Wide Awake

Well, a very early good morning to all my sistas!

I can't sleep.  I have a slight headache and my brain won't shut down.  I guess I'm up for the day.

Butch and I are leaving for our little camping trip today.  Thank you, Jesus.  I need the break.  It will just be for 2 nights, but it will help.  I just desperately need some alone time with my husband, away from all the tension and pressure around here.

Christie is acting very "manic" right now.  She is on a giddy high about being the center of so much attention.  Of course, my fear is for after the baby is born and post partum depression sets in.  Last time her depression took the form of rage at John for every little thing.  I expect she will rage at me this time, since I will be the handiest target.

I "announced" the baby on FB yesterday.  And I wrote a private email to certain close family and friends explaining the situation.  I mean, how do you announce that you are having a new baby in the family in TWO weeks?  It's more than a little bit crazy.

Anyway, yesterday Butch and Benny and I went to the storage building and found several items like the infant carrier/car seat and the infant swing and some other things we had packed away.  Chris stopped at Target on the way home and bought a few more items.  Some of her co-workers have given her some little girl hand-me-downs.  I'm hesitant to buy a bunch of pin****il we know for sure it's a girl.  There will be time for that after the baby is born.

Spent quite a bit of time explaining the new baby to Benny yesterday.  He was, of course, very interested in all the new baby equipment.  I explained to him that he slept in that little bassinet when he was a baby, or that was his swing, etc., but that now his new baby sister was going to use them.  In some ways, this is actually a better scenario for Benny because the birth is not so distant.  We will do the prep and then the baby will be here.  Chris is going to take him shopping so he can buy a special little present just for the baby.  (And I am going to buy several little presents for Benny to have on hand for the first few weeks after Baby Lilly arrives.  I did that for Carrie and it helped with the new baby jealousy.)

Sorry, I just keep going on and on about this.  It's weighing pretty heavy on my mind right now. 

One of my SIL's lives in Austin and she has offered to come and help out after the baby is born if I need her.  I have her on stand by.  Carrie talked to her boss and is taking a 4 day weekend to be here when Chris has her c-section.  And Mike (baby daddy) is also taking the first 4 days off after the c-section.  I will miss Butch tremendously, but we will make it.  Now I just pray that the baby is born healthy and that Chris has no problems with delivery/recovery.  (I can't help but worry about Lilly; Chris smoked and drank through the entire pregnancy--damn her.)

I certainly do appreciate every single note of encouragement y'all offered to me the past couple of days.  It has really helped to steady me.  I will probably come here often to vent on-line.  Feel free to tune me out if it gets old.  Just having a safe place to express all my feelings is such a big help.  And I love all my sistas!  You all are just the best.

My head still hurts, so I think it's time for some protein coffee drink and a couple of Tylenol.  I want to feel well today and enjoy my little mini-vacay with Butch.  Maybe a hot shower after the caffeine will chase the headache away.

Love you all!

Hope that your shower and caffeine help and the getting away part rejuvenates you. . . my thoughts and prayers are certainly with you as you go through this.

Best wishes, Laureen

Vickie-

Get a small notebook.  Label it We'll Talk About this after Vacay!  Everytime thoughts about Chris's situation come up, write them down close the notebook and move on.  Try to spend as much time as possible in the moment with Butch.  All this can be dealt with in two days after you and he have had some alone time together.  You are both tremendous parents to have done what you have for Chris and Benny, focus on yourselves for the next two days!  Enjoy your mini Vacay!

Cindi

Vickie....I am so happy you are going on your little mini vacation. It is just what you need. Private time for you and your honey. 

I agree with Cindi...take a notebook and write things down....leave them for when you get back. This is important for you and Butch. Make some good memories and enjoy intimate times together. 

You can post about this every day if you need to...I will always listen!!! You are a very special friend!! 

I wish I could fly out there and spend some with you...I would do that for you!! I have lots of free time but no money. Just like everyone else right!! I am right there in your heart and only a call or text away. Do you have my email address?  If not let me know and I will PM it to you right away.

Much love...huge hugs...prayers....connie d

Glad you are getting away with Butch ... you need some time alone with him, away from all the drama. I too worry about the health of the baby, but there's nothing you can do until the baby is born. She may need special care the rest of her life ... but, on the other hand, many of our parents smoked and drank throughout their pregnancies because they didn't know it was bad for the health of the baby, and most of us turned out OK. So who knows? 

I missed this somewhere ... where is Butch going after the baby is born? 

And as always, you can always vent here. It's a safe place.