Anxiety problems
So last night I knew I had to get to sleep early because I had a doctor's appointment early in the morning. I went to bed and had the weirdest dream ... saw you know who standing at my bedroom door like a giant shadow looming. Woke up in a sweat and had problems getting back to sleep. I hadn't taken the Xanax I got prescribed until that point, but I took one then ... sat up and read for awhile hoping to dull my brain a bit and maybe go back to sleep ... eventually did but I had the dream again and bolted upright. Eventually got about four hours of unrestful sleep. Tried to take a nap this afternoon when I got back but the idiots upstairs were blaring their stereo. Plus, I'm so edgy everytime I heard a loud noise, I jumped. (And the Blue Angels are practicing, so there was the airplane noises outside, too.)
I thought I was getting better but obviously I have a lot of issues yet. I know my problem isn't as big as what Vickie is going through but I had to vent somewhere, and this is my safe place.
Hello Eileen...I feel so bad for you. I am sorry you are having these night terrors. They are horrible...I have been there!! I hope you continue to work with your therapist. You have quite a ways to go in your treatment. That incident was way more traumatic then you thought it was. I keep praying for you.
You work tonight again don't you? I hope it goes well.
This is all of our safe place...we can and will help each other in anyway we can.
You can't judge whose situation is worse. Vickie's is really bad but so is yours. They are totally different situations. Neither one was something either of you would have chosen.
I am here for you...anytime....we all are. Just keep letting us know what we can do to help. Vent when ever you have the need to....we care.
Have a good night...love and gentle hugs to you...connie d
Eileen...I so hope you can get a decent nights sleep tonight after work. Maybe you should take one of your anxiety meds if you are feeling jumpy. They would help with that and also help you sleep better tonight. You don't want to drag around when your brother is here. Just a thought!
I am sure you are very tired now that tonight is your 8/8 shifts. I would be worthless!!
The Blue Angels are so awesome but the constant noise would get to me....they are loud!!!
I hope you can somehow have an easier night at work.
Eve asked me to friend her on FB so I did. 
Love and hugs to you...connie d
Eileen,
You have classic PTSD. It takes a long while to get over the dreams and the what- I-should-have-done or what-I-should-have-said scripts that just run through our minds. I think the dreams are the worst, though, because you can sort of get the scripts out of your mind for a little while but the dreams come out of no where. I hope your therapists can help you with all of this or your doctor can provide you with some options. I know that his mother is kind but I wonder if you shouldn't cut all ties with that family because communication with her may be feeding your disorder. And your issues are important. That's one thing about this board that we can all agree...we have room for discussion and room for compassion so while we love Vic and her girls and want to make sure that we are here for her, there's room for you too and room for Connie and Judy and even my big ole whine butt and everyone else. So please, don't hesitate to post about things...this is, after all, a support board...we support each other no matter what....And, after all these years, we have finally made room for every one...so please use our ears.
Eileen: If "he whose name shall not be mentioned" harms his Mom, there is nothing you can do about it and it is not your problem.
Others here have mentioned it feeds your PTSD, so maybe best to cut ties. As long as your girlfriend network can be relied on to let you know if he is on the move so you can take precautions if need be. You are also super tired and the mind plays tricks when not refreshed from adequate rest. Take your meds tonight and try to 'zen' your thoughts and relax your mind and body before bedtime and hopefully you won't have repeat nightmares.
Hugs
Jennifer
Eileen, so sorry to hear you are having anxiety attacks. I had them bad in my 20's, but thru therapy I was able to get them under control. I would not wish them on anyone! I was taught to visualize while in the midst of an attack (like I was at the beach or a favorite type event) and to do deep belly breathing. Sometimes it helped...sometimes I was so anxious I could not concentrate to even do those simple tasks. Therapy will help...you may need to increase your sessions for a period of time.
I agree contact w/his mom may keep the anxiety going as she is a link to the event. On a conscious level you may feel the relationship is fine, but your dreams are telling you something else. You may want to journal & see if contact w/her or other things set you off days or weeks later.
I hope things calm down for you. So unfair you tried to help an idiot & wound up hurt yourself. Take care!
Kathy
