Need to Vent
Hi Everyone,
I just need to dump a bunch of crap, which I mostly brought on myself, but had one of those awful days where nothing I planned went as I'd hoped. I'm going to ramble, but must talk to someone, and my AA sponsor is at work, and I can't get through this night without talking, or typing, to someone.
I am in a huge financial jam, mostly of my own making, but also because I cannot work part time, or can't find part time work, I can do without jeopardizing my benefits. If I could get paid for my volunteer work, that would be great, but right now I'm stuck right now.
Then, there is my forgetfulness. Today is Mom's birthday, and I had all intentions to send her flowers over the weekend, when I had money in my checking account, or send her something at least. BUT, when I was laid up after the car accident, I completely forgot to take care of Mom's birthday. Of course, I remembered it at 10:00 last night, and the only thing I could do was get some pictures of my grandchildren printed at Walmart, order them online, and buy them today with a little cash from my purse.
Well, today did not go as planned. I was getting ready to leave to go to my AA meeting this morning, when a friend from AA called to get a ride to and from the meeting. She lives pretty close, so I thought no problem. BIG mistake.
After the meeting, we stopped at Walmart, and the pictures weren't ready, in spite of the e-mail I got telling me they were. Then, I spent too much money of frames and packing materials, to enable me to ship the larger pics and make a nice gift. Then, the friend needed to stop at the U-Haul storage place to grab a few things out of her unit. Of course, she had trouble with the lock, and had to get help from an employee. So, instead of taking 5-10 minutes, it took 30. Okay, I thought I still had time to get home and pack Mom's gift and go to the post office. WRONG. Friend asked if I could take her to the food pantry near my apartment. I said, as long as it doesn't take too long. Well, that was a waste of my breath. The lady at the pantry was trying to help the friend get in touch with a shelter, because right now she is living with her son. So, I ended up dropping her off in just enough time to run to Burger King for some cheap chicken tenders and a diet Coke, and get to my volunteer job on time.
When I got there, I learned I can't get any money out of my checking account, like I thought I could. I had a headache, and couldn't find my Tylenol in my purse, and my hair, which was a disaster when I went to the meeting, was worse. I had planned on going home between the meeting and volunteer work and picking up my Tylenol and fixing my hair.
Then, I e-mailed my sister to see if I could borrow some cash, so I can send Mom's gift, and she has not replied. Now, understand, that Mom is not one to accept late gifts, or phone calls on her birthday. There is no pleasing her, as I have mentioned before. So, I'm just gonna ship this, if and when I get the money, and say, "F*** it" when it comes to her mentally ill attitude. There's no pleasing her, so why lose sleep over it by trying. I'll pay my dues, and let the chips fall where they may.
So, if you have read this far, I appreciate it. I don't need any help, just an understanding shoulder. I still have the headache, and I'm grateful I am home right now.
I mean, I love helping people by offering rides, but today, No Good Deed Went Unpunished. Then, I tried to put together an economical gift, but spent too much cash anyway, and can't ship it if I wanted to.
What a waste of energy?
The good news is, I made myself a set of photos of my Munchkins, so I console myself with those.
Thanks for being here.
Hugs,
Trish
I just need to dump a bunch of crap, which I mostly brought on myself, but had one of those awful days where nothing I planned went as I'd hoped. I'm going to ramble, but must talk to someone, and my AA sponsor is at work, and I can't get through this night without talking, or typing, to someone.
I am in a huge financial jam, mostly of my own making, but also because I cannot work part time, or can't find part time work, I can do without jeopardizing my benefits. If I could get paid for my volunteer work, that would be great, but right now I'm stuck right now.
Then, there is my forgetfulness. Today is Mom's birthday, and I had all intentions to send her flowers over the weekend, when I had money in my checking account, or send her something at least. BUT, when I was laid up after the car accident, I completely forgot to take care of Mom's birthday. Of course, I remembered it at 10:00 last night, and the only thing I could do was get some pictures of my grandchildren printed at Walmart, order them online, and buy them today with a little cash from my purse.
Well, today did not go as planned. I was getting ready to leave to go to my AA meeting this morning, when a friend from AA called to get a ride to and from the meeting. She lives pretty close, so I thought no problem. BIG mistake.
After the meeting, we stopped at Walmart, and the pictures weren't ready, in spite of the e-mail I got telling me they were. Then, I spent too much money of frames and packing materials, to enable me to ship the larger pics and make a nice gift. Then, the friend needed to stop at the U-Haul storage place to grab a few things out of her unit. Of course, she had trouble with the lock, and had to get help from an employee. So, instead of taking 5-10 minutes, it took 30. Okay, I thought I still had time to get home and pack Mom's gift and go to the post office. WRONG. Friend asked if I could take her to the food pantry near my apartment. I said, as long as it doesn't take too long. Well, that was a waste of my breath. The lady at the pantry was trying to help the friend get in touch with a shelter, because right now she is living with her son. So, I ended up dropping her off in just enough time to run to Burger King for some cheap chicken tenders and a diet Coke, and get to my volunteer job on time.
When I got there, I learned I can't get any money out of my checking account, like I thought I could. I had a headache, and couldn't find my Tylenol in my purse, and my hair, which was a disaster when I went to the meeting, was worse. I had planned on going home between the meeting and volunteer work and picking up my Tylenol and fixing my hair.
Then, I e-mailed my sister to see if I could borrow some cash, so I can send Mom's gift, and she has not replied. Now, understand, that Mom is not one to accept late gifts, or phone calls on her birthday. There is no pleasing her, as I have mentioned before. So, I'm just gonna ship this, if and when I get the money, and say, "F*** it" when it comes to her mentally ill attitude. There's no pleasing her, so why lose sleep over it by trying. I'll pay my dues, and let the chips fall where they may.
So, if you have read this far, I appreciate it. I don't need any help, just an understanding shoulder. I still have the headache, and I'm grateful I am home right now.
I mean, I love helping people by offering rides, but today, No Good Deed Went Unpunished. Then, I tried to put together an economical gift, but spent too much cash anyway, and can't ship it if I wanted to.
What a waste of energy?
The good news is, I made myself a set of photos of my Munchkins, so I console myself with those.
Thanks for being here.
Hugs,
Trish
Seek always to do some good, somewhere. Every man has to seek in his own way to realize his true worth. You must give some time to your fellow man. For remember, you don't live in a world all your own. Your brothers are here too.
Albert Schweitzer
Albert Schweitzer
Vickie,
I kept thinking of that children's book all throughout today. Thanks for understanding.
Hugs,
Trish
I kept thinking of that children's book all throughout today. Thanks for understanding.
Hugs,
Trish
Seek always to do some good, somewhere. Every man has to seek in his own way to realize his true worth. You must give some time to your fellow man. For remember, you don't live in a world all your own. Your brothers are here too.
Albert Schweitzer
Albert Schweitzer
Dear Trish 
.....so sorry you had such an awful day. Your mom is an adult and shouldn't need a gift from you. If it is late it is late. Not the end of the world. Don't put yourself down over this!
I too live on so much less money then I ever had. I am not working and I am living on disability. I have to think all the time before I dare go buy anything or go anywhere. This shouldn't be how old age should be. I am very emotional and embarrassed. I can't even live on my own.
Life sure has taken a turn around for some of us that's for sure. I will continue to pray for you. Be kind to yourself!! You are a wonderful and caring person!!
Love and hugs....connie d
.....so sorry you had such an awful day. Your mom is an adult and shouldn't need a gift from you. If it is late it is late. Not the end of the world. Don't put yourself down over this!I too live on so much less money then I ever had. I am not working and I am living on disability. I have to think all the time before I dare go buy anything or go anywhere. This shouldn't be how old age should be. I am very emotional and embarrassed. I can't even live on my own.
Life sure has taken a turn around for some of us that's for sure. I will continue to pray for you. Be kind to yourself!! You are a wonderful and caring person!!
Love and hugs....connie d
Hi Connie,
You are so sweet. I will be able to get some breathing room in October when I get to pay much less for medical care because I'll be on Medicare. Right now, I pay $760+ a month for my medical insurance, plus co-pays for doctors and prescriptions. My monthly expenses will drop to about $300 a month, plus smaller co-pays for doctors, and a little more for prescriptions. God blessed me with a retirement prescription plan that is a far cry better than the Medicare Part D plans available.
Mom does not expect expensive gifts but does appreciate an acknowledgement. I didn't put together anything extravagant. I just waited too long. My therapist keeps reminding me that my Mom is not mentally stable, and in his words is "Crazy" for saying some of the stuff she's said.
I'm much better now. Slept okay last night. Woke up hungry. Go figure.
Thanks for understanding,
Hugs,
Trish
You are so sweet. I will be able to get some breathing room in October when I get to pay much less for medical care because I'll be on Medicare. Right now, I pay $760+ a month for my medical insurance, plus co-pays for doctors and prescriptions. My monthly expenses will drop to about $300 a month, plus smaller co-pays for doctors, and a little more for prescriptions. God blessed me with a retirement prescription plan that is a far cry better than the Medicare Part D plans available.
Mom does not expect expensive gifts but does appreciate an acknowledgement. I didn't put together anything extravagant. I just waited too long. My therapist keeps reminding me that my Mom is not mentally stable, and in his words is "Crazy" for saying some of the stuff she's said.
I'm much better now. Slept okay last night. Woke up hungry. Go figure.
Thanks for understanding,
Hugs,
Trish
Seek always to do some good, somewhere. Every man has to seek in his own way to realize his true worth. You must give some time to your fellow man. For remember, you don't live in a world all your own. Your brothers are here too.
Albert Schweitzer
Albert Schweitzer
Hi Trish - so sorry you had such a challenging day. I too am a recoving alcoholic and know how the little things, expecially the money things, can get to us. I've been sober for nearly 8 years and I'm still waiting for the promise....that fear of financial insecurity will leave us...to come true...I see glimpses from time time but they're usually pretty short lived.
Hugs, and tomorrow will be better!
Hugs, and tomorrow will be better!
Chris
Don't quit before the miracle...
Don't quit before the miracle...
Hi Chris,
Thanks for understanding. I have a lot to be grateful for, especially for my sobriety. God has been good to me in that I have not had the desire or obsession to drink since surrendering in rehab more than two and a half years ago. This is not my first trip through AA. I just hope it's my last. I work the Steps, and surrender everyday.
God is good, all the time.
Hugs,
Trish
Thanks for understanding. I have a lot to be grateful for, especially for my sobriety. God has been good to me in that I have not had the desire or obsession to drink since surrendering in rehab more than two and a half years ago. This is not my first trip through AA. I just hope it's my last. I work the Steps, and surrender everyday.
God is good, all the time.
Hugs,
Trish
Seek always to do some good, somewhere. Every man has to seek in his own way to realize his true worth. You must give some time to your fellow man. For remember, you don't live in a world all your own. Your brothers are here too.
Albert Schweitzer
Albert Schweitzer
Hi Eileen,
My financial mess is of my own making. I'm lousy with budgeting. I used to lack discipline in everything. Now, I lack it in my finances. Slowly pulling myself together. Food, alcohol, money, other things that are self-defeating.
I'll get my finances together in God's time. As we say in AA, This too shall pass.
Thanks,
hugs,
Trish
My financial mess is of my own making. I'm lousy with budgeting. I used to lack discipline in everything. Now, I lack it in my finances. Slowly pulling myself together. Food, alcohol, money, other things that are self-defeating.
I'll get my finances together in God's time. As we say in AA, This too shall pass.
Thanks,
hugs,
Trish
Seek always to do some good, somewhere. Every man has to seek in his own way to realize his true worth. You must give some time to your fellow man. For remember, you don't live in a world all your own. Your brothers are here too.
Albert Schweitzer
Albert Schweitzer
Oh, I understand all about lack of discipline with money ... I have never had it. Which is how I ended up with two bankruptcies. I still have problems budgeting. I am no good with money. I really do not buy things I don't need now (really, I don't ... I am not spending on QVC at all anymore, contrary to others' beliefs) and do not go out at all ... well, it hurts to go out. I don't go to movies because it hurts, so I'd rather watch at home in my own recliner. Don't have a gym membership, too expensive, no other hobbies ... watch baseball at home, football at home. I buy food, gas and other essentials. Yet, I still overspend somehow.
Good luck on the budget. It's a pain in the ass.
Good luck on the budget. It's a pain in the ass.
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