Monday Monday
Vickie My heart hurts for you. This is such a hard time for you, Your emotions being all over the place is very normal. I continue to pray for you both. that Butch finds relief from his pain and that both of you find your peaceful place and spend some beautiful time together. I wish I could say or do more.
Liquid Morphine is an effective pain reliever.
So so sorry Butch is in so much pain. And you are in pain because you are seeing him suffer so much, and you are losing your beloved. Words cannot convey how sorry I am. Take time to rest, to breathe and to just do for yourself if you can. This has got to be so painful. Bless your heart Vicki. Sending love and prayers to you and Butch. My heart hurts for you.
Oh Vickie!
I can't tell you how incredibly sad your post has made me! I feel SO bad for both you & Butch...
I pray that by taking this step both of you will find a measure of relief and peace with each other & within yourselves. They should be able to help Butch with his pain, but I do suspect/agree that liquid morphine or anything else they administer will probably put him into a deep sleep most of the time. I believe they go over all this with you. Again, I agree that you need a different kind of relief as his wife & primary caregiver & finding peace amidst chaos is difficult. It is good the family has been put on notice, & you and your daughters can now spend the time with him you all need without having to worry about 'entertaining' anyone else. Sorta like a honeymoon...the beginning of a marriage...this is also a special time for you & Butch...you both need each other as his time draws near...
I cannot begin to imagine the emotions you are feeling...I think I would be terrified & beyond consolation. Don't feel you need to be on here to update or explain unless you need to step outside the hugeness of what is going on for some kind of relief & support. I hope that is what we all can offer you during this time.
Take care.
Kathy
Hello Vickie....I had to comment to you....my heart hurts for you. I am so sorry. I knew this was coming of course. I have been praying that you found someone to help. I am glad they got a man for Butch at Hospice. Some men just prefer that. That will be much more comfortable for Butch.
Please let Corey do the work...you should be there just to talk and listen and hold Butch's hand.
I don't want you to take this the wrong way but....his family needs to step aside. If they have all seen him then that should be it. You need to be strong and let them know Butch has such limited energy and they aren't the only ones that want to see him. This last week with all that company just wore him and you out. They should know better. At the most an hour is long enough. Especially when there are that many that want to see him. Do this for Butch and for You!!! Your last memories of Butch shouldn't be a house full of company every day for way too many hours. For heaven's sake they are adults and should know better then to stay more then an hour if that!!They should have been there helping you all along. Butch would have appreciated that a lot more then he does with what they are now!! You have to say " NO," sweetie you really do. Pick two days a week for 2-4 hours allowing 30 minutes each couple. If you can't tell them I can be very charming and I would be happy to contact them for you. PLEASE....what Butch needs now is YOU and his children and grandchildren. They shouldn't stay and expect you to make meals and such. I know they will understand. They can see what this has done to you. NO babysitting either!!! I am not trying to be a wicked witch or a nag....I just love you and I know you want time with your husband. That is not being selfish. What is selfish is people coming and staying hours expecting you to provide for them!!! When they call to come over you have to learn to say .....today isn't a good day....these are the days and the times to visit....no more the 30 minute visits. Neither Butch nor you can handle any longer then that.
If you don't feel like you can tell them, post a note on Care Pages....they should be able to understand that.
Call if you want to talk. No lectures...I am a good listener.
Sending more prayers and love and hugs...connie d
Vickie, I read this earlier when I was at Starbucks and wanted to answer, but it's difficult on my tablet. I know this is hard for you, but it's Butch's decision and a tough one for both of you to make. So sad. A year ago you guys were in Belize and things looked so promising for retirement. How things change. I'm so sad for you. I hope he can get sufficient pain relief to make him comfortable. Vickie, I want to give you a big hug. 
A high school friend of mine is going through the same thing with her sister. Take care of yourself, too. I love you, sistah.
Ladies,
Today is just a quick drive by. But, I do have a very funny story. I have a friend who is like crazy about popping boils, bumps, or anything really. So, today, in the very middle of my back, I've had this horrible itch...I have tried to scratch it and cannot even get relief from using my back scratcher. So, my friend dropped by to have a cup of coffee and I said, look, can you put some lotion in the middle of my back and see if my shirt has something biting me, so we closed my office door (I told my student workers what was going on...we share way too much in here sometimes), and my friend looked at my back and she said, holy cow...well, she said holy **** you have a huge sebaceous cyst right in the middle and I said, don't mess with it and she said, look, once I pop it, you will immediately quit itching and I said, well, go get paper towels and turn on my fireless candle burning thing and she did and so she had another friend come over and she video taped the operation they did on my back and holy crap....I swear they got a quart jar of junk out of that thing on my back that wasn't even swollen out....they wanted to post it on youtube but I said no way...I did send it to my DH and he said I ruined his lunch. LOL. I also called my doctor and he called me an antibiotic to take and in a week, he will check it out. Let me just say, my friend is a freak about popping stuff and she begged me to let her check it out in a week too so if there is anymore popping to be done, she wants to do it....I told you guys she is a freak.
Welcome to my crazy assed world.
