OT: Living on the EDGE of FEAR

Greeting the morning

Great cuppa joe

Watching the sunrise

Prayers for our family

Holding our hands

Whipperwill singing outside our window

Yoda awakens

Prances into the room

Kisses given, toys checked,

Giggles abound as we talk about last night

Watching the news

Walking with Yoda

Squirrels in trees

Lizards laughing oh yes please

Puttin around

Making house right

Preparing for massage

How will it go?

Napping with Yoda

As we await his return

More putting around

Cleaning out drawers

Posting on FB

Smiles enter the house

The massage was too good

Muscles relaxed

Happiness shows

I am so pleased

Cheeks hurt from smiling

Time for the dog park

Friends are all there

Then a dog enters

Man Owner is timid

Keeps dog on leash

So off Yoda goes to do the greet

Man yells at Yoda

John hurrys to help

Man yells at hubby

Your dog bit my dog

No bites given

None received

Perceptions mistaken if you please

Voices are rising

Heart rate spikes too

Adrenalin floodin

I am filled with the FEAR

Hubby is yelling

DON’T LIE TO ME

Admit your mistaken

Tell the truth you see

Man admits error

Then Walks away

Hubby returns

His body is rigid

Rage on his face

Shame on his face

Friends all concerned

WE’re encased with comfort

Support all around

Anger among them

Healing touches are given

Hugs given out

Yoda is gathered

We walk out of park

Legs are like noodles

My FEAR smells like ****

Heart still pounding

What will night bring!!!!

His shame at HIS RAGE

Still stands on his face

Breathing still heavy

As we enter the house

Arms come around me

Head drops on my chest

Kisses are given

Received but no glee

We hold each other tight as can be

Slowly so slowly we let go

Shot of Jack Daniels

He takes from the bottle

I retreat to my chair

Heart is still pounding

FEAR is still there

What kind of night is waiting to blossom

I wonder

He takes a deep breath

He says lets go play poker

Last night you see

Friends going north

Home they flee

And we will have fun

We will NOT let those moments

Continue to hurt

I begin to let down

Thanking God for HIS intervention

WAR causes many wounds

Some you don’t see

Like PTSD

LIVING ON THE EDGE OF FEAR

THAT IS ME.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This was great!  I get courage from the smallest of my friends too.

Monica, YOU are one AMAZING  women.  Thank you for sharing. Have you ever thought of writing a book?    Mag    

Only class I ever flunked was freshman, 1st semester English. Out of 27 students, 13 failed and had to go to summer school. Remembering the night I had to call my parents and tell them. I have never had confidence in my ablity to write anything. But every now & then words come into my mind and flow out my hand. Last night was one of those times. I had gone to bed, couldn't sleep thinking about what happened. Got up turned on the computer, went to Word, and they flowed.
Thanks

Monica, all I can say is wow! Your continued sobriety is even more impressive!

Monica,

What you did was put down your feelings and that is wonderful.  I am sorry you have to live with such fear of your husbands War PTSD.  I, too, suffer from PTSD from having been in an abusive relationship, not to mention my childhood was very abusive as well, so I understand all too well both sides of the fence here and if you can continue to express your thoughts as I am sure to some degree it is catharthic to do so.  As for you flunking English, you seem to express yourself as a well as any Professor could. . .

Hope today is a better one for you and your hubby and that man who brought his dog in, he had no business bringing a dog that is fearful into a situation like that, as other dogs sense that and it can bring about situations that are not good, also, dogs on a leash have a different mentality than when they are off the leash. . .  things we cannot control, STUPID PEOPLE. . . .

Hugs, Laureen

thank you for sharing this......hugs