Middle of the night reflections.....

Aloha my friends/sisters........I seem to come in here when I need perspective, advice, answers to how to deal with everyday life. This night I cannot sleep...still thinking abut friend who died last week. Dying is normal.....we all have to go there, but wow it's hard to lose someone you love.

I guess we have all gone through the deaths of loved ones. Even with the help of all those who have experienced this many times, it still hurts when it happens to you love.

Good Morning Karen,

Yes, it hurts terribly when we lose someone we love.  One thing I've learned is that we have to work through the pain, or we just end up numbing out, and postponing that work.  That's what happened when I buried my father, and both of my brothers.  I didn't know how to work through emotional pain, until I had been in therapy a long time, and lost both my brothers so close to each other.  That's when I realized I hadn't worked through losing my father so long ago.  I'd used food, alcohol, and acting out my pain.  

Hugs,

Trish

Trish.....OMG I can't imagine what you have gone through!! Losing your brothers and your father! I think I did better losing my father and my mother because it was part of the way life is supposed to go. But losing someone young has to hurt terribly.

Thanks for your perspective.

Aloha nui loa,

Karen

Aloha Karen, 

Yes, Trish is right.  You have to let yourself go through it.  It hurts.  I'm so sorry, hon.

Vic

Thank you dear heart.......Going through it without going crazy is the name of the game. I think we get our strength from years of facing life's challenges, but somehow I don't feel like I can plug into that strength.I

I so appreciate your support.

Aloha nui loa,

Maui Karen

Karen....I am so sorry you are grieving so. My heart breaks for you.

It is never easy to lose someone but when that person is special it takes even longer. Take it a day at a time. So many people love and care about you, me included!! I am keeping you in my prayers.

I lost my close and dearest friend from High School almost two years ago now. He was my soul mate. We shared everything.  I still look at his picture and can't believe he is gone. I still feel a deep ache and a empty spot in my heart for him. It is a little easier but still very hard at times.

Give yourself time. This is still so fresh and new. I am right here for you!!

Love always and many gentle hugs....connie d

Thank you dear heart! I sometimes feel guilty for my "problems" when I hear about yours. But, on the other hand, you give me BIG TIMe support to try and get healthy and connectiom

Aloha

Karen

Karen,

If a stranger dies we feel bad. When a loved one dies we FEEL PAIN. heart wrenching, gut gnawing PAIN.

Have you tried either writing to your friend or sitting down and "talking" to her?

That might sound weird but I 'talk' to my Mom frequently when there is especially good news to share or to pour out my sadness. It is not the same as her sitting across the table but I know she hears me and often gives me a boot in the butt to stop whining and start doing.

Big hugs to you my friend.

Annette

After my father died in 1984, I had a lot of dreams about him. He was young and healthy. He looked like he did in the photos I had of him when he was married, way before I was born ... slim, broad shoulders, blond, wavy hair. And still, whenever I'm troubled, he comes to me in my dreams, sometimes the young man, sometimes the older one that I knew. 

When my friend Margie died, it took a long time before I dreamed of her, and that hurt a lot because I never got a chance to say goodbye. But eventually, I did dream of her, too, and her husband, Wally. She was telling me she was OK and she had forgiven Wally for hurting her so much while they were married.

It took a long time to get over Margie's death. I was angry and depressed and took it out on a lot of people. Only therapy and drugs got me through it, and the help of a lot of friends. 

Karen...first I want to say I am sorry for not posting earlier to you when you said your friend and neighbor had passed away...I feel so bad about that...it hurts like everyone says to lose someone you care about and even more so when you are close to them. My heart is heavy for you to go through this...know hat I keep you in my thoughts and prayers at this time.

HUGSSSSS