...

Colleen has serious control issues. No surprise given she grew up in a household where she had little control over what was going on in her young life. You know she exhibits classic signs of an ACOA as a result. Vickie is right that she is just re-creating what she grew up in, but to the opposite extreme. The outcome will still be the same. Obviously, like most ACOA's & others seriously affected by someone's mental illness and/or addiction she thinks she is making positive changes. DENIAL is as strong for family members as it is for addicts. She could not be more wrong, but it sounds like at this point she has no clue about the impact of her controlling behaviors on anyone.

I have had to go thru substantial counseling for myself and w/my kids due to similar issues. Jazz's mom was the most difficult to deal with b/c of her own dual diagnosis & being the oldest...thus remembering the most from her childhood. Her dad dies this past winter & it just reopened old wounds between us I thought had been addressed.

I got her into joint therapy first out of our mutual concern for Jazz & later b/c we have a history of estrangements. She did not want our relationship to continue the way it was any longer than I did. So she was very open to trying again...and again...and again as needed.

Colleen's need to control is not just impacting her children, but also your relationship w/your grandchildren. That is not fair or healthy for you or them. Her behavior is equal to how I used to tried to 'control' what went on during visits when my girl's saw there dad. It was none of my business unless he was being negligent or abusive. Buying toys, treats or doing activities w/your grandchildren should be YOUR choice...not hers. Geez, does she interrogate them (or you) after each outing? Can you imagine if you are feeling like you are walking on eggshells how THEY must feel? I see an anxiety and/or panic disorder in their future if not worse.

I am sorry if this is blunt, but by now you know that is who I am. And I care about you. I also hear the guilt from your child-rearing years, but let that go. None of us were prefect mothers. One therapist told me if my girls still wanted me in their lives that was validation in of itself that I had done the best job I could. Colleen loves you, and I have no doubt she struggles inwardly about being so rigid. But God forbid anyone see those little cracks...so we don't acknowledge them ourselves.

Please take care. I know you are beating yourself up despite knowing the problem w/the control issues lie w/Colleen! 

Hello Kathy....I am just popping in to let you know I am thinking about you. I keep you in my thoughts and prayers daily.

I am just not up to posting any more then that. 

You know how much I care....I will be back...just not quite yet!

Love you much...HUGS....connie d

Thanks Kathy,

You haven't offended me at all.  I have thought the same things.  I don't beat myself up as much as I used to.  I just understand where her behavior is coming from.

Love ya.

Good morning Trish and everyone....

So sorry your daughter is being so naughty again. I am glad you are going to have a chat with her. You do an awful lot for her and your grandchildren. A little toy isn't going to hurt anything. That is what grandparents do!!

When Gracie is here, my daughter always tells me don't spend money on her and no toys. She always goes home with clothes and toys!!! My daughter always says, she feels like if she says "no" then I won't go too far overboard!! We just laugh about it!!

YUMMY cabbage rolls. I can't eat rice so I make the one in the Crock Pot. It is so good!! Enjoy them when they are done!!

As for me..... Not much going on. I know I can't go outside...temp is 90 and humidity is very high again!!

I did start a puzzle last night. I can't sleep so I needed something to do. I can't color for real long because of my hands. I color for awhile and take a rest then I work on the puzzle and take a rest. 

My sleep is so bad right now....INSOMNIA!!! I am getting so frustrated. I was up until 5:30 AM and slept until 11:00 AM. I was so tired last night I went to bed earlier like 10:30PM. I was starting to fall asleep and then I woke up and I mean woke up!!! I was so frustrated. I tried a few more times to sleep but it didn't work. I am going to call my psychiatrist and see what I can do about my Trazadone. I did up it like he said I could do. Maybe I just need to let it get into my system more.

I was talking to my neighbor, Miriam last night. We were sharing how much we like our coloring books. She went to check something and came out with a new color book. She did have two the same so she gave me one. Now I can go back and forth with each book!! 

SPEAKING of coloring...I found out who the "pencil" sender was...it was our sweet CARLA!! I am so grateful!! They work so much better then Crayola!! I did finish up the picture I started with Crayola and finished it the same way. The colors are too different to use the new ones on that picture. I love the FAN's. It looks so pretty!! 

I am so sad about Mary's news today. I think she knew this was coming. It doesn't make it hurt any less. I will continue to keep her in my thoughts and prayers each day. This won't be an easy time for her. I wish I had her address too. I need to look and make sure it isn't in my file. If anyone gets it could they please share. Thank you!

I am wishing you all a lovely day!

Prayers for our sweet OFF Family and their families.

God Bless you all!

Lots of love and hugs for all.....connie d 

Hi darlin....read with interest your troubles sleeping. I, too, have taken Trazadone for years and it works wonders for me.  About an hour before going to bed I take two Trazadone and two of the little blue sleepnaid pills from Costco.  I lay down and watch tv and can feel when I'm losing interest in TV and dozing off. Ni hit the bed and almost always fall fast asleep right away.  Last night I slept from 9:00!p.m. Until 7:30!this morning!!!  I had to take 3 trips to the bathroom during the night but always fall right back to sleep.  I an SO THANKFUL for good sleep, and alwayscwake up refreshed and no side effects from the meds.  Have a good talk with your doc and don't be afraid of this medication...I have benefitted from it for years!!  Good luck beautiful Connie!❤️❤️😎

Good morning Trish and OFF-

My thoughts are with Mary as well.  The next few months are going to be rough.

Trish I sympathize with you about the gifts for the grandkids.  It was spontaneous and it was something they all got so there was no favoritism.  My grandmother used to dote on me and ignore my brother so I could see if you were favoriting one child over the other but to spontaneously get them a small gift is not a big thing in my opinion especially if it was all the same.

I have a neighbor here in Maine who has not been allowed to have her grandchildren visit because the daughter has gone on an extreme paleo regime for even the children.  Last summer when the granddaughters came to visit my friend took them for an ice cream cone.  This resulted in no visits this year until this last week.  Daughter is a teacher and needed someone to watch the girls while she prepped for school starting next week.  Now this little six year old is programmed to say "is it gluten free is it paleo".  In my opinion Grandmothers should be able to spoil their Grandchildren within certain limits.

Speaking of spoiling, here's a tip for all of you.  The National Park Service is giving all 4th graders a free annual pass.  It's an effort to get children out into nature again.  The pass holder and their families can get into Parks for free.  Here's the link:  http://www.nationalparks.org/ook/every-kid-in-a-park

An Annual Park pass costs $80.00 so this is a wonderful deal for all of you who have fourth graders.

Deliciously cool here this morning.  So cool I want to put on long pants and socks.  Got my blood work done this morning.  I am a human pin cushion, she had to stick me three times to get all the vials filled.  The regain is to blame for my arm being hard to stick.  The back of my hands will now be the site of choice going forward.

So once the laundry is done and on the line to dry I'm heading to town to get groceries.  Tonight I am going to have a whole lobster for dinner.  My fish monger delivered it this morning from the coast of Maine.  I just need to pick up veggies and fruit.  Vickie has inspired me to look at fabric to recover my wicker cushions so I'll stop at the Marden's to see if they have any Sunbrella fabric.

Well that's all for me.  Julia I hope your recovery is going better.  Carla hope they have come up with a plan to deal with your needed revision.  Connie hope you're feeling better today.  Eileen hope the back pain is fading as the meds take effect.  Cindy P and Vickie-  hope you got some sleep last night.  Kathy - have you got your surgery date and have you started on your liquids.  I'm going back to liquids except for one chewable meal a day.  I know I've forgotten someone, sorry.  Thoughts and hugs to all of you!

Cindi B