How do we deal with life and death of dear friends?

Aloha my friends......So many of us are going through the death of friends/family. I wonder how we deal with this.....as a child it seemed OK for our old family to die but now it seens so personalll I feel sad
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Karen, did you lose someone recently?

Aloha Susan...yes.. My dear friend and neighbr passed Tuesl I know she wanted to go but I still miss her so much.

Thank you for your caring,

Karen,

I was 19, and just had my first child, when my father died at the age of 51.  My baby brother was only 11 years old.  Then, in October 2006, six weeks after my RNY, my baby brother died at age 40.  Sudden death caused by massive pulmonary embolism.  Sixteen months later, my older brother had the exact same problem, and died at age 56.  

When Daddy died, my faith in God was very weak.  At times, even now, I get angry at the Lord for taking the men in my family.  But, what has gotten me through these times has been the recognition that God is sovereign.  He can do what He will do.  I have to trust that He knows what is best for my loved ones. 

I also have taken great comfort in the belief that my family members are in heaven, with the Lord, because of their faith in Him.  I still miss all three of them terribly.  I often envy families that still have their fathers and brothers with them.  But, losing all three of them has caused me to dig deeper into my faith and prayer life.

I hope this makes sense, in some small way.

Hugs and love,

Trish

Thank you sweet sister......I can't even imagine what u have gone through!!!

Aloha Trish....than k you for your words of comfort. I always thought I was a strong woman ,able to get through almost anything. Strange how the death of a dear, complicated woman can affect me. My condo manager called her "Our clown LADY."
She was that for sure....was a clown at MAUI MEMORIALfor years...giving her fun/laughter to every one.

How do we deal with it?  For me the emotions ebb and flow with no apparent pattern. One minute acceptance, the next tears and grief. Sadly, badly, and individually best describes how I react.

Eventually the hurt lessens Karen. Until that time, know you have friends who will do their best to give LOVE.

Annette

Aloha Annette.......I like your "ebb and flow" analogy. That is exactly what I have been experiencing. Tears over a commercial! Laughter at looking at old FUN pictures of things done together, and selfish internal fear. I get so much TLC and good suggestions from all of you on here. Starts my day on a good feeling.

My friend's daughter is planning her memorial........an outrigger canoe ritual with her ashes scattered at sea. We all take loose flowers and scatter them along with the ashes. Sad but so beautiful!

Please keep taking care of yourself............

Aloha nui loa,

Maui Karen

I am sorry for your loss, Karen, and for Eileen and Connie's recent losses, too.  If I missed someone, please forgive me. 

After my daddy died, I was grieving very hard.  A therapist had me write a letter to my dad.  It really helped.  I poured my heart out in that letter.  Then I sealed it and put it away in the family Bible.  I still think of Daddy often, but mostly with a wistful smile on my face.  I think how much he would have loved seeing Benny.  I think how much he would have loved my little herd of deer here.  I even thought of him this morning as I was painting, because he taught me the basics of painting and I can still hear his voice in my head.  Our loved ones never really leave us.  Sometimes this brings joy; sometimes it brings sadness. 

Mostly I think you just have to go through it as honestly as you can.  Let the feelings come out, don't try to suppress them, and acknowledge that you are forever changed by your friend's life and passing. 

Hugs and love!

Vic

Thank you sweet friend........always appreciate your comments and TLC.

Aloha nui loa,

Karen