Sunday It Is!

Hello Fran....so glad you popped in today...you have been missed!!

You are doing so great with your exercise!!! Only 45 to go.....you will do it!! That last goal can sure be harder then the rest...very stubborn!! Remember muscle weighs more then fat!!

That is nice that you are taking your roommates to the cemetery. I was just thinking about that yesterday. I am the only one in the family that put out flowers for my parents. I need to get a ride lined up for that real soon. 

Isn't it great that you can get out and do so many things now with your WLS. Congrats on getting off of your BP meds!!! I am almost 8 years out and still take a water pill. My ankles just love to swell if I don't. 

I am so proud of the hard work you are doing to get around so well with your cane.  I still have my walker because of balance issues. I can walk with a cane if I have someone next to me. My doctor just won't let me quit using the walker.  I do fall so maybe one day I will be back to just a cane! 

Have a good rest of the day....love and hugs to you...connie d

Good morning Carla, Trish, Jeannie and Kathy and all my sistas yet to come!

"It's raining, it's pouring, the old man is snoring . . . !"

Wow, after so many years of drought, I don't think there's a person in South Texas who isn't thanking God for the rain, but we're all going to have to grow webbed feet soon!

Okay, so let me start by explaining about the doctors and the chemo.  Last week we went to see our LOCAL doctor, not the docs at MDA.  We had the long and frank talk about chemo, it's side effects, and when it's MAYBE time to stop it. It was good to get a different perspective on the situation, and it was good to get some candor from an MD who is not an oncologist.  I have nothing against the doctors at MDAnderson; they are doing everything they can think of to give my husband more time.  BUT--and this is where it gets sticky--they definitely have a "rah rah cheerleader" mentality there.  Any little improvement is seen as a big success.  You can't get them to tell you the ACTUAL situation because they are determined not to give up.  

So when we had the scans done a few weeks ago, we were told that we had positive results from the new chemo treatments.  But when I showed the report to Dr. V, his take on it was it was really a very slight result.  Yeah, it was positive, but no where near what Butch would need to actually go into remission.  

So the question then becomes one of quality of life vs. quantity of life.  Everyone knows that Butch is terminal.  The docs at MDA are not trying to "cure" him.  They told us that.  They were hoping that he would go into remission again with the new chemo.  We were told it is inevitable that the cancer will come back, even if he does go into remission.  The only question was: How much time might he gain by doing the chemo?

But every time he has the chemo, I think it's going to kill him.  This is not an exaggeration.  He is not thriving.  He is barely living.  He spends all day sleeping in the bed or in the recliner.  He cannot eat.  There's no joy for him in everyday activities.  He has no will to even plan what he might do next.  This is not the man I married.  And it's really no way to live.  

This is what I mean when I say it's time to think about quality of life.  From what I can tell, when you stop the "extraordinary life saving measures" and go into Hospice care, the entire focus changes.  Instead of trying to "cure" you, Hospice tries to enhance your remaining time.  They are all about patient care, patient comfort, and quality of life.  They do their best to eliminate pain for the patient.  It's a completely different mindset.

I think my husband is close to being ready to give up.  Yes, he wants to go back to MDA next week and try another chemo.  But I also believe he's trying to make a decision about hospice.  I cannot make the decision for him; I can only support him.

Oh, dear, Chris and the boys just arrived.  I have to close now.  I'll go ahead and post this and try to get back again later.

Love you all!

Vic...that IS a HARD HARD Choice you BOTH have to make....My heart goes out to you both...My Prayers continue for you both also....HUGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Vic, 

You and Butch are in such a tpugh place.  Perhaps a better way to think of hospice is not about giving up. It is about moving on, moving on to the next phase of care, one focused on enjoy the days you two have and preparing for the next new phase in your life here and his on another level. 

Just a thought. Either way, this is not easy and your OFF family is here to love and support you. 

Hello Vickie....webbed feet huh? You are funny!!

I wouldn't want to be Butch and know I had to pick the time for hospice.  On the other hand if this next chemo is that awful for him, then he may need you/doctor to step in and help him with that decision.  Like you said quality of life is important too.It breaks my heart to know this is where things are right now. I definitely agree with what you have said about the Doctor and MDA's and the reasons for what they do. Butch is so weak and sleeping all the time, and not eating. What will the next round of chemo do to him/ for him? I think you need to ask him what he wants. Just my opinion. I have dealt with Hospice with several family members and friends. Comfort and Care. There is no easy way to make this decision. God Bless you both. I love you and Butch so much. I am here and you are right here in my heart.  More prayers.   

Have a nice time with the boys and Chris. I pray for them and your Carrie every day!! 

How is your mom doing? When is her surgery? 

I hope you take a small portion of each day to yourself. Breathe deeply and exhale slowly. I hope that relieves some of the stress you are holding in your body. Admire your beautiful flowers. 

My heart is sending so much love and hugs to you...connie d 

Vickie, I agree with everyone else. You need to do something for you once in awhile. And maybe you need to get some better drugs, too. You are stretched thin trying to be superwoman. Take time for yourself. Get someone in to look after Butch. Go out to lunch or a movie. Have a massage. Think about no one but yourself for once. See that girlfriend, but on neutral territory ... out of the house. See a counselor ... you need someone to talk to, cry to. 

Vickie, again, my heart just goes out to you and Butch both.  It's a heartbreaking decision and I cannot imagine being in your shoes.  All I can do is send you my prayers and all the good energy that I can muster. I agree with Eileen and everyone here, and hope you will plan to do something for yourself. You need yo keep up your strength for the difficult times ahead.  And you deserve to have a few hours of enjoyment!  Maybe Another concert?? 

Hugs to you!

Hi Carla and my OFF family:

I got up at 7 a.m. and couldn't go back to sleep, so finally got out of bed and made my coffee protein shake. Had a new tub of Pure Protein vanilla. Now, I've had this before, but this was one I got at Sam's that had Omega 3s and some other stuff ... it was so gritty, not at all like the regular stuff. I hated it. If anyone wants it, I'll send it off to you. I used one scoop. Just PM me your address and it's yours. I'll go to Target and get their cheapo protein (which is pretty good) and use that instead. 

Carla, enjoy the trip ... have fun with Vinnie while Lizzie moves. I need to schedule a mammogram sometime soon. 

Talked with mom this morning; she was chatty at least. She was hoping the aide would come and take her down to communion (they have it in the morning in the basement of the center). Otherwise, she'll watch Mass on TV. My brother Gary is going to visit her today. 

I'm feeling the rain today, too. I've got a headache and my knees hurt. It's  going to be a long day if I can't get rid of the headache. I've already taken something that didn't work.

There's a crisis here at home: I'm running out of coffee!  I opened up my bag of coffee this morning, and there was about three scoops left, and since I use about a scoop in each K-cup, that leaves one. Need to stop and buy some on the way into work. I'd be in big trouble without coffee.

Not much else going on, no drama. Last night was a little hectic at work, but I got done mostly on time, other than one page because of a late game by our minor league baseball team, the Evansville Otters. 

Well, getting very sleepy. Think I'm going to get some more water and try to nap. Have a good day.

Hello Eileen...I hate all protein powders....they leave a bad taste in my mouth. I have tried so many kinds. I drink Boost Glucose Control unless I feel like I need more protein then I will drink a Premier Protein low sugar. Premier has twice the protein and less calories. I get my Boost paid for by my insurance. I have to buy my own Premier. I don't drink Premier very often. 

I hope your mom got to church or at least saw it on the TV. They will bring her communion won't they? They do here anytime you want it. She will look forward to her visit with Gary.

I knew you would be hurting today...we are on the same PAIN schedule these days!! I hope you got a nice nap in because you sure did get up early.

You scared me...CRISIS....OH NO!! Then I read on and noticed it was your coffee...LOL!!! Good one!!!

Have a good rest of the day...love and hugs to you...connie d

Good morning Carla and everyone....

I think you come out a head getting Vinnie...good for you...there is only one of a kind Vinnie!! I hope the move goes well for your daughter and SIL. 

I hope you come out with nothing wrong in your physical. If they do I guess that is a reminder as to why we need yearly physicals!!

As for me....I am not worth a hoot today. All these storms with rain and the pressure constantly changing are not so good to me. I know I shouldn't whine as some of you have things so much worse. I stayed up until about 1:00 AM watching the weather. There were tornado's spotted not far from me. The winds were so strong. A few times I could actually see some of our newer trees bending almost to the ground!! The rain was blowing sideways. The force on the windows were so har****hought they would break. Glad that is done for today. Tomorrow I may not even get out of bed. High today 73...high tomorrow 44...here it comes again!!!  

I walked outside for a little while, it felt so good. I sat on a bench and enjoyed the sun. I had a nice talk with the Lord. 

Otherwise not much else happening here.

I wish you all a beautiful and peaceful day. 

Prayers as always for our loving OFF Family and their families.

Loads of love and bushels of hugs...connie d