UPDATE ON MOM

OK here is all I know right now...her arm is in a sling, and they are keeping her for observation to see if they can find out why she is dizzy so much.

She WILL NOT go to a nursing home NO WAY!!!!! My older brother lives with her and takes care of her. She refuses to go to a rehab when needed.......how would she go live in one???? Yeah. SO.......they also looked into home care for her...they say she makes to much money. HUH????????????????????? She is VERY LOW INCOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Where they get she has too much money is beyond me!!!!!!!!! They won't even give her food stamps!!!!!!!! I do not know what she tells them when they ask her questions........but anyhow she is in hospital and being looked after there right now. My brother had his hand operated on a few weeks ago and that  is NOT healing right and I am not sure what all is going on with him except more surgery possible???? My sister is also in poor health.....my younger brother he works ALOT......me.....I live in OHIO. I am close to a nervous break down.  NO MY MOM WILL NOT GO TO A NURSING HOME NOR ASSISTED LIVING SHE WILL DIE IN HER OWN HOME. SHE WON'T EVEN COME LIVE WITH ME. END OF STORY.

Thankyou all for the thoughts and Prayers..........

Well, then, you've got to give her no other choice. We did that to mom. This is what is happening. You have the choice to go to this home or that home. No other choice. You can't live at home anymore. These home health aides weren't taking proper care of her. I suspect it's the same with your brother. Don't know how she makes too much money ... are they taking your brother's income into account (I don't know, just asking)? A social worker may give her no choice. Just my two cents' worth. Don't get angry with me, I've just gone through this with my mom. As much as we would have liked to have her stay in her home, it wasn't safe there for her. And those home health aides were a big drain on what she had socked away (she doesn't have much left). Where she is now is much better, although she may not think so all the time. But she does nothing different than she did at home ... watch TV, read, eat, etc. 

Hope your mom gets better and gets some good advice that she will listen to.

So hard to do what you've done.  I know from experience. But I hope you'll continue to hang in there Eileen.

Judy,

I am sorry to hear of your mom's situation. As far as income, if your brother lives with her, they re probbly looking at tbdir combined income. I think it sucks, but that's what they did to my sister when she and her daughter shared a place. 

Prayers continue. 

Sending prayers your way Judy. I can understand your feeling of being overwhelmed between your Mom's health issues and all that's going on at work. Yikes!! I hope your brother is able to help out after his hand injury is resolved. I hope Richard is helping you deal with everything.

Hi Mary....Rick is Judy's guy.....Richard is Eileen's roommate. There are so many names to remember!! LOL!!!

Love and more hugs....connie d

Judy...all I am saying....because of the tone in this message...is I wish you and your mom the best. Sorry you were so angry with some of us. We were just mentioning things as so many of us have been through this already. We have said the same to Vickie. She has always had the choices to make herself.

Prayers for you and your mom...love and hugs....connie d

Judy, 

many of us have been where you are, but still, we know that everyone's situation is different.  

In the final incident/ fall at her home, my mother was sent without choice to a rehab facility for a few weeks so she could regain her balance.  And she worked hard to recover - she was determined to not die in a home.  My father had died in a nursing home, and both my mother's parents too.  She just refused to consider giving up her place and I can understand that. But my sister and I knew my mother couldn't live alone anymore. Though we would have forced the issue if needed, we knew it would be best if my mother  somehow made the decision to stay without being forced. We prayed without ceasing, and also worked with my mother's medical team to so she could stay in rehab longer than 3 weeks. The staff was lovely and took wonderful care of her, and like a miracle, my mother ended up saying she was too scared to live alone.  So, she signed the admission papers herself.  And she told us just before she died that her time in the nursing home was some of the happiest months since we (her kids) were young.  

We were profoundly lucky and, even with God's help, this rarely happens.  My father and my grandparents had to be forced in against their wills and it was horrible.  Ask Eileen or any of the others here.  But I am praying that you do get some help here, as what you and your family are facing is beyond difficult.  So heartbreaking.  

And Judy, I was the "out of state" daughter and know how incredibly hard it is to deal with all this from a distance.  Please, please, please do whatever you can to find some peace and calm.  Sounds impossible but it is vital that you stay healthy.  You can't help anyone if you get sick.  

Do take care. Hugs and prayers to you.

Christine

Oh, sweet Judy!  I have no experience in this area, so I'll just say I love you and I'm praying for you and your mom.  You are always in my heart, sweet sista.