Wednesday Happenings

Good afternoon Trish and everyone...

I agree there are so many in need of prayers here right now. I am keeping them in mine!! Hope Debbie's surgery goes well.

Well, I am no longer helping my BFF Pam. Her ass of a boyfriend has decided he is in charge now. He is awful....no one likes him but her. He is very manipulating and controlling. He tried it with me and that didn't work for him! Pam is not thinking clearly at all. Her thoughts are so messed up. Her speak is still slow and monotone and very slurred. She can't hardly walk with a walker much less do stairs. He said HE is her help now. He has a serious sleeping disorder and falls asleep at the drop of a hat. Pam has never had a serious boyfriend. She is so desperate to have one....any one! Everyone says so even her family. She has to let him do things his way or she is afraid he will leave her. He is taking advantage of her and her money. He lives on welfare and gets about $230 a month and food stamps and a rental discount.  She is being used!! He said he got a driving permit on the Internet and will be taking her shopping and such. He has to have her in the car as she is a licensed driver. She is supposed to be resting not running up and down flights of stairs to and from her car. He took her to Walgreen's last night.  When I left she could hardly function. She is always so tired and can hardly stay awake. I contacted her family and explained the situation to them. They are just sick about it. They totally understand that I have to go with her/his wishes. My Therapist and Psychiatrist have said I can not be around him for any reason. It has been like that since day one. Something about him causes red flags to fly with me. I did what I could do. I told her several times I love her and if she needs me to call. She wants him taking care of him so there is nothing I can do. I pray she doesn't get feeling worse or in  a car accident!

I am enjoying my day. I slept in. I then went tanning!!  Something I haven't done for me for 2 weeks! I went to the grocery store and got fresh fish and lots of fruit and vegetables. I now have MY life back!! I am sad about Pam but I can't let it take over my life.

I hope to now keep up with all you wonderful friends!! I sure have missed you all!!!

Thanks for letting me vent. It helped!!

Love  and many hugs to all.....connie d

Connie...what about calling adult protective services on this creep??? Might be an idea to get him away from her!!!

Hang in there...thoughts and prayers always!!

HUGS

Thank you my OFF sistas,

I am sorry to report that things have gone from bad to worse here this morning.  I am leaving here tomorrow.  I have Christie's permission to take Benny with me.  I am going home to Nacogdoches and I don't know how long I will stay.  I told Chris one week, but Butch does not come home for THREE more weeks.  I cannot and will not stay here alone with Chris again.  It is an impossible situation.

I do try not to burden you all with all the details, but let me just tell you one thing to illustrate how out of control things have become around here.  After yet another huge altercation this morning, I decided the only thing I could do--again--was leave the house.  Chris literally body blocked me from going out the back door.  She stood with her back to the door and turned the deadbolt behind her back, all the while screaming at me.  I was NOT going to engage in a physical fight with her for control of the door, you know?  So I turned around and went out the side kitchen door.  She wasn't quick enough to beat me to the door, but she followed me around the side of the house, screaming the whole time.  I got in my car, locked the doors and turned on the ignition, only to look up and see her standing right behind the car, screaming and daring me to run her over.  All of this in full view of all our neighbors.  I can just imagine what they must think.

We sat there like that for several very long minutes.  I just cranked up the music and ignored her.  After all, she couldn't very well get to me while I was inside a locked car.  She finally gave up after kicking my car and banging on the back window and stormed back into the house.  Then I drove to a little neighborhood park and called my mom and cried for the next hour.  And I made up my mind to leave.  This is insane.  I cannot live like this.  I will not do it.

Your prayers must be working because somehow I convinced Chris about an hour ago to let Benny come home with me for a "visit".  She just left for work.  I am going to pack up all our stuff and load the car up this evening.  Benny and I are out of here first thing in the morning.  My heart is just sick with this turn of events, but I must hold on for just a little while longer.  After I get Benny out of here, I will think what to do next.

Please continue to lift me and my family up in prayer.  We need divine guidance, intervention and help.  Love you all,

Vic

Sweet Vickie,
You are doing the right thing for your sanity, and Benny.  I'll be praying for God to give you wisdom as you decide what your next step is.

I'm going to share with you some personal information about myself.  I used to treat my husband the way you described Christie treating you during her temper tantrum.  It was more of a temper tantrum, which would fit my diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder more than my Bipolar Disorder.  Once you get calmed down, you might want to Google it, and see the symptoms that fit the diagnosis.   In addition to medication, for my Bipolar Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder is really only helped with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.  

Once you have Benny safe from Christie's irrational behavior, it might be a good idea to insist she get help, at least a psychiatric evaluation, or begin psychotherapy, before considering coming into contact with her again.  Keep Benny.  He doesn't need that chaos at his young age.  Nor any age for that matter.

I'd be happy to discuss anything with you.  I've been in psychotherapy and on medications for at least 23 years.  My poor behavior hurt my children and destroyed my marriage.

Hugs and love,
Trish


 

Sorry for what you are going through, Vickie. At least you can get Benny out of there. My cousin grew up with a bipolar mother, but this was before much was known about the condition ... her mom was in the mental hospital a lot with a so-called "nervous" condition. She was raised by her mom's relatives after my uncle drowned, and her mom kept her away from her grandma and all the relatives on her dad's side. We rediscovered her about 10 years ago, and she reconnected with my mom, uncle and Aunt Kay ... she got to meet Uncle Norb and Aunt Kay before they died. She always thought maybe her life would have taken a different path had she not been kept from her dad's side of the family. You will do the best you can for Benny. Chris needs help, but only she can get that help, not you. You're in my thoughts.

(((Vickie))) I am so sad that you have to go through this with your daughter!!! It has to be one of the hardest things you have to do!!! Wish there were something that could be done but if she doesn't want the help you can't force her...but maybe IF you called the police when she is like that and she was committed maybe then she might get the help she needs?? Just a thought...my thoughts and prayers are with you always!!!

HUGS

Vickie, it sounds to me that you have made the only rational decision. My prayers are with you of course. I am also praying that 1) Chris does not wreck your house and/or 2) she doesn't call the cops and accuse you of kidnapping Benny.
I hope you can hold her off until your DH gets home. Chris needs some major help, unfortunately she is an adult and you can't force it on her.
I suppose you could petition the court to appoint you as Benny's temporary guardian. But will that help or hurt the situation? And can you take on that responsibility all alone?
God is with you, have faith in Him.

Aloha OFF family.........What a place this is! So much support through difficult times, and wonderful that almost every situation has someone who can add their experience and help each of us going through one particular CHALLENGE or another!

I have been a clinical psychologist for many years, and in this forum I see some of the best therapy I have ever experienced. Sometimes just knowing that you are not alone can make the difference between moving through something or going down for the count!

I try and put myself into the shoes of each of you going through something traumatic and wonder if I could handle it as well as you all are. Decisions made under the pressure of "need to do something now!" can be so scary. I feel great admiration for those of you who somehow get through these situations and move on to better living, better health, and hopefully better relationships. It isn't easy!!!

Oh I so wish sometimes I had a magic wand!! But since I don't I just trust this amazing group to help each other through whatever life throws at us.

With so much love and respect for all of you,

OXOX

Maui Karen

Karen, it is so interesting that we come here to discuss virtually everything with our 'virtual' friends. I am so happy everyone here is here! I feel like I am talking to a counselor! Everyone listens, no one judges. God knows I love you all!

Aloha again...You are so right!! I tell my friends about this forum and they just don't get it. They think all forums friends fight and judge and insult. Well, it doesn't happen here...or rarely.

I so hope your situation turns out good for you. I really deeply appreciate your being so open with us all.

Aloha nui loa,

Karen