Happy Sunday Everyone....what is new with you.......

Good morning everyone.....

I am running slow today....I did my readings and prayers and took a shower. I am just relaxing this morning. I had a hard night last night. 

Nothing new in my life but that is okay. I need some quiet days.

Pam broke up with that gross guy she was with. For three weeks she seemed so much happier and more like PAM!!! She went back to him Thursday. She is falling into the same old patterns. He controls all she does. If she is going to do something for/with me he must okay it first. He gets irate if things aren't HIS way. She does all the cooking, shopping etc.. He lives on the third floor of an apartment. She has to lug all the groceries up all those stairs. He drinks a gallon of milk a DAY!!! She is forever lugging milk to him. She is in such pain and dealing with MS. He sits for 1/2 a day or more at his computer. She has to keep her computer in the kitchen. They have meals together, hardly talking and then off to his computer. His computer is locked up like Fort Knox. No one could get in that thing. He is major into bondage and all that. I can only imagine what is on that computer!!!! Her excuse for caring everything up all those stair is that he is "hurting today" or "he is so tired". I would like to go there and throw him out the window!! He is LAZY and that is all that is wrong with him. He claims he is disabled but he has never been able to get a disability diagnosis or disability help. he lives off the government. HE makes all the rules. I am just depressed that she is so desperate to be with someone that she continues to put up with him. She was so worn down when she left him that her therapist, her doctors, her family and I were all so worried and not wanting her to go back. After what he did she shouldn't have gone back!!!!! I won't get into that now.  Sorry I am going on and on....I just needed to get this out!!

Wish everyone a beautiful day!!!

Prayers for all our wonderful OFF family!! Special prayers as requested.

Loads of Love and Many Hugs to all......connie d

So sorry Pam is in an emotionally and physically abusive relationship. You may want to recommend she access the website designed by Dr. Phil McGraw's wife.... When Georgia Smiled. It is free and has a lot of resources to assist women in understanding, recognizing, and doing something to get out of an abusive relationship.  Remember, it takes most women multiple attempts to leave , abd permanently leave an abusive relationship.  You compound that with someone who uses his medical condition to control and manipulate and it just adds a level of complexity. Be supportive and patient. I think the most important thing is to make sure she is physicality safe and has an exit plan (money set aside, clothes in a separate place where she can acess them. A set of keys to the car and apartment to be kept outside her house. They have all this on the website. 

Blessings, 

Francine

Hi Francine....Pam does have her own apartment. She just is at his 90% of the time. She is not supposed to be staying there. She would move in but he is on Medical Assistance  and he will lose all his help is she does. He gets about $200 a month in cash, paid insurance, and he pays $6 a month for rent in a nice 2 bedroom apartment, plus, he gets hundreds of dollars in food stamps a month. He really doesn't want to LIVE together anyway. They have been together for 3 years. He just not that long ago admitted she was his girlfriend. He has never told her he loves her. Pam is just the opposite. It hurts her that he doesn't say it and treats her more like a roommate and maid. All she does for him wears her out so much. I get sick seeing how worn down she is. All I can do is keep praying for her!! I can't be around him....red flags just fly for me. I always listen to those feelings!!!

Pam has an inheritance that is getting spent pretty freely. She buys him so many things. I worry because that money isn't going to last long. He just uses her. He drives her car when ever he wants. She pays all the insurance and upkeep. 

Pam has MS....I can see her going down hill all the time. She doesn't do what she needs to do for herself. She is always too worried about him. What happens when she gets worse and can't do stairs anymore?? or can't take care of herself??? He won't take care of her. he doesn't help her now!!

Sorry to ramble....I am just so worried about her....we all are.

I have suggested she check this out and other websites...she won't do it. 

I am always here for Pam....I always will be.

Thanks for the information and the reply!!!

Love and many hugs to you.....connie d

She is so vulnerable right now. I wish one of her doctors would report him!!

Connie u can call elder abuse hotline annonomysly (sp) no one will ever know! She does need help.

I did for my sister in law but my sister in law just cussed the state of Ill out!!!! in the end she took the state for everything and I don't know how! Some people just know how to work the system!!!!

Elder abuse on any phone is 311.

carla

Hi Carla.....there is only me that knows the extent of the cir****tances. He has been reported to housing (HRA) for having Pam there. They called and asked, "they heard he was having another person living there". He said "that isn't true". They said okay and goodbye. For all purposes she has a different address and gets all of her mail there. As far as the government goes, he would find out right away if I did it. I am the only one that knows of how he is cheating the system. It will backfire on me!!!  Oh yes...he is always threatening and gets people in trouble. He files complaints with the government anytime he feels like he is being HARASSED. He always feels that way. If he feels some one hasn't gotten back to him in 24 hours, he files a complaint on them by 24 hours and 1 minute! He has a way with that. He continues to go over his workers heads. They get in trouble so they don't bother him. I won't cross that line!!!! 

Hi Connie, and OFF,

Was busy at church.  Then, doing some tidying, and watching the Phillies.  Eagles are on tomorrow night.  About to head into town, to get some meds.  

That's my exciting day.

As for Pam, she needs to see how precious she is to God, and start building that self-esteem.  I've been there, and I actually accepted a guy's proposal, but kicked him to the curb one day.  Long story.  I was just desperate for a guy.  My therapist would not let up on me that entire summer.  He knew me well enough to know it wasn't right.  God has healed that part of me enough that I'm no longer interested in finding a guy.  The Lord would have to have the guy appear before me, with a Burning Bush, and a parted Red Sea to communicate to me the guy is right for me.

I'll be praying for her, and you.

Hugs,

Trish

Trish.....Pam believes in GOD. She just isn't seeing any other thing in her life!!! She is in such denial!!!

She has never had self esteem. This is her one and only guy. She knows he would never marry her. He tells her that. She just hangs on to crumbs!! Her therapist only knows what she tells her. She makes so many excuses for him every time anyone asks about him. 

I am helpless as far as this goes.....I just keep praying!!!

Love you....HUGS....connie d

Right now Pam is painting a rosy picture of him and all he does for her. She will hide things about him even to me. I knew what was happening long before she finally confessed. She just can't be alone.

God has shown me I can be alone. I am in no rush to find anyone. If God wants it to happen then it will, all by itself!!