Guess What Day it Is. Hump Day.

Hi Everyone,

Still at Mom's. She sees psychiatric nurse today. Tomorrow we go to my sister's two hours south. 

I am am running errands and making phone calls. 

Thanks for praying. I sure need them. 

Love and Prayers 

trish

Hi Trish and my OFF family:

Trish, hope things work out for your mom and you can get her the help she needs. I know what you're going through. My mom is so much better where she is now (I know it's different cir****tances; my mom's problems are different from yours.). 

It's cold here. 16 degrees and feels like -2. Brrr. I'm staying inside today. Getting the last of the Christmas decorations down, just in time for Easter. We're going to eat leftovers today. Richard's working on getting as many benefits as he can.

Other than that, not much happening. Just vegging out, relaxing. I pulled out one box from the closet and found my Bluetooth. Knew it had to be somewhere in the bedroom/closet area. It's charging now ... it was dead. After I found it, I had to find the charger. 

Well, have a good day.

 

Hi Eileen...I found my Blue tooth and now need to look for the charger. I think I know where it is, I just haven't had time to look yet today!

I kept thinking about your wonderful dinner last night!! I decided to have shrimp and some cooked carrots...delicious!!! I know yours was much better but at least I had shrimp!! 

LOL...Christmas Decorations....you were a bit behind...I know you were in pain and such...I am just teasing you. 

I am glad you are just vegging out. Do you work tonight? How is the pain today? With these temps I am sure you are hurting.

Is Richard on disability now? I thought he was trying to get it.

As for me...my cleaning fair was here at 10:30 this morning...I was still in my pajama's making phone calls and things. They were supposed to call and check to see if earlier was okay. No one called. I had to hurry and get dressed as I need to get some errands run. I needed to return some protein powder...I tried the samples...yuck!!! I give up, I have tried so many powders and they leave an after taste and they are gritty. I am just going to continue to do what I have been doing. I get plenty of protein in every day.

I pray things are going well for Butch and Vickie. I always feel like I am holding my breath waiting to hear from her. I love you Vickie...for always! I know it is hard to keep up with everything she needs to do, and it is hard to get everything done in a day. I understand. Lots of prayers for them and their family! 

I am all mixed up now that we left so early for errands. I woke up early thank goodness. I still have some calls to make and a couple cards to get sent out. I always have pretty structured days so I feel all out of whack!! 

Wishing you all a lovely day!!! 

Prayers for our fabulous OFF Family and their families. Some special prayers going out as well. 

 

 

Nope, Richard has applied for disability, now he has to wait 90 days for them to process everything. He had a long phone interview yesterday. He's also applied for food stamps, Medicaid and a bunch of other stuff. 

Christmas stuff is all done. I got all of it in one plastic tote so now I'm going to clean out the other tote and find some place to put it and clean out  some other stuff. 

Richard is making garlic bread and then I'm going to have leftovers. 

I'm not in too much pain today, just if I bend over too much or move too much. I got most of the stuff I needed to get done. I want to move around my bobbleheads back to their correct places, but that's it. 

 

Good afternoon Trish and everyone....

Trish...I am glad you posted so I know everything is alright. I am sure you are having a hard time with your mom. I am so sorry about that. I pray the appointment with the Psychiatric Nurse goes well. I will keep praying!!

Love you...HUGS....connie d

Quiet here so far. I was up most of the night -- like so many others here, I'm a victim of insomnia. My mind just races all the night, thinking about various "issues", or aching with pain. And add depression into the mix. Will have to talk to the doctor, but want to get Jim to his doctor first. ......... Weather here today is sunny and 29 degrees - we're having a heat wave. Unfortunately, we'll have blac**** issues because all this snow will start to melt and refreeze. ..... The joys of winter in New England! ....... Hope everyone is doing OK .... Sending out prayers and good wishes. BTW - I am pleased to announce I made it through yesterday totally on plan, and I am doing great today. It has been a long time since I've been able to say that! You ladies are a good influence. 😁

Hi Mary....I was up most of the night myself. This insomnia is the pits. I sleep really good one night and get barely any sleep the next. Depression is another monster. It wants to hang on and never let go! I totally understand the pain as well. Please do get a hold of your doctor. You are important too!!

Weather sucks here today too. The wind is so strong I could hardly walk to the car. It took the scarf I had around my neck and blew it away. My cleaning fairy had to fun after it! It is 0 degrees/-25 for a wind chill. The temp is continuing to drop. I won't be going anywhere as it is supposed to get much colder in the next few days. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

YAY for yesterday....you followed you plan...and you are doing good today!!!

Love and hugs to you....connie d

Hello sistas,

Just checking in so y'all won't be worrying about me.  Things are not going real well today.  Butch had his PET scan this morning.  He weighed 152 lbs!  He's just not eating.  And on top of that, he's now throwing up almost every day.  The zofran doesn't begin to catch it.  I have a call in to Supportive Care at MDA.  Hoping we can squeeze in an appointment with them tomorrow before starting the chemo.

I had a long talk with my mom this morning.  She's already been through this once with my daddy and she has a good head on her shoulders.  She suggested a plan and it may be what we do. If this chemo doesn't help or if it's just too much for Butch to handle physically, I need to have a plan to fall back on. Her suggestion is for us to move back to  Nacogdoches and put Butch in the Hospice House there.  I could live with Mom in her condo and spend most of my time with Butch, but he would have the 24 hour care that he needs.  This makes sense to me.  Butch is still quite insistent that he wants to be buried near Nacogdoches (in the little community where he grew up called Martinsville) and that's a long long ways from Canyon Lake where we live now.  If I bring in Hospice at Canyon Lake, I will have a big expensive problem of bringing him back to Nac to the funeral home there and the burial.  But if we do Hospice in Nac, then everything will be right at hand.  Plus he has so much family there.  I don't know.  It's something to think about.

I haven't broached this subject with Butch, of course, and I won't bring it up until we see how the chemo goes.  But honestly, he's so weak right now, I'm not sure he can withstand the chemo side effects.  I'm very much afraid he won't be able to have the treatments that he needs to go into remission.  And if that's the case, then I don't think he has very much time left at all.  That's a really hard truth to face.  

It's just awful to contemplate all of this, but I have to.  I have to be ready.  I have hard decisions ahead of me.  I'm just really not sure that I need to be trying to buy and sell and move right now.  I can barely hold it together day to day.  The stress of dealing with Butch's daily care and all these medical issues is just wearing me down to a frazzled mess of nerves.  I shake all the time now.  I know I need help, but it's hard for me to know what to ask for (in terms of help from his family****il I know what's going to happen with the chemo tomorrow.

I do think I'm going to ask his sister Lisa (who lives in Austin) to come for a few days next week.  I need to get some things done and I just don't feel like I can leave Butch home alone now.  He's too frail, and I'm afraid he's going to be really sick next week after the chemo.  

Oh, MDA just called and we have a 10 a.m. appointment with the doctor in supportive care tomorrow morning.  This is good.  We need to address the pain issue, the vomiting issue, and other things.  I also think he might be getting a bed sore.  I've never seen a bed sore, but I know they happen to people who are bed ridden.  Butch has a red spot at the base of his tail bone.  I don't want it to turn into a bed sore!  He has no body fat left on him and I think the bone is right under the skin.  Anyway, I need help from the doctor.  

Well, my SIL is home.  I'd better close.  Trish, I'm praying for you and your mom.  I read all the posts, but I can't think of any specifics right now.  Know that I love you all! 

Vickie - I'm glad your Mom helped you come up with a good plan of action. Hospice care will benefit both you and Butch. God bless you during this difficult time.

Hello Vickie.....I am glad you are starting to think of some Hospice care for Butch if the chemo doesn't work. I was going to suggest that today myself. YOU need help. YOU can't do this all by yourself. I am happy your mom helped you face this issue and will step in to help you. It isn't easy to go through. Of course you are shaky,frazzled and feeling sick. You are seeing the love of your life waste away before you. You are unable to stop the pain. If you weren't feeling that way it wouldn't be normal. You need to have a good cry every day until those emotions can fade away even a little. Butch and you  have a wonderful marriage. There is so much love there. Thinking of that being taken away must cause all kinds of emotions. I know you feel terribly sad, and also angry at this damn Cancer that won't let go. I am so sad for you. I cried and cried when I read your post. I have crazy feelings worrying about my wonderful friend and knowing what is to come. My heart just aches for you. I so much want to be a comfort for you. PLEASE call in Butch's family, they will help you. They can take turns being with Butch. You need some release from this even if it is only a couple days and a few hours here and there. Please reach out!!!

I am always, always a phone call away. Cry, scream or what ever you need to do for yourself to feel better. I will listen and not judge. More prayers on the way.

God Bless you both....I love you....hugs.....connie d