TGIF- What's Happening?
Greetings OFF Family,
Well, another sleepless night. I had a nice evening with family at my sis-in-law's having barbecued steak and chicken, and losing two games of Scrabble. When I got home, I got a message from a woman I have been mentoring. Let me vent about it, if you're willing to read about it.
When I was a baby Christian, struggling with my bad marriage and my mental health issues, I asked a friend to mentor me in my faith. A Spiritual mentor is like an AA sponsor, except it has to do with the Bible, in my case, and prayer. Ruth was so patient and wise with me. She was the first person whose boundaries I respected from day one. She is one of two people who helped me grow emotionally and Spiritually. The other person is my therapist. I always prayed that I would have the opportunity to pay it forward, and mentor a baby Christian someday.
Well, last year, I met a woman in AA, a baby Christian, with a horrific drug/alcohol past, and the same mental health issues as me. As we got to know each other, she started seeking my advice on Spiritual matters. Her husband and children despise her right now, because of her 16 year relapse with every street drug there is. She has a myriad of health issues, can't work because of them, doesn't drive, and constantly needs medical care.
She has been going to church and Bible study with me. She has been advised by various women at chur*****luding me, to not interact with her family, because every interaction ends up being a fight. Her husband has made it clear he does not want to talk to her, or hear her complain about how her teenage daughters talk to her, or what they do. He will always take their side.
So, today, she texted me that she had a fight with her oldest daughter, even after that daughter asked her to stop. Then, she texted and called her husband at work about something the daughter was doing, after what he has repeatedly told her. I told her to apologize and ask for forgiveness, even if she knows they won't forgive her. She told me she was going to go to the AA clubhouse to hang out and get in a meeting. She can walk there from her house.
I went out for the evening and when I got home there was a garbled voicemail from her. She was crying and upset, and I couldn't understand part of it. What I did hear was that she talked to a woman at the clubhouse, who does not know all of the background or facts, about her family problems. That woman told her to move out of her house. Now, my friend does not want to move out, and has been encouraged to stay and keep working on herself, by me and the women at church. She repeatedly goes to the clubhouse, gets advice contrary to the advice we give her, gets upset, and cries to me about it. If she were to move out, she would have no place to go, no means of transportation for appointments, and no way to pay for her medical expenses.
Well, tonight, I reached my limit. I texted her and told her that if she kept going to the clubhouse and telling the women there her family problems, I would stop mentoring her. I don't want to be bothered with her asking for my advice only to have her go blab all her problems to women who don't know her, who don't understand her mental health issues, nor do they understand her role in the family dynamics. Then, call me all upset because she doesn't like their advice? Why do I bother helping her in the first place? She just ignores me and does what she wants anyway, and gets upset and cries on my shoulder after it's all said and done.
I feel like I've been enabling her by letting it go on and on. So, tonight, I reached my limit and had to let her know it's not going to continue.
Sorry for venting. I had to get it out.
Hugs,
Trish
Well, another sleepless night. I had a nice evening with family at my sis-in-law's having barbecued steak and chicken, and losing two games of Scrabble. When I got home, I got a message from a woman I have been mentoring. Let me vent about it, if you're willing to read about it.
When I was a baby Christian, struggling with my bad marriage and my mental health issues, I asked a friend to mentor me in my faith. A Spiritual mentor is like an AA sponsor, except it has to do with the Bible, in my case, and prayer. Ruth was so patient and wise with me. She was the first person whose boundaries I respected from day one. She is one of two people who helped me grow emotionally and Spiritually. The other person is my therapist. I always prayed that I would have the opportunity to pay it forward, and mentor a baby Christian someday.
Well, last year, I met a woman in AA, a baby Christian, with a horrific drug/alcohol past, and the same mental health issues as me. As we got to know each other, she started seeking my advice on Spiritual matters. Her husband and children despise her right now, because of her 16 year relapse with every street drug there is. She has a myriad of health issues, can't work because of them, doesn't drive, and constantly needs medical care.
She has been going to church and Bible study with me. She has been advised by various women at chur*****luding me, to not interact with her family, because every interaction ends up being a fight. Her husband has made it clear he does not want to talk to her, or hear her complain about how her teenage daughters talk to her, or what they do. He will always take their side.
So, today, she texted me that she had a fight with her oldest daughter, even after that daughter asked her to stop. Then, she texted and called her husband at work about something the daughter was doing, after what he has repeatedly told her. I told her to apologize and ask for forgiveness, even if she knows they won't forgive her. She told me she was going to go to the AA clubhouse to hang out and get in a meeting. She can walk there from her house.
I went out for the evening and when I got home there was a garbled voicemail from her. She was crying and upset, and I couldn't understand part of it. What I did hear was that she talked to a woman at the clubhouse, who does not know all of the background or facts, about her family problems. That woman told her to move out of her house. Now, my friend does not want to move out, and has been encouraged to stay and keep working on herself, by me and the women at church. She repeatedly goes to the clubhouse, gets advice contrary to the advice we give her, gets upset, and cries to me about it. If she were to move out, she would have no place to go, no means of transportation for appointments, and no way to pay for her medical expenses.
Well, tonight, I reached my limit. I texted her and told her that if she kept going to the clubhouse and telling the women there her family problems, I would stop mentoring her. I don't want to be bothered with her asking for my advice only to have her go blab all her problems to women who don't know her, who don't understand her mental health issues, nor do they understand her role in the family dynamics. Then, call me all upset because she doesn't like their advice? Why do I bother helping her in the first place? She just ignores me and does what she wants anyway, and gets upset and cries on my shoulder after it's all said and done.
I feel like I've been enabling her by letting it go on and on. So, tonight, I reached my limit and had to let her know it's not going to continue.
Sorry for venting. I had to get it out.
Hugs,
Trish
Seek always to do some good, somewhere. Every man has to seek in his own way to realize his true worth. You must give some time to your fellow man. For remember, you don't live in a world all your own. Your brothers are here too.
Albert Schweitzer
Albert Schweitzer
Hello sisters,
Just a quick post. We are at the surgery center this morning. Butch had a physical yesterday and the doc found a lot of blood in his stool. Not sure what it is yet. Having a colonoscopy and egd to check things out. I am so scared it might be another cancer. He's already survived bladder cancer and prostate cancer. Please pray for him this morning. And I will post later on this morning with an update.
Just a quick post. We are at the surgery center this morning. Butch had a physical yesterday and the doc found a lot of blood in his stool. Not sure what it is yet. Having a colonoscopy and egd to check things out. I am so scared it might be another cancer. He's already survived bladder cancer and prostate cancer. Please pray for him this morning. And I will post later on this morning with an update.
Vickie
Hi Vickie,
Praying for Butch and you this morning.
Hugs,
Trish
Praying for Butch and you this morning.
Hugs,
Trish
Seek always to do some good, somewhere. Every man has to seek in his own way to realize his true worth. You must give some time to your fellow man. For remember, you don't live in a world all your own. Your brothers are here too.
Albert Schweitzer
Albert Schweitzer
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