Not For the Faint at Heart: Calling Old Timers--Your Help is Needed!!!
Gosh, I’m probably going to make some enemies here (truthfully, since the old timers have almost all left, I have not been one of the most well received members who comes back) or I could make some friends, but since I really want to see those who have wls succeed as I and other have, what the hell.
When I started coming to this board back in like 2005, it was a place where we had some very wise women and men who were able to share their experiences with what worked for them. True, there were some bitter jerks that had lost their weight but regained it and they were there on the cusp of the board just waiting to tear into the new folks. I believe they were miserable and wanted to drag others into their misery. I, like many others, overlooked the idiots and hung onto the words of those who talked about diet and exercise and how to avoid dumping. I learned from people like Darlene and Jeannie C and so many others, who talked about trying new foods in the privacy of your own home, follow the rules of the pouch, avoid glider foods, drink you water, and on and on. By the time I had my surgery, I knew so much but still the members helped me to ease back into very small amounts of food from the very restrictive post surgery liquid and then full liquid diet.
Over the course of the first few months of joining the board, post surgical folks passed around clothes that they under-grew and the first of the traveling pant**** AR from WA that started in FL. We shared low fat, low calorie recipes, we shared hints about how we handle hunger, and we discussed moving from no exercise to increased activity. For the longest time, we had the what are you eating and what’s eating you; move to the groove or are you moving to lose. This board, in my opinion, was one of the most useful and informative boards on the obesity site.
Lately, though, all of us old times have left the board and when I talk to those who have left we all pretty much say the same thing…the board changed. It no longer became a place where we share and disseminate information. Many of the members quit talking about weight loss but began focusing on weight gain and their helplessness to change. Others started posting recipes that, once I analyzed the caloric content, have no place on a WLS board.
While I appreciate that we all have problems, one thing I know about over eaters, we do not handle stress well nor do we handle reality well, so for this board to change from a board that offered support and information to a place where the focus is on failures and unhappiness breaks my heart.
This post is not for the faint of heart but for all the old timers who lurk. My question to the lurkers from times past and newbies, would you return if the board were to return to its former glory?
Just a suggestion -- maybe you could start a daily thread devoted solely to the topics you miss on OFF. People could either participate in it or not. I think that, while you might be right that some old timers aren't posting because that particular content may be missing from many posts, this forum is and should be open to all.
The "What's New?" thread serves a purpose in that it meets the needs of those who post to it. But, that is not to say a new WLS specific thread wouldn't be appreciated by many.
Just my thoughts.....
Cindy P.
Cindy,
The What's New thread is not a new type of thread and we have always had the what's new or what's up. I think the difference is not so much that we can and should use that thread as a general topic thread, but given that so many people rush in and post their gripes or news or whatever, there is little time devoted to those other threads that are so important for new people and old timers too such as what we are eating, how we are exercising, and the testimonials that were frequent on what we can do now that we couldn't do. I know for me, reading those posts gave me so much to look forward to and contribute. As time has moved on, the board has taken on a less uplifting tone to a more, crap, I have to post so I'm going to rush through this. It seems as if few people are committed to returning the board to its former glory. I think if you and a few others would have been involved back in the good ole days, you would see where the board was more of a learning and teaching space and not a crap...I am so ....and then this happened...and I am gaining weight....and eating crap.... I guess you would of have had to been there to have a reference from then to now.
I loved it back when we oldtimers were newcomers.........and I was so vulnerable and naive that I wanted to hear what everyone said about everything! Now I realize a lot of the talk is not about weight loss or ways of dealing with regain, etc. and more about just daily support which I think has huge value for many of us.
My WLS changed my life........I sometimes feel like I'm bragging when I say I've lost 165 lbs. and kept it off. My body is one of those strange organisms that just keeps on losing no matter what I eat!! I know I'm not typical!! But I think sharing our experiences, no matter how different we are, is valuable. I don't judge people's shares........but feel warmed that some are so willing to share their lives....good and bad!
One of my favorite words in the english language is "perspective." I believe we all see the world, everything through our own perspective which has been affected by our experiences. I love hearing how others perceive the world, their journey, and their challenges. I'm just not a very good OFF sister....I read, but I don't share that often. This IS a place that has helped many people, and especially me, and I'd love to return to more weight loss info but also feel that this is a place of support just as it is.
Aloha nui loa,
Maui Karen
Karen,
I am like you; I struggle to maintain a healthy weight and not lose too much. I miss my involvement in the board and have tried numerous times to come back and be relevant but I just don't connect to many of the folks now. While I love to read all of the updates, I also miss the weight loss talk. I know we are all so busy but there has to be some way to light a fire.
Are you still thinking of moving back to California?
I agree...I miss the old board but this board is helpful too. I loved all our old members and still do.It is wonderful when you posted as I always learned so much from you an so many others.
I do think we need to somehow get back to some to our helpful eating and weight loss venue. I am not sure how to go about it. Two separate posts...maybe??? I still would prefer just one. We all need the other support and getting to know each other too. I am willing to make some changes.
We all need to work together!!
Love and hugs...connie d
