Happy 4th of July Everyone!!!!

Hello JO....Happy 4th of July!!!

Hope you are having a nice day!!

Love and hugs...connie d

Vic,

the human heart is a strong muscles, some stronger than others, but, as you know, the strength cannot overcome the lack of food or water.  I am so happy that he is unresponsive and not in pain that often accompanies starvation and dehydration.  The hospice folks have that one down to a science.  Get your strength wherever you can and grab your rest whenever there is an opportunity.  

When you said you inhale his scent, I remembered when my mother was passing and every second that I could be near her I would and I held her hand and smelled her skin and kissed her cheek...even at 10 years old, I knew that her time was limited and I must commit her to my memory so she would always be with me...to this day, Jergens lotion takes me right back to the living room of my childhood where I would rub Jergens on my mother's tired feet.  

I hope that you continue to have strength and that Butch remains pain free as possible...you are almost at the end, as sad as that may seem, you have made it this far and the next few hours will be the last of his suffering and your's too.  I know that sounds harsh, but you know how hard this last month has been for both of you...get some rest...and I hope his passing is quick and quiet and that you are able to walk away knowing you saw him to the end and beyond, really.  There's a song they sang at my brother's funeral....Go Rest High Upon that Mountain....I know it has significant religious connotations but sometimes no matter what we believe the mountain of rest is what we need....

Oh Jeannie, that is one of the songs I have picked for his funeral. I love that song.

Vickie...did you know that song was written by Vince Gill. He wrote it the night of his brother's death and sang it at the funeral. He still gets tears when he sings that song. It is a favorite of mine too. 

Prayers, love and oodles of hugs...connie d 

Vickie, 

As i read your post, i kept hearing the spiritual, Precious Memories. Is is how i think of loved ones passed. 

May the angels surround you both. 

Twinkle, we are playing that song too.

Not much more I can say that hasn't already been said other than I'm thinking of you and your family and I love you. Stay strong and get some rest. Let Butch know it's all right to go. Sometimes that's what he needs to hear to let go. 

Vickie,

I just wanted to stop in again to tell you that you are in my thoughts as I go thru my day & into the night...

You talking about wanting to smell & remember the smell of Butch reminded me of 2 things: 1) when my dad passed I kept his favorite robe that had his scent on it that included his favorite aftershave - Old Spice. I would pull that robe out and hold it to my face & inhale his scent long after he passed.

Yes, it was the last thing I had of him...material possessions gave me little comfort compared to that robe!

The 2nd was when Jim was hospitalized over the years...before they allowed you to spend the night. I used to go home and just hold & smell his pillow & cry from missing him so bad.

Do whatever your heart tells you to do during this time b/c it really does sound like time is short now. You will never regret it!

Hi Folks....started to post a few times, but kept getting interrupted.

Can't even remember my last post.....what day was it??    Wednesday, Jim went for another "tap" -- but it was done on an Out Patient basis, so we didn't have to go through the ER, which was a blessing.  They took nine liters of fluid this time, in the past it was five and eight liters. Seems like these taps will happen around every two weeks.  

Taylor is here for the rest of the weekend, so I'm happy about that -- she and Maura went to the fireworks last night, then Maura dropped her off here and will pick her up tomorrow afternoon.

Found a project to do in the yard - now that I've got the whole lawn mowed in the back, I'll be able to set up a table and some chairs -- and I found an old wood workbench behind the shed -- it's in good condition, but I'm going to stain it; I also found a slightly rusted folding chair, which I'll scrub down and spray with Rustoleum paint.   I have a shady spot for it - the side of the shed has an extended roof, so I can set up the seating area under the roof.  I've had my lounge chair out front -- but the sun  really beats down in front, so I'm glad I'll have this shady retreat.  Will set up my small grill there too.

Jim is driving me crazy food-wise.  Has me buy ground beef and sliced turkey to have for lunch and dinner, then decides he wants Papa Gino's Meatball sub for dinner.  For lunch he had left-over Chinese food that he had to get the other day.  My refrigerator and freezer are overflowing, and he keeps saying we should eat what we have before buying new -- but then the next day it's "Let's pick up some _________" (Fill in the blank).  I've accepted it in my mind now - I used to get really resentful about it -- now I just tell myself it's coming out of his check, not mine. That's the only way I can deal with it - otherwise I'd knock his block off.  I can stand on my own two feet...let him keep his own dam money to **** away on things we don't need.  Like a $2,500 motorcycle that sits in the shed -- he has no license, and isn't healthy enough to ride it anyway..he considers it "money in the bank" -- I tell him I'd rather have the cash in the bank, because if an emergency comes up, I would need cash -- I wouldn't want to be listing the stupid thing on E-Bay or try to barter with someone.....give me the money honey.    

So, I'm enjoying Taylor's visit -- later on we are going to play "school" -- I bought a Kindergarten workbook a while ago -- she is so excited about starting school this Fall !!  She's so smart I know she'll do great.  She just finished her "besgetti" dinner -- and looking forward to having one of the frozen yogurt pops we made earlier -- vanilla Greek Yogurt with chopped strawberries and peaches.

Special Prayers to Vick and Judy and Trish, and Eileen and Connie, etc...... seems like many of us are facing challenges......so great to be able to come here to share and get some support, as well as give it!!  So glad I discovered this special place full of special ladies!  

Mary

Hi Mary....so glad to see you back!!!

It sounds like you have been really busy!!! I am glad they got another tap done on Jim. Let him eat what he wants...he obviously still doesn't get it. 

That little table and chair sounds perfect for you to have outside. I am sure it will be really cute when you are done with it....good for you!!! 

Taylor is always a great distraction for you. I know how much you love to spend time with her. She is so cute and so smart!! She sure loves her grandma!!!   So you had "Besgetti"  for dinner. I bet the yogurt pops were good too...YUMMY!!

I am tired and am about to get ready for bed. Today didn't end up being such a great day. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

Have a fun night...love and hugs to you...connie d