Am I the only one who thinks WLS was a waste?
OK, I'm single...and not by choice.
With my DS I lost 245 pounds, and I look HOT and feel fantastic.
So...where are all the eligible middle aged men who were supposed to sweep me off my feet?
I wanna be like Blanche from "The Golden Girls"! (Well, not quite so ****ty...but you get my drift!)
That's not the reason I had my DS, but it certainly was one of the fringe benefits I was expecting!
HW 405/SW 397/CW 138/GW 160 Do the research! Check the stats!
The DS is *THE* solution to Severe Morbid Obesity!
I think you. Opened up a can of worms here! For mez, Im not looking for the men Im married and I lost my weight cause I was sick and diabetic and fat! Now im 135 and one hot mama!!!! I look good for me and I dont care if the men look or not!!!!! Ya ine approached me and asked me for a date in front of my husband! He thought my husband was my father! I didnt have my wedding ring on! well that day my husband got me a new one!!!!
My highest weight was 285 now give or take im 135.
Carla
I lost 180 pounds (have regained some) with my RNY. I am single by choice, although at one time I might have liked to have been married. Now, I'm happily single.
After I had my surgery and lost a few pounds and thought I looked pretty good, I went out on a few dates. I would have one date with a guy, thought we connected and then never hear from them again. I wondered what was wrong with me. Or, I'd hear from guys on online dating forums who were perverts or much older men or much younger men ... what did they want with me? They weren't what I was looking for and I had said so in my application.
After awhile, I decided it wasn't me; it was them. I was fine. I am fine. And I'm perfectly happy being single. I had my RNY to be healthier, so I wouldn't end up in a wheelchair (although the way my body is falling apart, that's still a distinct possibility). If I should meet someone, that would be fine. But so far, nothing's happened and I'm OK with that.
I certainly don't think WLS was a waste. I think it was the best thing I've ever had done. If the guys weren't going to come to me when I was obese (and I'm still a wonderful person despite the way I looked), then that's their loss. Don't sell yourself short. If it's meant to be that you find someone, you will. If not, enjoy finding friends and enjoy life in general in your new body.
Yeah, I won't ever do online dating again.
Against my better judgement, I took that plunge. First and final date ended up being a convicted rapist. I found out by doing a little background checking of my own, found court records. I confronted him, (by phone!), he owned up with the classic "I was framed" story.
HW 405/SW 397/CW 138/GW 160 Do the research! Check the stats!
The DS is *THE* solution to Severe Morbid Obesity!
Your post makes me wonder why you had the surgery. From the sounds of it, you only had one reason. To meet a great guy.
I had my surgery for a slew of reasons.
1. I was prediabetic.
2. I was on cholesterol medication.
3. I was in constant pain from arthritis in my knees, ankles and hips.
4. I have asthma, and would get short of breath walking up a flight of stairs.
5. I wore size 3X.
6. I couldn't fit in a normal MRI machine for a breast MRI, and had to go to a teaching hospital for a larger machine.
7. When I traveled by plane, I needed a seatbelt extender.
8. I was lonely, and hoped to meet a guy I could have a meaningful relationship with.
Well, I dated some guys, and they were jerks. Now that I'm healthier and don't have those same issues I had six years ago, I have a sense of self-worth that says, "I'm okay just the way I am, and I don't need a man to give my life value. I had the RNY surgery for me, and I'm content where I am. If I lose more, that's fine too. But, I'm fine with or without a guy in my life.
Albert Schweitzer
Patricia R.
I had the DS for many of the same reasons that you did, except I wore a snug 4X.
Even at my SMO weight, I was used to being coupled. I had dates...few...but at least I would get asked out. I had several relationships, and one long-term one. Unfortunately, that broke up during a time when I was dealing with a family illness, and could not relocate to a different city with him.
I did have health problems, high blood pressure, sleep apnea that went away. Some others that will not - bad knees, lupus, fibromyalgia, no matter what I weigh. They have become easier to manage, and I guess I could look at it as a good thing that I'm not burdening somebody with all my health issues.
I still get lonely, and it seems the only singles my age are undesirables...including me!
HW 405/SW 397/CW 138/GW 160 Do the research! Check the stats!
The DS is *THE* solution to Severe Morbid Obesity!
Vickie
I would hope you weren't expecting to find a man because to weigh less, because you size isn't always what attracts one to another. Perhaps you should look inward instead of outward.
Susan
Perhaps not...but it's a real downer when you've spent your whole life hearing..."All you need to do is lose weight"
And I do mean my whole life...at least from first grade onward. I have been SMO and all sizes in between. I remember what life was like at my smaller weights. It was good. Not good now, and I'm smaller than I was in college. Perhaps because of middle age, after all, most middle aged people, at least the good ones, are married. I don't like being in the reject pile!
It might seem insignificant to those of you who are coupled, and I'm laying odds that's about 99.9% of those *****plied.
HW 405/SW 397/CW 138/GW 160 Do the research! Check the stats!
The DS is *THE* solution to Severe Morbid Obesity!
Yes, I heard the same thing, "All you need to do is lose weight," "She has such a nice smile, if she wasn't so fat." ... etc. And also from first grade on, when I was called "chubby" "fatso," etc. I don't care if I'm single; I'm happy with my life. I have plenty of friends, married, single, whatever. I don't consider myself in the "reject" pile. I don't need a man to make my life complete.
