Need to vent big time

I am so upset right now, I want to scream, and punch something.  

My sister took Mom back to her house over the weekend.  I told Mom that if it had been me, she'd still be at my sister's.  But, Sis doesn't have a backbone anywhere in her body.  Sis went back to her house Sunday.  I have trouble reaching Mom on her phone at her house, coz the line is bad, and she hardly ever hears her iPhone when it rings.  

I just got off the phone with Mom, and it turns out she had not taken her morning meds yesterday and today.  Her mind is all confused, and she's on the verge of tears, AGAIN.  Of course she's a mess, she's not taking her meds.  She forgets to take them.  She's 88 years old, and when my sister offered to get someone to check in on her daily, but Mom turned her down.  If I had the money, I'd have hired someone, where Mom wanted it or not.  Sis can't accept that Mom is not capable of making good decisions for herself.

So, I tried to call Sis, and her answering machine is turned off.  She has yet to get a cell phone.  I just want to scream right now.

Trish, I am so sorry for the frustration and angst you are experiencing because of your sister's actions.  I don't understand your sister -- her denial must be really, really strong. 

I'm praying for you and your family. 

Cindy P.

I feel your pain Trish I really do!!!!!!!! Another trip back maybe and set things up for home care for your mom?

Good Luck!!!!!

It looks like a very real possibility.  First, I need to get two new tires, and an oil change.  

I'm just so fed up with my sister right now.  She just doesn't have the guts to tell Mom like it is.  I'm the total opposite.  Sis falls apart whenever Mom does.  I grew up with Mom's crying, and then worked in a psych hospital, not to mention raising kids.  People cry.  Nobody ever died from crying.  Eileen, my sister, just joins them when they're crying.  That doesn't help anyone.  Argh.

My heart goes out to you Trish.  Caring for elderly parents is a job onto itself.  You have a very challenging situation.  I hope you can arrange care for your Mom - because it's obvious your Sister is of no help.

Mary.

So sorry Trish for this very sad situation. Wouldn't it be nice if your sister could see that mom really needs help? I will pray for a positive outcome for Mom. 

I tthink Sis knows Mom needs the help, but she can't go against Mom's wishes.  Even if it's Mom's in her best interest.  She is 63 years old, and still lets Mom boss her around.  I do what I damn well please, and Mom gets over it, eventually.  That's how I've always been.  That's how Eileen's always been with her.  

I have to call Mom again.

Love ya

Trish...I feel so bad for you! I am praying and praying.

I think your sister needs help too. Why would she leave your mother. This same thing happens every time. Your mom cannot be alone anymore...she is not safe. She should not be living with your sister as she has her own issues.

PLEASE call and have your mom admitted to a hospital to get her medications back where they should be. Have the social workers at the hospital find at least an assisted living place for her....although I think she is past that point. 

I am so sorry...I know your sisters are not backing you up. You are in a hard place right now. You can't keep doing this. You will collapse!! You are the only one with your mom's best interests at heart. 

I hope you can make the right decision ....this won't be easy. 

Love to you and hugs too...connie d

Trish-

Sorry you are having to deal with Mom again.  I think it's time that you called Adult Protective Services or whatever they have in PA for your Mom.  No offense, your sister is not caring for your Mom and you're not able to do it from afar.  You're Mom needs to be cared for and maybe an independent third party is the way to go.  I'll be thinking about you today.

By the way, hope your earache is better now.  I hate earaches!

Cindi B

Trish-

Mea culpea.  You wanted to vent and I jumped into fix it mode.  I can relate to caring for the aging parent without siblings who give a damn.  Hope you are able to get it all worked out.

Cindi