Good Morning- It's FRIDAY!
Good Morning! I'm home for two days! What a crazy life I lead right now. I'm spending more time in my Mom's house than in my own. It's a labor of love, but not an easy task. She tests my patience - and I'm a patient person.She lost her hearing aids so I have to write everything down- she talks- I write. I have writing rants... she wears Depends but pees so much at night that they overflow. Some nights she gets up to pee (the nights after my rants) but others she says it's too hard. We go back and forth on this.Anyway- this is my life right now. I know I will be glad that I did it, but it's not easy.
Tomorrow I have BUNCO! I can't wait!
Julia
Tomorrow I have BUNCO! I can't wait!
Julia
Julia,
We had the same incontinence problems with Mom. Because she had trouble walking, there was often a river between her bedroom and the bathroom. That was followed by her crying and terribly upset. Nobody got any sleep.
As much as we hated the idea, we finally put a port-a-potty next to her bed. It had rails on the sides so she wouldn't fall off. Not too pleasant to empty and wash each day but it helped.
We also put Chux under her at night to catch the leaks.
That was a labor of love for me too but a nightmare of constant exhaustion. When she died, I had no regrets that we made her last years as comfortable as humanly possible.
Annette
We had the same incontinence problems with Mom. Because she had trouble walking, there was often a river between her bedroom and the bathroom. That was followed by her crying and terribly upset. Nobody got any sleep.
As much as we hated the idea, we finally put a port-a-potty next to her bed. It had rails on the sides so she wouldn't fall off. Not too pleasant to empty and wash each day but it helped.
We also put Chux under her at night to catch the leaks.
That was a labor of love for me too but a nightmare of constant exhaustion. When she died, I had no regrets that we made her last years as comfortable as humanly possible.
Annette
Annette 
Thanks to all of you for your helpful suggestions. I am still considering the bedside potty... the hardest part of this journey is trying to understand how much my Mom CAN do and what is too hard. She needs to be able to get out of bed or she can't live here. She wears the most absorbant Depends that are made- all the time. I also have a pad under her. My issue with her is that one night she will get up and pee three to four times- the next night she will lay there and wake up but pee the diaper until it overflows over and over. I am pushing her because I know she wants to live in her own home... if she can't do the getting up and down it won't be safe for her to live at home I'm afraid. She knows I'm trying to push her to help her. If I don't push her to do things independently she can't stay. I go back to work in early August and she does not have nearly enough money to pay for around the clock care. She doesn't cry at all- does not mind wearing the diapers. She'll get mad at me sometimes and I am *****y at times but I just tell her that my Dad is in me and that part is HER fault- we laugh at that one! Our time together is mostly good, just fraught with loss on my side- I'm losing her, also my very good life at home, my summer vacation, my time with my husband, daughter, and dogs, and my social life. I have given it up freely, and it is worth it, but I still miss it all.You know what I mean.
Hope you find some time for you ... you need your vacation time.
I didn't get to sleep til 7 a.m. ... don't know why, just coudn't nod off. Just kind of antsy. it's 99 degrees here and feels like 107, according to my Weather Channel desktop bug ... yuck. I went out to go to the office to arrange for a big package to be brought to my apt. ,..... too heavy for me to carry. Young maintenance guy just brought it over. Some wine I ordered from my favorite winery in Wis. (just fruit wines, can't get them anywhere else).
I have no energy so probably won't cook ... need to brown the ground beef because it's been out of the freezer for two days now. Just don't feel like doing anything.
Sitting here sipping an iced coffee watching baseball. Need to unpack this box so I can take the box to the dumpster and get my mail. That's the extent of my chores for the day.
I didn't get to sleep til 7 a.m. ... don't know why, just coudn't nod off. Just kind of antsy. it's 99 degrees here and feels like 107, according to my Weather Channel desktop bug ... yuck. I went out to go to the office to arrange for a big package to be brought to my apt. ,..... too heavy for me to carry. Young maintenance guy just brought it over. Some wine I ordered from my favorite winery in Wis. (just fruit wines, can't get them anywhere else).
I have no energy so probably won't cook ... need to brown the ground beef because it's been out of the freezer for two days now. Just don't feel like doing anything.
Sitting here sipping an iced coffee watching baseball. Need to unpack this box so I can take the box to the dumpster and get my mail. That's the extent of my chores for the day.
Good morning Julia and everyone.....
Julia....God Bless you and your mom.....it isn't easy taking care of an elderly parent....I remember it well. I am glad I did it as I know my mom did appreciate it. Your mom does too!
As for me today is laundry and cleaning. Later Grace and I will be going to the pool. Another day....same routine.
Wishing you all a wonderful day!!
Prayers for so many in need.
Love and hugs to all....connie d
Julia....God Bless you and your mom.....it isn't easy taking care of an elderly parent....I remember it well. I am glad I did it as I know my mom did appreciate it. Your mom does too!
As for me today is laundry and cleaning. Later Grace and I will be going to the pool. Another day....same routine.
Wishing you all a wonderful day!!
Prayers for so many in need.
Love and hugs to all....connie d
Hi Julia:
Can't sleep ... so I'm up and wanted to play around on the computer ... but for some reason my cable modem wasn't operating ... no phone, no Internet. Had to reboot both. Geez!
My brother goes through some of the same problems as you with my mom, though not with incontinence. Mom farts a lot ... everytime she gets up and she doesn't seem to know (or she doesn't care, because she doesn't excuse herself). Plus, she leaves a mess in the bathroom. He is a full-time caretaker now that he is unemployed. Mom didn't want him there at first, but now she's glad he's there ... although she drives him crazy.
I'm off again today but no big plans ... laundry and baseball. My days off were split this week, plus I had the one sick day due to the pinched nerve bothering me.
I had a headache all night at work and felt like I was working in a fog. Didn't even take anything for it, either, so don't know why I was so loopy. Then, I get home, take something for it, and now I can't sleep. Makes no sense.
Anyway, I just finished reading "Becoming Queen Victoria." Nonfiction ... very interesting. Now I have to pick out another book ... I've been going fiction, nonfiction ... so I don't rot out my brain too much.
Well, have a good day.
Good Morning Julie and OFF friends,
It is very difficult to deal with our elderly parents. My mother lives in an independent living facility. They provide transportation for dr's appts & grocery shopping. Mom has gone through 4 drivers because she is so demanding. Mom also has incontenance issues. She has had accidents numerous times while I've taken her places. I have bought her Depends and asked her to please use them. She said she thinks other people will notice if she is wearing a diaper. I told her other people don't care but that they will definitely notice if her pants are wet.
Mom also refuses to use her walker or wheelchair, but complains about how hard it is for her to walk any distance. She falls a lot and has had to go to the ER after falling in several public places. She says she's ok, but thank goodness the managers of the stores or resturants insist. I have explained to her that they are making sure she is ok for their legal reasons and she needs to be checked out for everybodies sake.
Well, this is one of my days off. Another trip to the nursing home for my 93 yr old FIL. He is usually asleep and not aware we are there. Even if he is awake, he doesn't know us. Very sad, but my DH goes no matter what. My MIL passed a little over 3 yrs ago. One day when we were visiting, Pop said she came to visit him every evening but would never say anything.
We are the "sandwich generation". Funny how this situation can be associated with food. No wonder we have found ourselves stress-eating.
Gotta get my shower, wake the DH & 2 granddaughters ages 3 & 5, and get everybody ready. Fun day in the heat and humidity. First the nursing home, then the commissary. Oh happy day...
Hugs,
Kristi
It is very difficult to deal with our elderly parents. My mother lives in an independent living facility. They provide transportation for dr's appts & grocery shopping. Mom has gone through 4 drivers because she is so demanding. Mom also has incontenance issues. She has had accidents numerous times while I've taken her places. I have bought her Depends and asked her to please use them. She said she thinks other people will notice if she is wearing a diaper. I told her other people don't care but that they will definitely notice if her pants are wet.
Mom also refuses to use her walker or wheelchair, but complains about how hard it is for her to walk any distance. She falls a lot and has had to go to the ER after falling in several public places. She says she's ok, but thank goodness the managers of the stores or resturants insist. I have explained to her that they are making sure she is ok for their legal reasons and she needs to be checked out for everybodies sake.
Well, this is one of my days off. Another trip to the nursing home for my 93 yr old FIL. He is usually asleep and not aware we are there. Even if he is awake, he doesn't know us. Very sad, but my DH goes no matter what. My MIL passed a little over 3 yrs ago. One day when we were visiting, Pop said she came to visit him every evening but would never say anything.
We are the "sandwich generation". Funny how this situation can be associated with food. No wonder we have found ourselves stress-eating.
Gotta get my shower, wake the DH & 2 granddaughters ages 3 & 5, and get everybody ready. Fun day in the heat and humidity. First the nursing home, then the commissary. Oh happy day...
Hugs,
Kristi
HW 244lbs SW 232lbs CW 148lbs GW 125-130lbs 
Hi Kristi,
When your FIL says his wife is there, I believe she is really there. Take that opportunity and tell FIL that his wife will show him what to do. Tell him it's okay to leave this earth and go with his wife. She's there for a reason.
I sit with a lot of elderly people dying who have no loved ones. Seems like every time the dying person is talking to loved ones who have passed on. Yes, I tell them to follow them. They reach out always and have a smile on their face and then they leave me for another world...which I believe is heaven. Hugs, you have your plate full Kristi. Debbie
When your FIL says his wife is there, I believe she is really there. Take that opportunity and tell FIL that his wife will show him what to do. Tell him it's okay to leave this earth and go with his wife. She's there for a reason.
I sit with a lot of elderly people dying who have no loved ones. Seems like every time the dying person is talking to loved ones who have passed on. Yes, I tell them to follow them. They reach out always and have a smile on their face and then they leave me for another world...which I believe is heaven. Hugs, you have your plate full Kristi. Debbie
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