Weighing myself.....
Some of what we discussed in yesterday's support group was just that, the fact that we have always allowed and determined our success by a number, either the scale or size of our clothes, that we have a new obsession and that ultimately where we must try to go is accepting ourselves as we are, which is not throwing up our hands and saying, I give up, but learning that at a certain point in time, the scale is just a monitoring device, one to indicate that we may have to change something we are doing and that it will fluctuate 2 to 5 lbs. and that is normal, we know if those pounds are that grab a handful of pretzels here and a pack of cookies there and that ultimately is what we want to stay on top of. I did not have this surgery to not be able to enjoy my life, I had it to be healthier and mobile and I have achieved that, but now I have to keep myself honest and the truth is the scale is not what I have to focus on. I have to log my food and know what I am putting into my body and I have to be physical in some fashion, those two things generally take some of the power of that number I read when I step on my scale.
You are not alone and I wish you daily joys!
Hugs, Laureen
My Mantra is that I do not determine my success by the number hanging in my closet, nor will I let the scale determine that success either. . . It is through trial and error I will continue to grow and succeed. . . Laureen
"Success is a journey, not a destination." Ben Sweetland
Lois,
I have always, always had scale phobia. When I weighed over 500 pounds, the phobia was that the scale wasn't able to weigh me--yes, I had to either go to the post office and get weighed or go to the hospital and get weighed on the laundry scale. Then, I started working at losing weight and got down small enough below 400 to be weighed on my doctor's scales, so I only weighed when I went to my PCP. After wls, I closed my eyes at every visit to my wls surgeon. I didn't want to see the scale go up or down. I still have that same fear of the scale and only weigh when I go to the doctor. I just don't want that stress of if it goes up or goes down.
I have the same feeling when I shop and I know it's because of the large size clothes that I once wore. Now, when I go to buy clothes, I still start out at a size way too big.
Us big gals have been so damaged by the clothing industry and having normal size models--size 12--be considered full figured or big butted. My body image is so skewed that even now, I cannot see myself so small. I keep thinking I am huge. When I was huge, I thought I was small. There are scholars who have studied the body image perception of obese women at their heaviest and after they lose weight.
Anyway it's like the Dali Lama said about Americans: We are so busy worrying about money, making money, worrying about keeping money--working, worrying about getting the perfect job, keeping the perfect job--etc, that we just spend our entire life not living. Well, I greatly paraphrased him, but the point is that we are like that with out weight. One of my cousins said to me once, wow, you have lost so much weight, how in the hell did you do it: I told her that I started living.
Leave the scales alone and live in your present and enjoy your size that you are and that you will or have become. Don't fret over the numbers--like others have said, go by how you feel.
