Thought for the evening

Thought for the Day... Posted: 12 Mar 2012 02:26 AM PDT A few weeks ago I was tempted to put off a high-priority job because somebody needed something from me and said it was urgent. The truth is what they needed from me was urgent, it just wasn’t urgent for me. What they needed was going to help them get their job done. --Don Miller What will be urgent for you today?  Your health?  Your happiness? (your Farmville farm?)  Being at the beck and call of anyone who needs something you can provide? Is there a better way to balance those needs this week???

Thanks Debbiejean

Hi Debbie Jean...how interesting that this parfticulat thought should be posted right now.

I have been out of my social & work fields since the beginning of November , my cancer surgery being Nov 8th. I warned those involved in my work and in my groups, that I would be absent for a fair amount of time.

This is because I am extremely sensitive to drugs (anesthesia), allergic to adhesive (which complicates dressings of incisions, etc), my sensitivity to drugs also makes it very difficult for me torecuperate easily/normally and my fishbelly white Irish skin is so thin & sensitive that needles cause alot of damage. I am 63, not 23, and I have found that I no longer bounce back like I used to..I'm a type A to some degree and have lived a hectic life doing everything for everyone, including alot of volunteer community work and advocacy groups as well as my artwork and lifepath councelling.

So now I am down, five months after surgery and just completed my five weeks of daily radiation treatments out of town. I recived an email last week from my friend and mentor-teacher. Appartently I no longer fit into our five year-long core group for LifePath education because I have been absent. My Certifications prepared me to work counselling clients with various issues.  But now, my "friend" has blatantly told me that since I chose not to accept her invitatrion to take a course of study to which she subscribes now, that she will "no longer support (meaning being associated with my work) me and my work.  I was shocked, needless to say.  It was not a CHOICE to NOT take the course but rather simply it was that I did not have the energy or focus to study heavyduty theory. It is very apparent that this person has never experienced battling cancer, the side effects of treatment and how it drains and exhausts someone, every day being a challenge just to get up, wash, dress, have treatment and home to bed. Even my no-nonsense, let's get going hubby "gets it"...he has seen me struggle every day thru this. Despite my postive attitude, my physical being has felt weighed down (yes, bad choice of words in a WLS forum...lol) with cement blocks on each foot & a hundred pound pack on my back. He jknows how often I deal with hot flashes in clusters til I drip sweat from my scalp to between my breast (sorry for the gory details) and lower and how I toss and turn at night unable to sleep due to severe deep bone pain, all lovely side effects of Arimidex, the pill I have to take as part of my treatment, for five years..actually 4 years, ten months and 23 days still.

So will someone tell me why a highly-educated, professional woman is so thoughtless (ignorant, rigid thinker) as to expect me to jump right back into the work when I am so incapable right now (read: drained, hurting, struggling to just "be" )?    Or is the problem actually me? I am so grateful that I was able to withdraw into my home and family and stop worrying about all the pressures outside that I always dealt with. I had prepared for my absense to make it all easier for everyone else.

If my progress isn't fast enough to suit other's plans, I guess then that my response is " keep going, I will or may not catch up one day".  I apologize for complaining but wow, her message blew me away. I GET that life has been passing me by while I focus on my battle but I feel such a lack of patience and understanding from someone that I so admired. I fell blind-sided, hurt and frustrated. But I have honoured my emotions, rode thru them and then let them go..no anger..no negative emotions left..they serve no further purpose in my life. You just never know what challenges or roadblocks you can run into. *s* 

I guess this is an example of what is urgent to some, is not always urgent to another.

Nancy B

 

Wow Nancy, I'm sending you hugs and well wishes. Keep on your path of wellness. It's takes time especially when we are older and yep, we don't bounce back like when we were younger.

Now as for that friend/mentor you had, she needs some slapping right up side that over grown head of hers. I'd just drop her a line and tell her that you are just making in though each day and dealing with health issues. No way can you take her course right now. You don't need that pressure and besides...her reasoning to you is all wrong, wrong and more wrong.

Nancy you just hang in there, count your blessings with that lovely hubby of yours and your family. It's okay to let yourself go, feel the pain/suffering that your going thought right now. It's okay to kick back and tell yourself "this is my time to heal and I have to take care of myself before I can take care of others".

Nope, it's not urgent at all to take her course right now. Hug yourself. You have a great attitude. You are loved and appreciated! God Bless you. Debbie

Debbie....a lot of urgencies in my week....doing my best to trudge on through. Making a few changes as well.
Still staying back to basics...it is working!!

HUGS....connie d

Connie, your doing great! Going back to basics is a challenge but it can be done! Whooooo!