Now, MY Mom is in the hospital too.
Hi All,
I'm posting this separately... not sure why. I've been talking about my Mom a lot lately- this is the next wrinkle in her slide with her age. She's 85 and has been ultra healthy but her mind has been going for a few years. On Sunday (we think) she fell or passed out or something and she laid in that position for a couple of days. My brother and sister-in-law found her yesterday and called 911. She's been admitted to the hospital for observation. She did not have a stroke- maybe an ischemic episode- but she has evidence of more than one small stroke in her CAT scan. That may explain some of the memory loss. Today we meet with the social worker to discuss what comes next. My mother has a reverse mortgage and she LOVES getting that check. As soon as she moves into any other placement that money (and her house) will be gone. She has been very careless with money and does not have much. She had an insurance plan for long term care but she stopped paying on it because she said it was too expensive and that she would never need it. It's kind of a problem when a person with dementia is making those decisions, but she treasured her independence. There is no good outcome here I'm afraid. I'm just venting- don't feel like you have to respond.... I've worried about this for years and here it is. I know many of you are going through this now too. Thanks for listening.
Julia
I'm posting this separately... not sure why. I've been talking about my Mom a lot lately- this is the next wrinkle in her slide with her age. She's 85 and has been ultra healthy but her mind has been going for a few years. On Sunday (we think) she fell or passed out or something and she laid in that position for a couple of days. My brother and sister-in-law found her yesterday and called 911. She's been admitted to the hospital for observation. She did not have a stroke- maybe an ischemic episode- but she has evidence of more than one small stroke in her CAT scan. That may explain some of the memory loss. Today we meet with the social worker to discuss what comes next. My mother has a reverse mortgage and she LOVES getting that check. As soon as she moves into any other placement that money (and her house) will be gone. She has been very careless with money and does not have much. She had an insurance plan for long term care but she stopped paying on it because she said it was too expensive and that she would never need it. It's kind of a problem when a person with dementia is making those decisions, but she treasured her independence. There is no good outcome here I'm afraid. I'm just venting- don't feel like you have to respond.... I've worried about this for years and here it is. I know many of you are going through this now too. Thanks for listening.
Julia
Julia,
Sweetie, I don't feel I have to respond, I absolutely need to respond. . .
What you are dealing with is so common today, with parents that have health well into their 80s and beyond, making decisions for them becomes something many have to face and it is never easy, while I lost my Mom at the young age of 65, I have watched friends and most recently my cousin, who is a year older than I and we grew up sort of as sisters, me always being in her house, go through this with my Great Aunt Mary, who God bless her is 96, healthy as a horse physically, as she went to the gym 5 days a week up until about 6 years ago when her mind began to slip. . . first my cousin hired some people she knew real well to live as companions, my aunt did not like it, but it was very necessary, last year she started exhibiting violent behaviors and accusing people of all sorts of things that were not true and I helped my cousin make the only choice she could, which was to find a wonderful facility for her to get cared for in a manner that is in her best interests. It was hard, but now my cousin can sleep at night knowing her Mom will not wake up and hurt herself or anyone else.
Many places have a limited number of medicare "beds" rooms, might I suggest that you look first for someplace that you might need, not saying you do/will, but one that comes highly regarded and see what's available in the event you need such a place, the thing is you have to be very proactive in calling and following up, when they see a genuine caring family member, it tends to get things done quicker, as that is what Tony and his sister, did when they found such a place for his 87 year old Mom and she loves it where she is and they recently build "group homes" brand new that she will be moving into and she is one of those that are capable of living in such a situation, it is where there are people on hand to care for them as they need, but yet they are able to be as independent as they want, each has their own room, bathroom and can participate in community activies such as they did before.
Wishing you well, I know this is a tough situation, but you are not alone.
Hugs, Laureen
Sweetie, I don't feel I have to respond, I absolutely need to respond. . .
What you are dealing with is so common today, with parents that have health well into their 80s and beyond, making decisions for them becomes something many have to face and it is never easy, while I lost my Mom at the young age of 65, I have watched friends and most recently my cousin, who is a year older than I and we grew up sort of as sisters, me always being in her house, go through this with my Great Aunt Mary, who God bless her is 96, healthy as a horse physically, as she went to the gym 5 days a week up until about 6 years ago when her mind began to slip. . . first my cousin hired some people she knew real well to live as companions, my aunt did not like it, but it was very necessary, last year she started exhibiting violent behaviors and accusing people of all sorts of things that were not true and I helped my cousin make the only choice she could, which was to find a wonderful facility for her to get cared for in a manner that is in her best interests. It was hard, but now my cousin can sleep at night knowing her Mom will not wake up and hurt herself or anyone else.
Many places have a limited number of medicare "beds" rooms, might I suggest that you look first for someplace that you might need, not saying you do/will, but one that comes highly regarded and see what's available in the event you need such a place, the thing is you have to be very proactive in calling and following up, when they see a genuine caring family member, it tends to get things done quicker, as that is what Tony and his sister, did when they found such a place for his 87 year old Mom and she loves it where she is and they recently build "group homes" brand new that she will be moving into and she is one of those that are capable of living in such a situation, it is where there are people on hand to care for them as they need, but yet they are able to be as independent as they want, each has their own room, bathroom and can participate in community activies such as they did before.
Wishing you well, I know this is a tough situation, but you are not alone.
Hugs, Laureen
My Mantra is that I do not determine my success by the number hanging in my closet, nor will I let the scale determine that success either. . . It is through trial and error I will continue to grow and succeed. . . Laureen
"Success is a journey, not a destination." Ben Sweetland
My heart goes out to you. Meeting with the social worker is so important. They have the true pulse of what will be available for your Mom in your area. We found a wonderful Senior Care Specialist in Fl who helped us get my Mom on Medicaid and into a lovely nursing home where she had supreme care. Also hired an attorney who specialized in senior issues. It was hard on my Dad at the time, but he did realize he could no longer take care of her, let alone himself...another story unto itself.
Very hard becoming the parent to the parent who is now the child.
Hugs, Monica
Very hard becoming the parent to the parent who is now the child.
Hugs, Monica
|
|
Julia, I'm so sorry to hear about your Mom. While I have NO regrets in taking care of my Mom before she died 14 yrs. ago with breast cancer, was her sole caregiver and would do it again in a heartbeat, but now I look back and honestly can say it took its toll on me. Not sure if I could care for her today as I did back then.
I'll be holding you & your family in my thought & prayers.
Cindy
I'll be holding you & your family in my thought & prayers.
Cindy
Most Active
Recent Topics
