From a Piece of Work: It's my surgeryversary!
First of all, let me apologize for letting my better judgment get away from me and calling you a "piece of work". I don't usually stoop to such tactics. It was not well done of me. If I hurt your feelings, I am sorry.
That said, I do think that you are very harsh in your criticisms of others here on this board. You can defend your position without personally attacking others. Your attempts to enlighten or re-educate others come across as supercilious and condescending. Your opinion is just that: an opinion. Yet you persist in making pronouncements about other people's feelings, beliefs, core values, and opinions as if your point of view is the only valid one. I assure you it is not the fact that you have a differing opinion that makes people angry with you; it's the way you present your opinion that raises hackles.
I, too, am a well educated woman with multiple degrees. I have never found it necessary to advertise that fact on this board. I, too, have taught on the college level. You are not unique in your accomplishments, laudable though they may be. There are many wise and intelligent people on this board, no matter what their level of formal education might be. You give the definite impression in your posts, however, that because you hold a Ph.D., you are somehow always right about everything. This attitude upsets people and makes them angry with you.
You are also correct in your assertion that this is a weight loss board and a support board. The fact that I am also a woman of faith and occasionally offer prayers for my friends here, or ask for their prayers in return, does not mean that I am pushing my religious views on anyone here. If you want me to be accepting of you and your values, you must also be accepting of me and mine. (That, by the way, is the Golden Rule: do unto others as you would have them do unto you.)
I enjoyed reading about your weight loss journey and I applaud you for your efforts to reclaim your life. You have accomplished a great deal in your life and have much wisdom to offer, I'm sure. However, a more little humor, a little kindness, and a little humility would not be amiss in your communications with your OFF family.
Vickie
Vickie,
I don't know you nor do I think that I have ever commented on any of your posts, so I was somewhat shocked at the ease with which you not only chose to jump on the bandwagon of those who were flaming me, but you also chose to participate in the name calling. Like I said, you do not know me nor do I know you. I have every right to ask those people who are offending me in their posts to remove the posts, but I don't think my comments should result in the three of you, who seem to make it your business to sanction those of us who think or act differently than you do, to tag team each other with all the flames and all the name calling. Frankly, I should have ignored your comments, but several of us old timers have been fed up with the way that some of you guys are acting and I am at the point of reclaiming my right to participate on this board at whatever level that I need to and to bring back those women who are waiting for the board to move back in the direction of being helpful.
As far as my harsh tone, well, I have not personally attacked anyone. I stated facts and supported those facts. Just because what I say doesn’t sit well with you or just because you don’t agree with what I say does not mean I am being harsh or hateful. It means you don’t agree and so what. I didn’t invite your opinion then nor do I invite it now. My remarks about Monica’s post were not an opinion; they were supported by research that I believe I pointed her to. As far as the racists joke: it is not an opinion. Racism is not an objective occurrence. Racism is an attitude that is manifest in the way people speak, the way they act, and the jokes that they tell. When these actions, words, and jokes either denotatively or connotatively evoke negative stereotypes about a group of people, well, you claim you are educated—what does that mean? It means it is racist. It isn’t a little racist or racist but okay because you or another is part Native American and it didn’t bother you or the other few so it must be okay. Racism is not qualitative or quantitative: one tiny piece of racism is just as bad as overt acts of aggression. So, my critique of the racist joke or Monica’s political propaganda were facts not opinion; however, your critique of me being harsh or rude or all the other names that you feel the need to associate with me, now that is an opinion—not supported by fact.
And, really, I do not broadcast my education; my mentioning my education came as a result of one of you critiquing my dangerous little bit of knowledge. I see no reason to try and impress you or anyone else on this forum. And, my completing my doctorate was an integral part of my wls journey and, btw, many of the members on this forum have asked me about my education and if I had defended my dissertation, so on the anniversary of my wls, I announced that I have finished. Also, while you and a couple of others have set out to flame my ethics, I felt the need to give credence to my comments by giving somewhat of a brief biography of my education.
Moreover, I have those members who have been my friends from day one and we have all supported each other in the public forum and also in private message. We have not always seen eye-to-eye, but I do genuinely care about what happens to them as they do about me. So, for you or anyone else to think that I am posting to impress you or they, well, again, sadly you are mistaken and I do believe that those members who know me, really know me, will tell you that I am not those things that you still feel it is your right to cast my way. You see, that is what I don’t understand: you still feel you have the right to critique me and I have not asked for that critique and you certainly are not qualified to critique me and I believe that this need you have to belittle or put me down is a symptom of why so many people have left this board. Again, I don’t care what you think about me and when I post, you should just not read what I say, because, clearly, you cannot tolerate me nor can you read my posts without getting so upset that you lose all sensibility of correct social decorum. I, on the other hand, don’t read your posts unless you have attacked me, which you do a lot of, so again, please don’t read my posts, don’t comment on my posts, and keep you opinions to yourself or post them in the message board between your likeminded friends.
If we posted only about the surgery and health on here , WE WOULD ALL have to stop posting I guess . In every post I see we all post our lives and I see nothing wrong with that at all ..
ONE OF THE VERY reasons i came here ...friendly people sharing a walk into better health and so forth .
Oh well , some people arent happy inside it seems like so may have trouble having it on the outside too ..
Again , a great post from you ...
Have a blessed day filled with joy and peace .
Trish
Albert Schweitzer
As for plastics, well, it'll be there if you ever decide to have it. I understand you want to be there for your hubby. My dad had prostate cancer twice, once when I was 5 (I didn't remember that one) and then again when I was in my 20s. So he survived the first episode for a long time. I thought about plastics once, decide on knee replacement, and after twobfailed knee surgeries, don't want anyone cutting on me again. I hope your hubby is going to be OK, gets his corneas. A friend of mine in Grand Rapids had cornea transplant and is doing very well. He's in his 60s.
I appreciate your contributions whenever they are there. I respect everyone's opinions, whether I always agree with them or not. So don't be a stranger. We need diversity.
Eileen,
Knees are the hardest to loose. When my knees act up, I can barely walk.
You're right about starting over. At our age, we are thinking of moving into taking it easy; however, starting over, as you know, means not having an end in sight. But, one thing that I can actually say, I am the happiest that I think that I have ever been. I love my work; I have a good support group; my children are finally getting their lives together; and my husband and I have finally arrived at a place where we are really comfortable both in our own skin and in our bank account.
The doctor treated his cancer with radium implants and hormone therapy. So, they think they have cured his cancer. He will always need to have by yearly check ups but he has crones so he is use to all of those screening types of tests. When we get through the transplant, I think we will be fine. It's the anticipation of the surgery that kills us both.
Thanks for your concern.
Waaaay back then it didn't seem possible to think we would have so many good changes in our lives. Complications seemed more frightening until we heard people were okay.
Best of luck to your hubby and your future plastics.
Kisses
Annette
Annette 
Annette,
Thank you so much for both my husband and me. I remember you and I going through a lot of medical issues around the same time. I do remember on the other side and waiting for surgery and never thinking that I would be at a place where my body was easy in my enviornment and her I am and here you are: both doing very well. And five years does seem like yesterday.
CONGRATULATIONS on your 5 year Surgiversary!!! You have done a great job maintaining your weight loss. That is awesome!!
I hope all works out well for your husband. I also hope that he comes through his surgeries with no complications.
It is wonderful to hear that you have been approved for plastics. Hopefully it won't be too long before you are able to have those surgeries. Good Luck!!
HUGS.....connie d
