The Continuing Saga

Julia,
      I am so sorry your Mom is declining. I am glad that you are being realistic about her level of care that she requires. I will pray that you find a good place for her to go.   Mag

Julia,

Life reaches the point when "the best care we can give to our parents is to find the best professional care for them."

That was the advice I was given when the doctor took her care out of my hands. Caring for Mom was killing me slowly but I was too tired and guilt ridden to notice.

Keep in mind that she will have staff who only work an 8 hour shift, go home and return refreshed. 24/7 doesn't give you time to recoup your own resources.

Hang in there. This is never easy.

Julia, you are not failing your mom, and now you can see that. You are doing the best by placing her. You can't be there 24/7 for her. Good luck in your search.

(((Julia))) I don't have anything else to add to what has already been said to you...just know that you are doing the right thing looking for a place for your mom. Prayers continue that things turn out ok for all.

HUGS

Julia.....you have done all you can. Now you know beyond a doubt that the time has come when she needs to be placed in a care facility.  I know this is a very hard decision to make.  I  have been in that situation with my parents as have so many others here on OFF.
I am keeping you and you mom in my thoughts and prayers.

God Bless!

Hugs....connie d

Similarly I brought my Mom to our home with my husband and two sons we had to put on an addition to our home. I was devastated when my Mom became fearful of family members I felt like no amount of me talking to her could make her more comfortable. Ironically one day she was clearly thinking and asked to go to a certain nursing facility out of state near where her home used to be. I of course wanted her to stay in Md. near me. She had lost 90% of her vision and had more and more periods of dementia. I talked to a geriatric specialist who told me to let her decide and to keep in mind she wished to go someplace she could still picture in her mind. Since she lived in Pa for nearly 80 yrs. that's where she chose to go she made two possible choices but had one especially she wanted to go. So  my sisters and i toured  and I made the arrangements to move her where she had chose. I hated letting her go the guilt was tremendous but she was feeling insecure in Md where she couldn't ever get used to.  In the long run although it was hard it was for the best. My Mom later told me she felt she was getting to be too much a burden and she wanted me to have less stress and get back to the life I had with my husband and family. Oh God it was hard! I hope you find the perfect place and the strength to do what you have to do.