SATURDAY WHAT'S UP

Morning OFF family...

Well I got up this morning turned on the tv to see what the weather was and no sound on tv...had to reboot it...works fine now!! Then I get on PC and get on FB find out on FB that my ex MIL died. Nice huh? Nobody could call to let me know this! She WAS my MIL for 23 years!!! But that is how that family is...I am hurt. They do not care!!! They blasted me for putting Gary in the home when he had voices telling him to kill me...well excuse me!!!!!!! If it was them what would they have done??????? I did what was best for me at the time!!!!!! He was dealing with dementia problems and all sorts of other mental issues also!!!!!!! And when they DID see what I was dealing with they soon found I DID THE RIGHT THING!!!!!!!!!!! But did they tell me this???? NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry my ex MIL died...she was 94 this past Monday. RIP Eunice. I did care ALOT for you!!!!

Rick just came in and man is he mad at that screwball girlfriend of Michael's!!!!! He is putting salt down and she pulls up in her car right in his way!!!!!!! He said she looks at him and grins!!!! Rick wants to bash her teeth in!!!!!! He said he will say something to Michael about her...go ahead...he won't listen. SHe is PERFECT you know. OMG!!!!!!!

Well the weather has not changed for this massive storm we are to get tomorrow night into Monday...still calling for significant snow...6-12 inches. YIPPEEE!!!!!!!! NOT!!!!!!!!!!!

So that is my news for today. Time to shower and go back to bed. Sick of today already!!!!!!

Thoughts and Prayers for ALL that need them!!!!!!!!!!

HUGSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Good Morning Judy and OFF,

Judy, I'm sorry to hear about your ex-mother-in-law.  I'm still good friends with mine.  My ex, or my kids, will let me know when mine passes.  Same for Jim, her husband, my ex's stepfather.  My ex is an only child, so there is nobody else.  When I go back home with Sean, he stays with her, and we get pizza, and eat with them.  

I'm getting some clothes together to donate to a homeless charity this afternoon.  I have some other errands to take care of.  I also have some bills to pay.

Sinuses are bothering me since last night.  I may stop by the urgent care for an antibiotic while in town.

Must scoot.

Love,

Trish

Good morning, Trish.  We must have been posting at the same time.  Love you!

Hi Trish.....I have always had a good relationship with my exes and their families too. All my FIL's and MIL's have passed. I still do things and have good contact with my exes. We are together at many functions. 

That is nice of you to donate clothes to the homeless. I have always done that. If I can't use it someone else sure can.

Sorry about your sinuses are bad a gain. I hope you get the meds you need today. 

Love and hugs to you...connie d

Good morning Judy and my sistas,

Yes, Judy, by all means, go back to bed!  Just pull the covers up and block all the crap out.  You deserve a day of no drama and some rest, girl.  Can you unplug the phone, too?  And, on a serious note, I am so sorry about your ex MIL.  That's a lousy way to find out about her death.  My condolences to you.

Well, I am somewhat rested after our quick trip to Houston and back.  I took two Tylenol PM around 8 last night and fell asleep right after giving Butch his 10 p.m. pills.  I slept a good 10 hours straight.  Butch is still snoozing, although it's time to wake him for his 10 a.m. pills.  I'll do that as soon as I finish this post.

So, I posted the results of our visit to MDA on yesterday's thread.  And y'all know I do try to put a positive spin on everything I post on a public forum.  I mean, there's no point in posting a bunch of sad, depressing stuff on FB or even on Care Pages.  For one thing, I don't want Butch or the girls reading my messed up thoughts.  But for another, I'm just superstitious enough to believe that if I "put it out there" in the universe, it will come true.  

However, I feel private and protected here with y'all.  (And please, don't reference things I tell you here on OFF on CarePages, such as buying that black dress.  Butch reads the CarePages, too, and I don't want him to know about that.) So I will tell you that the news we got really wasn't all that great.  Yes, they do now know exactly what type of lung cancer Butch has.  But it's not good.  This KRAS mutation is very difficult to treat.  Almost nothing works on it.  IF the chemo does work on it, he will hopefully go into a short remission.  And by short, I mean months, not years.  So, it's coming, and I know it.  I think Butch knows it too, although we haven't talked about in detail.  One doctor told us a remission of about 6 months would be typical.  Another article in a medical journal said a remission of 9 to 12 months was possible.  

I do agree with the latest treatment plan.  Butch DOES need some relief from the pain.  He needs that more right now than he needs the chemo.  Both are important, but the pain relief has to be primary.  He is so drugged up on the morphine that he sleeps most of the time, and then he's fuzzy and muddle-headed when he's awake.  That's no way to live.  He's aware of it and he's miserable about being that way.  So we really do pray that the radiation on the bone mets helps and he can get back on a much smaller dose of morphine.  He's always going to have some pain from now on.  It won't ever go away entirely.  

What I want, and need so desperately, is for him to just be Butch again.  If he can just be himself for the next 2 months? 10 months? 12 months?, then I will be happy with whatever time we have left.  It is a very hard truth to face, but I would rather face it and treasure our time together, than lie to myself and pretend it's not happening.

Also, I really, really need his help to get some loose ends tied up.  Better we should do these things TOGETHER and NOW, but that's just not possible when he is so out-of-it from the pain meds.  So the radiation treatments are a must.  

When we get to the new chemo part, we will pray and pray hard for it to work.  Dr. Kurie said (and he chooses his words very carefully with us) that it "can work".  I take that to mean that Butch has a fighting chance of going into remission.  I didn't ask for statistics.  I don't want to know them.  And I don't want Butch to hear them spoken out loud.  It's enough to know that if the chemo does work and he goes into remission, we will have a few more months.  And if it doesn't work, things will probably happen pretty quickly.

I still have to explain all of this to Carrie and Christie.  Carrie, I think, is very sad right now.  It's beginning to sink in that there is not going to be a miracle cure for her dad and she's doing some grieving right now.  Christie is still not quite facing the truth and hears every development as good news.  Maybe that's my fault.  I do try to present the best side of every development.  But, you know, when I bought that black dress last week, Carrie's comment was, "I can't talk about this right now."  Christie's comment was, "Pretty! What's it for?"  See what I mean?

Well, we will continue to take one day at a time.  We return to Houston Sunday evening, and will be there M-F for radiation treatments.  We'll come home for the weekend, and then we'll go back for another M-F for more radiation treatments.  10 treatments in all.  During that time, he will also be seeing an orthopedic doctor to see if there is anything to be done for his broken collar bone.  He has pretty well lost the use of his left shoulder and arm entirely, and it causes him a great deal of pain, too.  Because of the type of bone tumors he has (they're called lytic), the bone will not knit or heal on it's own, even if it could be set, which broken collar bones cannot be set.  Don't know what the orthopedic surgeon can do, but hopefully something.

As for today, we are having a visit from Chris and Mike and the boys.  Butch is really looking forward to seeing the boys again.  Judy, I finally got my tree taken down (LOL!) and I'll get Mike to help me get the boxes back up in the attic again.  I also need to take my car to be serviced and inspected this morning, and I guess I'd better get going.  So many little details are getting passed over right now, but the car is a big detail and I'd better take care of it, huh?

Love you all!

Good Morning Vickie,

I waited till today to reply to your update about Butch.  I am sorry the news was not more positive.  It's so hard to face such a harsh truth.  It's hard to watch someone we love suffer, let alone know they won't be with us longer than the docs say.  I'm continuing to lift you both in prayer.  It's such a difficult challenge you are up against right now.  Chris' reaction is not surprising, denial is one of the stages of grief, and given her drug history, it makes sense she's in denial.  

Know that I love you.  We love you.  More importantly, God loves you, Butch, Christie, Carrie, and the boys, more than any of you can imagine.  No matter what is going on, remember that.  Cling to it.  God is sovereign, and He will never let any of you out of the palm of His hand.  Romans 8:38-39.

Hugs,

Trish

Thank you, sweet sista!  I am coming to terms with things.  I know God is beside us right now.  I also know that only God knows when He will call us home to Him.  We will continue to do all we can to improve Butch's health and well being, but in the end, we all must go home one day.  I accept that.  That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, but I know where my husband is going.  He will be waiting there for me when it's my turn.  In the meantime, I intend to take each day with my husband as a gift and enjoy it fully.  

I love you, too.

Hi Vickie...it sounds like you managed a good night sleep last night. That is wonderful!! I am glad Butch is sleeping better too. He really needs that sleep!  

I was reading between the lines on your posts yesterday. I know there aren't always things you can share on the other boards. You said not to mention things on OFF and Facebook....I will not do that or on Care Pages.

I think once Butch gets that radiation and that much needed chemo he will get back to being more himself. I continue to pray for that.

I think Carrie and Christie are doing the best they can right now. They both do handle things differently. I think Christie's Bi-Polar may be effected by all that is going on with her dad now. I just keep praying for them every day!!! Stress effects us all in other ways. 

Please try to enjoy what you can this weekend. Your family loves you...all of them!!!! Those sweet little boys are just what you and Butch need now. Relax and enjoy them...they are so precious.

Radiation starts Monday....I will be praying for the best!! Maybe someone at MDA can come up with something to help with Butch's collar bone. That has to be so painful. 

YAY....you got your tree down...way to go!! Glad Mike can get the boxes in the attic for you. 

I will keep the prayers coming....you keep doing the best you can. You are a strong woman, even when you don't want to be.

God Bless you both! I am here for you always!!

I love you very much....huge hugs....connie d

Good morning Judy and everyone.....

Judy....I am so sorry about the death of your MIL. You are right someone should have notified you sooner. Some people just don't look at the whole picture. You were together 23 years. That in itself should account for something. I know this is hurting you and I am so sorry. You know how much I love you!!! Text, email me or whatever. I am always here for you!! 

That screwball girlfriend of Michael's needs to stay away from there. She keeps laughing in your and Rick's faces all the time. She doesn't follow rules. I would start thinking about getting a restraining order on her!! I don't know her but I swear if I was there I would punch her in the face. I am not a violent person. She just seems to bring that out in everyone! 

I am still praying that the worst of that storm misses you!! 

As for me....Judy...remember to let me know how sick I was last night...most of the night just because of that rice!!! I am spending a lot of time in the bathroom today because of it!! 

I haven't done much so far today. I read the newspaper and took it to the next person. I was going to go run to Target for a few things. I canceled my ride for that!! There isn't anything serious I can't live without right now. I am just getting low on fresh fruit and fresh veggies. I have plenty of frozen of both. 

Eileen....I am glad you got things settle with your mom. I think she will be much happier there. It sounds like a great place.

I hope you have a quieter day today. You deserve one. Take the afternoon off if possible. Give yourself time to grieve. Like Vickie said...go cover your head and stay in bed!! Rick knows how to cook, let him take care of you. I am worried about you!!  You have been dealt a lot lately!!

Wishing everyone a great day!!!

 Prayers for our amazing OFF Family and their families.

Lots of love and many hugs to all....connie d

Hi, this is to warn you that this is not the safe private site to let it all  hang out.  It is on the contrary a very public site on the web. All anyone has to do in the case of Vickie, is Google her first and last names, and all her posts on all social media sites including OH come up. Or even if you post the name of a medicine here, or type of tumor, the web crawler picks it up in a Google search, and wham, your post is in a  very public spotlight. Just warning all of you...

the Mermaid