I hit 140# today!

Good morning one and all,

Well, I hit 140 lbs today. Five years ago it was a reason to celebrate. Not so much this morning. More like a reason to cry. My lowest weight was 117#, but it was after being sick, and I looked frail and unhealthy. For two years I stayed at exactly 123-125, wore a size 2-4 and enjoyed hearing people telling me how tiny or petite I was. In January 2011, weighing 130#,  I had plastics and thought my journey was complete.
Over the last 10 months I've gained up to 140 lbs. I'm sick over this!  I refuse to buy bigger clothes and allow myself to fall into that trap and cycle again! Actually, I decided that 5lbs ago, a lot of good that decision did for me.
I have been cycling, walking and logging my food. No changes, in fact, the scale continues to creep up.Panic is starting to take hold, and I'm really freaking scared to death. Yeah, I still wear a 4-6/medium, so most people tell me that I look great, but that's not what I'm hearing in my head.  My head tells me that this was another attempt at weight loss that I failed at. If I gain 2 more pounds I'll be out of the "normal" BMI and into the "overweight" catagory. **** damn!

For a very long time I posted the "what are you eating" thread daily, and right about the time I stopped doing that is when I think I started to regain. If I start doing it again, would anyone be interested in sharing their daily meal plans?  I love Debbie's Mindful Eating thread, and read it daily, but maybe the combination of that and public accountability will help me.

Any thought, suggestions, kicks in the Ass would help tremendously!

Susan,

I haven't been in your shoes (yet!), so I can't claim to know how you feel.  But I'm willing to help in any way that I can.  If you want to start posting your "what are you eating" thread again, I'll happily participate.

{{{HUGS}}}

Susan,

I don't know what to tell you.  You and I were both unlucky to have had to go in and have revision to gain weight.  I am at 140 but I am almost 5'5" tall so that keep me at a healthy BMI.  I have been there for a while and don't think that I am going to gain but I have to struggle with what I eat and what I do.  

I can only tell you to cut back to below a thousand calories and see if you start losing.  You might need to do the five day liquid diet.  

Also, you might need to change your exercise routine up a little.  Sometimes it is not the exercise but the exertion.  Are you increasing your heart rate?  If not, you are walking, peddeling, or dancing too slowly.   

I don't know if I would have time to post every day on the food thing, but I would read it.  And, I am such a boring and predicatable eater that I hate to read what I am doing.  Plus, when I post what I eat, I get messages from well meaning members that I am not getting enough of this or that.  My labs are always good and I don't drink protein shakes nor do I get any of the recommended requirements.  But, like I said, I think if the posting helps you, you should go after it.  

It's about time this board got back to the basics of thinking and writing about weightloss.  

 

Whe I first started doing that thread, I would comment on what people were eating to offer suggestions or whatever. Some people stopped posting, so I kind of felt that maybe I was butting in where I wasn't wanted, so I stopped commenting on those posts.....just posted my stuff and maybe did an occaional "way to go" message.

Believe it or not, I belong to not one, but TWO gyms. I was really getting into exercising when I had a breast cancer scare (all is well, thankfully), but I was such an emotional wreck for about 10 days that I stopped going. Gary's work schedule is changing, so he'll be gone 12 hours a day, no reason and lots of opportunities to get my rear back into gear.

Good.  You have every opportunity to get back on track.  I use the gym at the university and do all my running inside on the treadmill.  I actually have a couple of my students who meet me and run with me, so it is kind of fun.  I do my running before my day begins or after, depending upon the day.  

You and I both know that the weightloss afforded us in the beginning was a gift: it was easy, effortless, and guranteed.  But, the one part of us all that is a carry over from evolution is that our gut evolves back into that useful machine.  We have that year or two and unless we get sick (you and I did) the weightloss stops being effortless and we have to make it happen.  That's where a lot of folks miss out on the one thing the year or two is meant to give us: time to change.  I am as guilty as the next about having the food issues, but I want to scream when I read about people in the early months out from surgery already pushing the pouch.  

Get back to the gym and start counting your calories. I use the food app on my iphone that not only counts the calories but tells me how much calories I burn with each of my activities.  I have no reason to fail.  

You can do this.  Remember your determination is the one characteristic that defines you as a success at anything.   

I don't think that I ever thought your advice was meant in a bad way.  I think for me it was that I was getting the courage to write about my eating woes, and a couple of well meaning folks were making an issue about my issue.  So, if we all decide to record our food, we should make a point of saying that it is a safe zone and no judgements.  But, if we ask, we could offer what has worked for us.  I mentioned to Connie that for us old timers, we might want to do three threads: 1) the food diary and you do that one so well; 2) a preventing grazing thread and Connie might can take that one on; 3) The benefits of moving and I would be willing to provide information that has worked for me.

 

Susan.....thank you for this post.

I am almost exactly where you are. I was 118 and am now 142. People say I look good but I feel horrible. I don't like the direction I am headed. I know I was too skinny at 118...I actually looked sick but I would rather be there then where I am now. My scale is slowly creeping up and I cry over it all the time. I know it is my fault as I do graze on the wrong stuff too often.

I am going to copy and print off Jeannie's post and try my best to win this battle!!

Love ya....hugs.....connie d

Connie,

I think we are fear that regain yo-yo thing of the past where we struggled to lose only to rebound with more.  But, with our pouches, we know that we can make it work for us.  We just need to find that mind space and not let our minds win.  Grazing is the worst thing in the world for us because, as you know, we end up tolerating more calories.  If you feel compelled to graze, maybe you could keep some dense protein on hand like turn, chicken, or steak.  Then, your grazing will only be a little cause the meat will fill you up.  I keep small cans of tuna, chicken, and vienna sausages for those times that I just absolutely cannot resis the urge to eat.  One vienna sausage will fill me up and a small can of tuna fills me for hours.  So, provide grazing snacks that are not gliders.  

Also, I have found that some of my urges to graze follow stressful or emotional events in my day.  I have started using those moments as a way to take a walk instead of eating.  I just tell my student workers that I will be back in fifteen minutes and off I go.  

You, Susan, and the rest of us should start a thread that addresses urges.  I guess Susan will be great at the food thing, and I am willing to post a few times a week on exercises, do you think you could post a few times a week about grazing or avoiding grazing? 

Jeannie.......Thanks for all the great advice!!!

I would like to post about grazing but. I don't feel that I could give good advice on that subject as I am the one that needs the help. This is a hard time for me for many reasons. Thanks so much for asking. I am sure you can find someone more knowledgeable on this subject. Maybe at a later date I will feel more confident about giving advice.

Thanks again!!

Hugs and love....connie d

My dear wonderful Susan,
Please don't cry over a weight gain and don't feel like a failure.
Kicks in the Ass won't help either.
We have had a lifetime of eating/gaining/losing/regaining/losing/gaining even more.

The thing is not to give up at all. Just look at what your doing and why. YOU are a success.
For some reason the number on the scale is freaking you out so don't weigh yourself. Take pictures/measurements instead. The scale is just one unit of measure.
This thing we battle...our weight is for lifetime. Everyone knows this. The WLS is just a step/tool or whatever you want to call it.

Some people need more accountability. Some people go back to Weigh****chers and Nutri System or some other diet.

So I say start the "what are you eating thread again". I loved to see what people are eating. I also see who are really strict with themselves. They waver off their menu and then they feel like a failure. Why feel like a failure??? Don't even put failure in our minds. Not for me. It is what it is.
A size 4/6 is small/petite. Really you might now have an issue inside that beautiful brain that because you hit 140 your FAT! Ugh...honey you are not fat.
I'm with Dr. Oz who has said over and over again, if your heavy and exercise and your healthy your better off than a thin person who DOESN'T exercise and eat right.

So hold your head up high, smile and remember you are still a size 4/6. Nothing wrong with that.  Now...it you really felt better at 130 or 120 then I say go for it. Start moving and just eat 3 bites less for each meal. That is 9 pounds lost in a year. So what if it takes you a year to lose weight to your "magic number".

Okay so today, I got up early drank a cup of coffee and off to church. After church we went to fellowship and I took out a banana to eat. No cookies for me. Of course the ladies at church pointed out I was eating a banana and one gal said "hell no, I want the cookies" okay she can stop at one but I can't. I love cookies. Even potato chips. Now this gal admitted she couldn't have chips in her house (she isn't overweight at all). We all make concessions in our life. We will have to for us every day for our weight. Sometime the decisions are good sometimes not and I will tell you all I'm not perfect nor do I want to be. I also don't want to be defined by my weight either. This is a lifetime battle for all of us. How we fight it is our choice.
My choice is Mindful Eating. My choice is exercise. My choice is not eating ice cream.
Sometimes my choice is to have that cookie. Whatever...we are NOT BAD when we decide what we want to eat. The important thing is when your treating yourself to really sit back, savor the taste and say YYYYYOUUUUUMMMMMM!!!
Now when your trying to do Mindful Eating your paying attention of the taste and how many bites you eat of your treat. When it stops tasting fantastic in your mouth you push the treat away. Simple? Hell no!!! But it's a decision and your eating less calories when your pushing food away.