My decision to use honey

I'd like to apologize to Lightswitch for my knee jerk response to her posts to me about my use of honey.  I'm sorry I reacted the way I did.

Anyone who knows me here, knows that my Mom still treats me like I'm ten, barking orders at me, telling me what I can and can't do, and lecturing me on stuff I am already fully knowledgeable on.  That's how I first saw Lightswitch's posts to me about honey.

However, anyone who has been here for a while should also know that I am a woman of prayer, and I don't make decisions lightly.  They also should know that I've had four sinus surgeries, MRSA in my sinuses, constant sinus infections, and never ending sinus headaches.

Also, anyone who's been here for a while should know I'm a recovering alcoholic, who had a horrific relapse into wine and sugar one year post-op.  It lasted for two years, and I needed a visit to a psych hospital, and inpatient rehab, to stop drinking.

I'm also bipolar, and need to take care of my sobriety and mental health first and foremost.

I'm also highly intelligent, educated, and well read.  I have done an immense amount of research on my nutritional needs.

I also see a slew of doctors, including an allergist, and ENT specialist.  I'm on Social Security Disability for all my health issues.

I have tried allergy shots, when I lived in Pennsylvania.  I kept getting sick while getting them.  I take a boatload of allergy meds, and nasal sprays. 

As I mentioned, I despise the taste of honey.  Always have.  I first rejected the idea of using honey because of the sugar content.  After my last visit to the allergist, where I learned all that I'm allergic to, and was told he wouldn't do shots, I prayed.  Being sick of being sick, and desperate for some relief, I opted for the honey.

I don't need the lectures about dumping resistance.  I know them.

I hope this educates everyone on why I would choose to do the honey.

Hugs,

Trish

Trish,

I am sorry your life has sucked, but you do not get a pass on bad behavior just because your life sucked.  This is not the first time you have been mean to me but it will be the last.  I won't comment on your post because frankly, you're mean and a bully.   I am glad you don't need lectures on dumping...wow.   I'm glad you have life all figured out.    Because I get it now...you don't want commentary, or advice, you want pats on the back, which i won't give to a person who has had WLS eating badly.   Consider me off limits to you and you to me.

I apologized to you for my reaction.  I found your post offensive because you treated me like an ignorant child, while assuming I chose not to get shots.  I explained my allergy/sinus history to you to explain why I, a WLS patient, would choose to ingest honey for my allergies.  I don't want to take the honey.  I hate it.  I don't like taking it given my status as a post-op.  I am desperate, and frankly don't find any other option.

My reactions to your posts have to do with how YOU speak to me.  You talk down to me, and assume you can lecture and give orders.  Plus, if you knew me, you'd understand my choice without having to lecture.  Plus, every post you've ever sent me has lacked compassion and empathy.

If you choose to not correspond with me that is your loss.  If you knew me, you'd treat me differently, and know that I'm a loving, caring woman who normally treats other with compassion.  However, I don't respond well when being talked down to.

Hugs with apologies.

Trish

I most certainly do not talk down to you.   And, even if I were talking down to you, which I was not, your reaction was not the way to resolve the issue.   I do not talk to you any differently than the way that I talk to Susan or Connie or anyone else.   

The point I am making is you think just because you have a history of alcoholism, an abusive parent, and bipolar, you can mistreat others and then apologize and that will make it all okay. Look, you don't know me!  You have no idea that..well let me start from the beginning: 1) I was raped when I was nine by my step father; 2) Two of my older sisters terrorized me from as early as I can remember; 3)my mother died when I was a child and went to live with an older sister that hated my guts; 4) my first husband almost killed me when he found I was pregnant; should I go on...I've had a horrible life but would never treat others the way you do.   

I don't think my choice not to participate and encourage your behavior is my loss.   I learned a long, long time ago tigers do not change their spots: once a bully; always a bully. Go back and read your responses to me and the way you egg others to respond to me in like fashion.   

I do not believe it is acceptable to respond to you the way I do.  I do believe I should apologize once I've been convicted to do so.

You bully me every time you respond to my posts.

I don't want your encouragement.  I don't need your encouragement.  I wanted to explain that I was between a rock and a hard place. 

I don't want your sympathy for the few problems I shared, I wanted to give you context for my decision to make the hard decision I made.  I barely scratched the surface of my life experiences.  I was only explaining background for all I've done to deal with allergies, as well as health priorities.

It's obvious you've had a difficult life.  But, that does not give you the right to bully everyone you post to.  Just because you bully others as well as me doesn't mean it's acceptable.  It just means I stand up to bullies.

As far as childhood trauma is concerned, I've had my share of it.  I've also had psychotherapy to work through it.  You should try it yourself.  Then, maybe, you wouldn't think you have to look at everything in black and white.  You'd develop empathy and compassion for people.  You'd learn to speak to others as equals, and not subordinates.  And, you wouldn't think you have to play the role of WLS police, and lecture everyone on their hard choices, because you do talk down to everyone.  You just don't see it, because you're in denial.  Difference is, I don't tolerate it.  I stand up to bullies.

I am not a bully, you are.   And, I don't bully others.  This is a message board where people who have problems post.  Those who have confidence or knowledge provide options.  That's what I was doing.  You took it wrong, jumped at an opportunity to be rude, then realized that your being rude made you look like a bully so you apologized.  That's the way you respond to me.   I am not a bully but I don't let others like you bully me.   I am finished with this conversation.

Like I said, you're in denial of how you treat everyone.  You obviously need psychotherapy, because of it.  The fact that you call me a bully is actually a projection of how you are treating me, and everyone else you post to.  Given what you shared about your childhood traumas, it explains why you treat others the way you do.  Also, the fact that you are incapable of forgiving others, much less showing an ounce not even an ounce of compassion, shows you have a very hard heart, incapable of loving others.  You display hostility, like the way you referred to the personal information I posted "dribble." 

You justified your behavior toward me by rationalizing that I supposedly posted a problem and needed your help.  I didn't have a problem.  I shared a personal item with my friends who understood what I was going through.  I didn't ask for you, or anyone else to provide options.  My allergists, and ENTs in two states have spent countless hours, over the course of 20 years, exploring all of my options.  I didn't ask for anyone's help with that, especially someone not experienced with the problem I have.  All of your confidence, and whatever knowledge you may think you have, doesn't justify how you talked down to me, and gave orders. 

It's obvious you are in emotional pain.  Between what you shared about your childhood,  parts of which I could relate to, and how you post to others, you really could use some professional help.  Psychology Today's website has a search engine to help people who are looking for qualified psychotherapists.  I suggest a licensed psychologist, or LCSW, with at least 15 years experience working with people with eating disorders. 

Before you ask me why I think I can make these suggestions to you, let me explain.

1. My childhood, and eating disorder, had me in psychotherapy for a very long time.

2. I used to treat everyone the way you do, condescending with a know-it-all attitude.  AND, I denied it for years.  I had no friends, and my marriage ended because of how I treated people.

3. Only an experienced, qualified, licensed psychologist was able to help me break through my denial, and help me work on the pain I was in, and how to relate to people as equals.

4. I spent three years studying human behavior in the context of systems.

5. I have a license to practice psychotherapy in Pennsylvania.

6. I worked in various mental health settings for years.

You may hate me, and may never wish to communicate with me, which is your right, and fine with me.  I don't take that personally.  Regardless of what you think of me, I do care about you.  You do care about the people on this forum, or you wouldn't post comments to the people who share stuff here.  You just have trouble relating to that you care in the way you word your comments.  Some people grow up learning that skill.  Others, like me, either weren't taught it, had poor role models for it, or suffered too much trauma at a young age to be able to deal with people effectively.

Hugs,

Trish