Slippery Saturday
Hi my OFF family:
I've been kinda busy lately ... we've had early deadlines all week because of the crappy weather. And despite that, I haven't even gotten my paper today. We had freezing rain last night. My boss sent me home early last night because of it. It was slick out there, but I drove slowly and got home safe. I was really worried about falling because the sidewalks were very slippery, especially at the apartment complex. More crap coming today. And early deadlines again. Plus I have lots of pages and didn't get a whole lot done last night because I didn't have copy to read to prepare. I could just put things on the page.
So how is everyone? I know Vickie has had her hands full with Butch being sick.
I will have my days off changed next week. One of my coworkers has to go in for a heart cath next week. He's the other sports copy editor. He's in his 60s and a very big guy. He had a stress test and didn't do well on it. So he now has the heart cath; if that isn't good, he may need surgery.
I've been watching Turner Classic Movies the past few days: today, it's been "The Ladykillers," and "A Day at the Races." Funny stuff.
Came home last night to barbecue chicken and green beans with bacon. ... very good food. Of course all I could handle was a piece of chicken and a scoop of beans, but it was all very good. Richard is a very good cook.
Well, that's all for now. Have a good day. 
Hello Eileen and my sistas,
Well, another day in the hospital. Butch is not feeling much better as far as the pain is concerned. He just had a visit from the doctor and frankly he got a pretty good talkin' to. The doctor told him he needs to get up and sit in the chair and walk around the floor instead of just lying in bed all day. In other words, if he wants to get better and have the new chemo he has to fight.
Well I thought he would respond to the challenge but he really hasn't. I tried to get him to sit up in the chair but he just won't do it. He says he needs to sleep. Well maybe. But I think he's giving up.
So I told him, "maybe we need to have a little talk." I told him if he didn't want to do all the chemo etc he didn't have to. It's his body and his life and his choice. That I would love him and be by his side no matter what his decides. So he said he wants to go through at least one of the new chemo treatments before he decides. Well then he has to get up! The doctor said he can't have the treatment until he is ambulatory. I don't know how to light a fire under him.
This is so frustrating for me. I want to be sympathetic to his pain but I also want to make him get up and TRY. But do I have that right? I haven't experienced what he is feeling. I haven't had a serious life threatening disease. I haven't experienced the type of pain he's going through. Maybe he's doing the best he can. I don't want to push him beyond what he's capable of. It's hard to know what to do.
Well as usual I'm the black spot in the thread these days. Thank you all for supporting me and loving me anyway. I love you all.
Vickie
Vickie, you are not the black spot ... you have to vent somewhere. We love you back. Please feel you have this place to come.
I think giving Butch the choice is a good idea. It is his body. I know it will be hard on you if he says no, but then you'll know what to expect. I had a friend whose father did the same thing ... he had pancreatic cancer and let it go until it was end stage. Then he decided he didn't want anything done. She was upset as he went to the hospital and died. But it wasn't her choice; it was his.
Vickie, you know we love you and support you.
Vickie,
I cannot imagine how you are feeling and how hard this is on you. My mother died of cancer when I was very young like 10 or 11 and I remember the day she gave up and the day she said, I cannot do this anymore. I remember begging god to let her live....just heal her body like he had done so many others; then I begged the doctors on those days they came into her room and us little kids were there; but then one day, she said to me, I cannot fight any more. Let's spend Christmas together and it was July and she said, one more Christmas; I said, Christmas is in December and she said, no, baby, I won't be here for Christmas in December, let's have one more Christmas in July and we did. She became bedridden after that Christmas in July and by November, she was in the hospital, slipped into a coma, and she died Dec. 3ird. Before she died, my prayers changed from please heal my mother to please take this pain from her....doctor please give her more pain medication; god please let her die so the suffering will end...Vic, my heart breaks for you for the decisions you must make and the prayers you must be sending for a miracle; for comfort; for his dignity....like I said, I cannot imagine what all you are going through...my mother died when I was a child; if something happened to my husband, I don't know...please don't feel like you are bringing anyone down; we live too far to be with you so when you let us in through your posts, we can encourage you and let you know that we are here for you on both the good and the bad days.
Hi Vickie....you are not the Black Spot. We love hearing from you good or not so good. I am always going to be available for you!
This is your safe place!!
I think Butch is just plain worn out from the pain. I am sure he wants to get up but thinking of the pain and trying to move around just scares him. Think of how much of his energy he will use moving from one place to the other. I think he is doing all he can right now. Maybe later he will feel a little better and will try to move around.
I know it must be frightening for you. He does need to move around before anything else. He knows what will happen if he doesn't. I will continue to say prayers that that horrible pain goes away.
You just hang in there and do what you can do. Don't be so hard on yourself. God is the only one that really has these answers.
God Bless you and Butch. I love you both!!
Loads of love and bushels of hugs....connie d
Dear Sweet Vickie:
It's good that you voiced the fact that the choice is Butch's as far as his treatment goes. I can't imagine what it would be like to be in excruciating pain for months on end. You and Butch have had such a rough road for a long while now. You are not the black spot on this thread. We all care about you so much. I'm glad you can come here and share what's on your heart.
We had to get up early because hubby had a meeting to go to this morning. This was especially hard for him because he was up all night long with a migraine. I can see a nap in our future for today. :)
A friend of mine had to put one of her dogs down yesterday. The dog had some serious health issues for a long time and they finally got the best of him. I feel for her. She does have another dog at home which helps some, I guess.
Well, I've got to order some mail order medications so I'd better get to it.
Cindy P.
Hi Cindy....sorry you had to get up so early this morning. I feel bad for your hubby that he was up all night with a migraine headache. I hope it is gone now. I have a friend that gets them all the time...I know how she suffers through them. Sending a prayer for him.
Another dog over the Rainbow Bridge. That is sad as they are such a part of the family. I am glad she still has one at home.
Have a beautiful day my sweet friend...love and hugs....connie d
Thank you, Connie (for the prayer for my hubby). He actually went a few days w/o a migraine before getting the bad one last night. He gets so many it's a surprise when he has more than a day w/o one. It makes me sad. He's been to so many specialists over the years. No one seems to know how to stop them or at least knock them way back.
The sun is shining here but tonight through Monday we are expecting a big wind storm. We'll just batten down the hatches so to speak and wait it out. A little wind is nothing like what some of you have had this winter.
I hope you have a good rest of the day and that you sleep well and awake completely refreshed in the morning. 
Cindy P.
Sweet Vickie,
I can't imagine what you are going through with this situation with Butch. I pray he doesn't give up yet. It's so hard to watch a loved one suffer.
I am praying, even if I don't post it it everyday.
Love,
Trish
Albert Schweitzer
