"Bricks and Flowers"

From my Eating Coach Kristi...this made me think...I'll throw my bricks out today! Hugs Debbie

Bricks and Flowers Posted: 16 Dec 2010 02:54 AM PST A few months ago, a friend of mine shared that before he retired, he kept a "Bricks and Flowers" file of his professional accomplishments. I had no idea what a "Bricks and Flowers" file was -- and still don't know if it is a "done" thing in business or if this was his own invention.  Just in case you find yourself in the same boat, a Bricks and Flowers file is where he put the "You did a great job"/"Thanks for your hard work"/ "You're the best!" notes -- those are the Flowers.  He also put the "What were you thinking?!"/"You stink!"/"I'm gonna have you fired!" memos, as well. The conversation went on after his mention of this file but the thought of it has stuck with me for all these months.  It actually inspired me to start a Bricks and Flowers file of my own.  But here's my problem: I don't know why he kept the Bricks?  Is it the morbid imperative that urges us to almost run over a fireman while we crane our necks to get a glimpse of an accident?  Is it the same as that undeniable urge that to linger just a second longer than necessary on the Jerry Springer Show as you are flipping through the channels?  Is it part of the same desire to run our tongue over a sensitive tooth to see if it is still hurting (which, of course, it always is)? Why would anyone keep the bad  stuff?  Just in case you want to relive the bad stuff?  Or is it learn from? In the case of my friend, I haven't yet remembered to ask him the question.  For myself, I HATE reliving the bad stuff -- reopening wounds that are healed or at least heavily scabbed over. But... I don't want to have to live those situations out over and over again with different people and in different situations.  Maybe the point of keeping the Bricks is so that I can pull them out every once in a while and see where I have come from.  Perhaps they will give me insight (once the embarrassment and hurt has subsided) that will give me even more perspective down the road.  And certainly, having the Flowers in the same file helps a lot.  Just when I start feeling really crummy at all the negative comments, here are 7 positive comments to ease the pain and provide some balance. When I am coaching, it is painful to see the client carrying around a huge mental Bricks and Flowers file where there are no Flowers to be seen.  Bricks seems to carry more weight (pardon the pun).  Give some thought to your BandF file.  --How's it stocked?  Is it balanced?  Are you working on filing away the Flowers as hard as you are working on filing away the Bricks?

wow.....ok my take -for me--is that i keep the bricks too -to revisit only once in awhile- to see my own growth or places where i need to improve....kind of a reminder for gratitude..... i am very fortunate to have a wonderful flower file, too!

what i find, again for me, is that i have to be very careful not to leave the bricks file lying around to get depressed about!!!!!!! i do find  that leaving the bricks file in a sturdy shelf and not carrying it around is much healthier for my shoulders and my heart! the flowers file seems to overflow into my purse and my desk and boxes and ...well...i love it!!!!

thx for this post!

Hugs Margo...yes sir...keep that brick file in the corner and don't even try to lift it!
Flower file concept is much healthier for all of us. I try not to even open up my brick file but like all of us we have those bricks...we just don't need to carry them around with us. Hugs Debbie

Hi Debbie....yup....I sure do have a brick and flower file....visit it every now and then. A very necessary part of life going back and getting things back in perspective again.

Hugs....connie d

Having spent some years in California, I learned a little about the stuff bricks are made of.  When that rich adobe clay is fre**** is stinky and slippery and can easily mire you down.  It is easy to mold it, however. 

As it dries, it is much more manageable. It is lighter weight, doesn't smell anymore,  and actually shrinks.  Instead of sucking your shoes off as you try to walk, it becomes a sturdy building material, useful in many ways. In fact, as that photo shows, those flowers are even more dramatic for the contrast of the bricks.

Thanks for making me think!

LOL...thinking is good Jane!
My hubby is a mason and in it's heyday here in Michigan was the one mason that built beautiful arches and million dollar homes....now he is 55 and his body can't work like when he was younger. Mason work is hard on bodies...so I really identified with not wanting to carry my brick file around!

Yepper I'm sticking to my flower file for sure! Have a great day- Debbie