Invisible

Thinking back to when I was 330 lbs. I realized as I lost weight that I was becoming a Visible person. You see, when your are morbidly obese people don't see you see you. Oh you are invisible to the general populations. Your family, friends, and co-workers see you and acknowledge you but people on the planet don't. No eye contact, no smiles, when you weigh 330 lbs you are ignored by choice. There is too of you to be seen as a human being. However you are really being viewed and rejected because you displace sooooo much space you are a "freak". No matter how well you dress, how pretty you are, that your hair and makeup are to die for, your smile welcoming and bright....does not matter.
After WLS and then PS I became a visible person. Eye contact, smiles, nods of heads, admiring glance and stares, doors opening, hellos given, cars stopping to let me pass, men checking me out front and back with glee on their faces, sales people eager to help. Strange to me and hard to understand, shocking really.
Now when I see an overweight person I really try and give them acknowledgement, recognition, a smile, a visibility. I know, I remember what they must be going through, even if they don't.
Just had to share my thoughts. Just had to share my visibility of today. Grateful for WLS and PS.

Monica, very well said!!
Nan

Dear Friend,

 Even after 6 years I still get tear up reading a post like this. I still feel that sting of judgment by those who dared to look at me at 377 lbs. I too do my best to accept everyone for who they "are" not what they appear to be on the outside. Like the song says "we all bleed red." Can't remember the name of it, a current country tune about acceptance but so true. The pain of not being valued because of my size will never leave me. I still have plenty of insecurities. Thanks for sharing.

Very well put Monica!!!  Its so sad that where I work (food court..now called cafe') I see VERY obese people come into the store and get into one of the motorized carts and come straight to me for food!! Now its ok to get some food...don't get me wrong...I used to be like them also!!! But it is so sad when they order so much food and the treats so so sad!!!! I cringe inside and I so want to talk to them about WLS but I hold my tongue. It breaks my heart to see these obese people eating like this. Then there are the parents FORCING their kids to have treats that they do NOT want!!! They stop and ask the kids if they want popcorn, dippin dots, ice cream bars, etc...they say NO!!! Yet the parents STILL buy them something and MAKE them eat it!!! Why do they do it?? If the kid says NO! Why force them? Sad isn't it?

HUGS

I remember the invisibility.  I also remember feeling like people were staring at me.  Looking back, I felt like I was being paranoid, but I still see it happening with others.  I know I spent a lot of time home, alone, to avoid either situation.

So many of us relate to this post.  Thank you for sharing.

Candy

Yes Monica... I remember a car load of young men mooing at me as I walked down the street... it was devastating. I also try to be extra kind to the invisible.
Julia

That was wonderfully and eloquently expressed Monica! So very true for so many people--not just the obese, but also anyone who is perceived as "different". I can't tell you how many meetings, social gatherings, lunches, etc., I passed on because of my weight. I just didn't WANT to be seen. Sad, isn't it? And now I hear that little voice in my head saying, "Just wait til next year! Wait til they see me NEXT year!" It's like I'll be accepted back into the fold of humanity next year. Lots of deep stuff to ponder here!

Vickie

Forget about "them" seeing you next year....see about YOU seeing you, feeling you, being in your skin, healthier, VISIBLE. Satisfaction comes in many forms, I am relearning to find it and be grateful for it again.

Oh sweet Monica,
How well I remember those days, your thought provoking post makes me realize why I always try to acknowledge obese folk.  well I try to "see" everyone but, you know what I mean. 
Hugs and love to you sister!

Thanks Monica, I really appreciate your words. I was walking yesterday and some guys in a car laughed and howled at me.  Felt bad about it at the time, but now realize I am working to become a better me.  Mag         P.S.  what is PS (I know WLS)