GOOD MORNING EVERYONE....

Hi All ~

It's so dang cold here in Illinois, just can't get out and do any walking.  The treadmill is making a funny noise so hubby said let's go shopping today for a new one.  He's off of work, so I'm going to take him up on it.  I used to go to the mall to walk in the morning but it just seems like as I get older I'm getting scared of going to large public places with all that is going on in the world.  I know I shouldn't be put off by the evil people out there but I just don't feel safe anymore.  I'd give anything if we could go back to the day when we felt safe in America.  Just can't believe the evil and the hate that has permeated our earth.  Well, that's enough of being philisophical :)  I'm down another 2#...That makes it 18# since surgery.  I'm happy with that.  Still having a rough time getting all my liquids in.  Doing about 70 grams of protein a day, so that's good.  Only about 50oz of liquid though.  So I have to be diligent with that. 

Take care all of you wonderful Ladies ~ Keep warm and safe!

Talk soon

Kim N.

Good Morning Kim, and OFF Family,

Kim, try eating sugar free Jello, and sugar free Popsicles to get your fluid intake up.  They count.  I also drank homemade, decaf iced tea, with Splenda.  Doc said any decaf drink counted.  Plus, I kept my cup with me all day long, and just kept sipping.  Doing great with the weight loss.  

Wish I had an elliptical here right now.  It's 1 degree here, and I'm not too keen on venturing out right now.  But, I will.  Must get out to run some much needed errands.  Plus, I do want to get to the YMCA today.  Must get moving.  Plus, a run to Rite Aid.

Almost done taking down Christmas.  Ran out of space in my ornament boxes, so I need to see if I can pick up another.  I saw them at IGA the other day.  Hope there's one when I go out in a little bit.

Chris bought me a movie on iTunes the other night.  He said it reminded him of my brother, Neil.  Neil was a chef, and Chris and Colleen worked in various restaurants with him.  The movie is called, "Chef."  I plan to watch that today when I get home.

Must scoot.  Praying for Butch, Vickie, and all my OFF family here.

Love you all.

Trish

Good morning Kim and everyone......

Kim....I feel the same way about large places with lots of people. No place is safe anymore. I agree, I want to go back to the day when we felt safe in America! 

Congrats on another 2 pounds! Trish is right about the Popsicles and things...it all counts towards water. Keep sipping, it will get easier!!

As for me....I am worn out from yesterday. Tony is coming over later to take me for a few groceries. I don't need a lot but I go when I know he can care things for me. 

Kyleigh, Mitch, Amanda, Tyler and maybe Lucas will be here on Saturday for the move. I will be so glad when Kyleigh's things are out of that apartment!! The plus is, it is always good for me when my grandchildren are around!

Wishing everyone a wonderful day!

Prayers for our amazing OFF Family and their families. Special prays for Butch and Vickie. Also extra prayers for Judy as she is morning a loss in her family.

Much love and many hugs to all....connie d

I remember those days, went thru it twice.  You really need to hit at least 64oz.  When I had my revision I upped to 80-100 grams protein and 100 oz water.  I used a protein powder with 23 g protein and when added milk gave me 31 g.  I also was able to count the milk as fluid.  I also made protein cold drinks and added SF crystal light for taste.  Every thing that went in my mouth after the revision was protein fluid.  After having a failed lap band I didn't want to do anything wrong the second time around.  Good luck and keep sipping.

Good morning Kim and sistas!

Just now waking up after a long and much needed sleep.  Gosh, I was tired.  I think I fell asleep before 9 and didn't wake up until 10.     Well, I haven't posted on Care Pages yet this morning (posting here first), but we really didn't get very good news at MDA this time.  At least I don't think so.  Butch says he's not all that worried about it yet.  But I am.  They did admit us and the plan was to do the biopsy on Weds or Thurs.  But then they remembered that Butch is on both celebrex and baby aspirin and they want him to be off of both for 5 days before any procedures.  So they let us go and we're scheduled to go back next Monday and Tuesday.  Pre-op on Monday and the actual procedure early Tuesday morning.  Then Dr. Tu says he will call us Weds afternoon with the results and we'll make a plan for when to return to MDA again, but we don't know what the treatment plan will be at this point.   In the meantime, we have to close on the new house on Thursday.    

Well, I kind of tried to pin Dr. Tu down on what will happen next, and I wasn't very encouraged by his answers.  Dr. Ebon (sp?) the lung cancer doctor, looked at the CT scans and it's HIS opinion that maybe it isn't lung cancer at all, but they're still going to do the biopsy to make sure.  But in that case, I asked Dr. Tu what course of action we will pursue if it's just the prostate cancer, and I thought he was pretty evasive about an answer.  Butch says he was just being cautious until he knows what we're dealing with.  But I got the impression that there's not a lot of treatment options left.  He said that the first chemo worked, but it didn't last long enough.  He said there were a couple of other things they could try, but he didn't sound like he thought they would work.  At least that's how it sounded to me.  He said they might work for another 6 months.  Well, hell.  What happens after that?  I got the very bad feeling that they are just going to say there's nothing more we can do.    

Of course, I can't say any of this to Butch, and there was no one else there to hear, so I don't know if my "filter" was off and I was just hearing him through panic and stress.  But it sounded pretty damn grim to me.  

And, oh, sistas, I am so upset with Christie!  At least I think I am, but I really don't see any other alternative.  Long story short, Chris picked up Butch's last refill of EXTENDED release 15 mg morphine tablets for me right before Christmas, and as near as we can tell, we are about 30 tablets short!  The bottle should have held 90 tablets, and it didn't.  But of course, I didn't count them at the beginning.  It's only now that I can see we only have enough pills left for a few more days.  We should have enough to last through the 20th.   Well, my first thought was that the pharmacy shorted us.  But Butch has ANOTHER prescription of morphine tablets that are Immediate Release (for breakthrough pain), and we filled it several months ago.  He's only ever taken 1 or 2 of those.  The pain doctor changed up Butch's regimen for his pain pills, and now wants him to take the IR pills.  He offered to write us another scrip, and I said no, we have a full bottle at home.  ONLY WE DON'T!  There is ONE damn pill left in that bottle!!!  Oh my Lord.  

Chris has a history of abusing prescription drugs, but I thought that was over long, long time ago.  I had no idea she might still be doing it.  But apparently she is.  At least that's all we can think of.  I'm so angry with her I can't even bring myself to talk to her at this point.  She called last night and I just let the phone ring.  She texted this morning and I haven't answered.  I know I have to confront her about it, and I know she'll deny it, but it can only be her or Mike who took the pills, and given her history, I have to believe it is her.  

The problem is that we are now short of Butch's pain meds, and we can't get any more.  New laws make it impossible for the doctor to call in a scrip to a pharmacy for an opoid.  And we didn't bring a new scrip home with us.  PLUS, they already look at us with suspicion since I told them about the missing pills and asked if we could have an early scrip for the 15 mg pills.  No matter what you say, you look guilty of prescription drug abuse in their eyes.  The more you say, the guiltier you look.  

Oh, I am just so upset!   So we have to try and deal with that today.  I'm not sure we have enough pain pills to last until Monday when we go back to MDA.     Anyway, I'm a little stressed out today and I think I might just go crazy with worry.  But I really can't afford to indulge myself in that kind of "wallow" right now.  I have to be strong, but girls, I tell you, my head is already pounding this morning.  And my stomach is tied up in knots.  The only place I can "escape" to is sleep, because that's the only time my brain shuts off.  The rest of the time I'm awake and thinking about all of this and I think I might go crazy.  

Well, I'd better close and see about feeding my husband something for breakfast.  Judy, I am sorry for your loss.  Kim, you are doing well!  Just keep following the plan.  You are doing everything right.  I think everyone just needs to stay home!  It's only 24 F here this morning, and that's super cold for us.  I can't imagine how y'all are surviving this cold up north.  Connie, I'm glad Tony is helping you today.    

Love you all!

Dear sweet Vickie....I am more then a little upset over those missing meds. Yes, it could be a pharmacy mistake...it does happen. If it is Christie and/or Mike what the hell were they thinking? Those drugs are to keep Butch from horrible pain. This is her father and mother she is stealing from. For crying out loud, don't they remember all you two have done for them?? My gosh you bought them a house to live in not to mention how many other things you have done for them. This is just a total lack of respect! If I were you I would keep all drugs in a different place and locked up!! I hope she isn't doing drugs regularly. She has children now. Second where does the money come for drugs? They don't seem to have a lot for daycare. Drugs are expensive...unless they are stolen. What a slap in the face!! I am so sorry!! I want things to go so smooth for you and Butch. You both deserve that. I am praying this gets resolved soon and it was the pharmacy shortage. I love you much!! I am very concerned about both of you!! I don't mean to upset you more. You know how much I care.

Prayers...prayers....and more prayers!

Love you always....gentle hugs....connie d

My email address is [email protected]

Hi Kim and my OFF family:

Yes, it's cold here too in Southern Indiana, but not as cold as it is up north. It was 9 degrees with a wind chill of 4 below. Brrrr! I have to go back to work today.

Still got the crud but it doesn't seem to be as bad today. So maybe I'm getting a little better. 

Judy, sorry about your family. 

Vickie, I can't imagine what you're going through, first with Butch, then with Christie. It's tough enough with Butch's cancer, but then having to deal with Christie possibly stealing his pain meds ... oh my! You have my thoughts, dear Vickie. I wish I could do something to help, but all I can do is swing chickens and hope things will get better. But I agree, you do have to confront her. And then never let her get the drugs again. Put them somewhere she won't have access to. Lock 'em down. Horrible, stealing from her dad's pain drugs. I know what you mean about trying to get painkillers with the new laws ... I have to go through those too. 

Well, not much else happening. I try not to let the evildoers of the world keep me from enjoying life. If I want to be out doing something, I do it. Like after 9/11, I took a flight and a cruise. I won't let these people intimidate me. Then they've won. 

The world is a scary place, lots of hate. America isn't going to go back to a simpler time, unfortunately. We just have to live our lives and not let the bad guys get us down. 

Well, I did confront Chris about the missing pills a few minutes ago, and as I suspected, I got an outright denial:  "I don't know anything about that, Mommy."  

We will put the new medications under lock and key when the kids are here.  I already kept them up on top of the refrigerator to keep them out of reach of the boys, of course, but we will do something more now to keep them out of reach of Christie.  I really don't think it was Mike at all.  I think Chris was taking them, one or two at a time, for when she had a headache or needed to sleep.  But if she won't admit it, I can't prove it.  

**** happens.

Sweet Vickie,

As the mother of an addict, I can definitely empathize with that aspect o your stress level, plus the disappointment in knowing that it's more than likely Christie has taken the pills.  I can also understand what might be happening in Christie's emotional world, because of my experience of working in treatment facilities, plus being in recovery myself.  

Of course you're angry with Christie.  I was angry at Sean for a very long time.  I had a resentment about him for a very long time.  I threw away thousands of dollars paying for his college tuition, while he was flunking out and getting high.  Then there was the money I spent on a car, which I did not want to buy, but his Dad said he needed it to go to community college.  Which I paid for, and he flunked out and got high.  I so much wanted a reconciliation with his Dad.  Now, it turns out, I am paying a traffic fine, from when he lived here, with the car I bought when he was not going to the classes.  Since the ticket dates back to that time period, and the car was in my name, guess who gets to pay for it.  Yup, me.  There was also the car insurance I paid, for the job hunt he was supposed to be on, when he lived with his father.  I suspected he was using again, and broached Paul about it.  He was way in denial.  He said, "He's just being Sean."  My answer, "Yes, and Sean is an addict."

I will share some facts I know about addicts.  

1.  If an addict/alcoholic fails to regularly attend a support group, like Narcotics Anonymous, or AA, they increase their risk of relapsing.

2.  Addicts, in or out of regular support group attendance, are at risk of relapse if they, or a loved one face a serious health issue.  

3.  An addict in relapse MUST get their fix, because the pain of getting clean and sober, and early recovery, is just too much to deal with.  

4.  Addicts in relapse are selfish.  

5.  It doesn't mean they don't love their family.  They just can't face the pain of withdrawal.  

6. Compulsive overeating is now in the DSM as an eating disorder.  The treatment for eating disorders is basically identical to chemical addiction, with kid gloves.  Chemical addiction recovery is tough love.  Eating disorder treatment is gentle love.  The education and therapy are identical.  Been to both as a patient.  

I'm praying for all of you.  I hope Butch has enough pills to get through to Monday.  If not, it might be possible to get in to see primary doc for a script, if you call them first thing in the morning.  

Hi Vickie...you are right...what can you do...what is done is done...no way to prove it...**** HAPPENS!!!

Don't let it rag you down. Save your strength and energy for when you really need it. 

Love you....HUGS....prayers....connie d