Feeling what you're feeling

Some of you are using the Eating scale. I use it, it's very useful and helps me with my "mindful eating".  Eating foods to comfort ourselves, that's what I do and always will...Sigh...sometimes I can handle it, sometimes I don't but I'm always learning, that's for sure! Hugs- Debbie

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Feeling what you're feeling Posted: 04 May 2010 04:00 AM PDT You might be amazed at how many clients tell me they hate the feeling to being hungry.  I am not talking about starving -- I am talking about the 2-3 level hunger.  They don't like it!  They have to stop it from happening!! But what about the rest of us?  The ones who are eating, not to prevent the discomfort of the physical sensations of hunger, but those of us eating to stop feeling uncomfortable feelings.  Are you quieting your feelings with food instead of dealing with the feeling directly.  One of the most powerful sentences I have read lately is "Are you avoiding yourself by avoiding your feelings?" A huge component of mindfulness is to be able to let yourself feel what you are feeling without judging it. If you choke out what you are feeling with a bag of chips (or carrots, for that matter) are you cultivating mindfulness?

Hi Debbie....another day...here we go!

I am working really hard on mindfull eating. My therapist is helping me with the other issues that have caused me to reach for food as a comfort in the past. 

I have days that are much harder then others but I am not giving up!!

Hugs sweetie.....connie d

Me TTOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Yes indeedy some are better than others.
Don't we have a great support system!?!!!!

I am definitely working on "feeling what I am feeling".....

For the past week or 10 days I've been working on feeling my fear so I could understand it and face it.  So far it is helping...

No more avoiding for me!  Now I have to apply this in all aspects of my life......

Gooooood Ruth!
Conquer that fear my friend!!

This is certainly the post for me, I dont have a therapist or anything, and well I am young and sometimes it shows. In the last few days it has become very apparent to me that if I dont deal with my emotional problems before fore exiting the "honeymoon" period of my rny, I will not succeed and win the ulitimit battle of the bulge. It was not easy, but I have started to comfront my feelings instead of eatting them litterly. Yesterday, I called my ex-stepfather, whom I hadent talked to in some 6 years, I absolutly fear this man, and have gone into panic attacks just thinking of the man, Well I called him anyway, not to blame him but to inform him of what mental damage he had caused me. Well now he knows, he does not accept any resposabilitym I didnt expect him too either. But one thing he said cut myself in two, "It dosent matter to me if you beat yourself up inside because of me, not to be cold or anything it just doesent matter." It seemed so heartless, here I am seeking peace and saying what I have need to say for so many years, and I was just discounted. Then he said he would love to be a part of my life, as if I need that poison, in my life. I just needed to let go, and I feel that my step while it hurt like pulling off a bandaid off a very hary leg, may sting at them moment, but will lead to the closure I seek in the end. Sorry, I had to vent, but I guess I wanted to share that I know how this is, and never want to go back to eatting my feelings, or any foods assciated with it. I want to eat for phycial health, not mental.
Thanks, and God Bless

Wow...are you me?????

I too was afraid of my stepfather, I still came around for family Christmas stuff after my mom died. I no longer do that now. I have taken the toxic out of my life. It's very freeing, I just had to deal with the guilt of not seeing him. Hell,  his own 5 children never really see him and my mom had 5 of us kids so we had 10 kids around. Not only did he ruin his own kids but us 5 too. He was mean, mean and very verbal. Still my siblings try to get his approval as adults???? Why???
Not me.

Very heavy crap to deal with. I finally realized every time I went over there I was eating non-stop after my visits. No more. Sigh...the stuff we have to deal with as adults, letting go and just Let God. Took time and therapy but I did it!!

Sweetie, just remember you don't need your step-father's validation that you are a wonderful person and deserve to be treated with love and respect. He has no power over you, and sorry but what an ass he is. He doesn't matter, he is out of your life. Hopefully confronting him helped you in some ways. For me silence is Golden. I have let my stepfather go. Now he is just a lonely old man with some dementia. When he dies I will not go to his funeral. I will not be a hypocrite and pretend to mourn. He has been out of my life now for 10 years...

Yes, think of us as "Butterflies are Free" we are indeed free my friend. No guilt. Just a wonderful life now! You have emerged as a beautiful butterfly, just fly above your ex-stepfather's crap...and poop on him!

Now, always remember you have a tool. Emotional eat we all do. That's part of us and always will be. I'm 3 years out and I have taken off 7 pounds and the rest will follow that I want off...by practicing mindful eating and exercise. It's my life...forever!

You touched my heart with your post. You are not alone. Always remember you are loved and appreciated! -Hugs Debbie

Thank you for replying to your own posting with a reply to me, I feel very special. I am thankful not to be alone. I like you choose never to see him again, or talk to him for that matter. I just had to deal with the issue because with me, even the thought of him would make me want to eat, or something that reminded me of what he had said or done, made me want to eat. Not any more, I refuse! It's odd that you mention being on both sides of the fence that is accutally how I got his number in the first place, our family was devided, his and hers kids. only 4 of us though, two girls and two boys, us girls my moms, and the boys his. My sister has seemingly forgiven and forgotten. And visits him quite regularly, I think she is nuts, but she is doing what she needs to and will find out in the end that he hasent changed. I still see my step brothers from time to time and love them dealy, but we all delt with the pain in diffrent ways, I ate them, and took them out in cutting and other phycial ways, for the rest they take them out in illegal and liquid ways. I really dont know what one is worse. I just hope that we all make it out of the dark woods someday to have a "normal" life. One free of or past bondages, I can say that I feel hope, and and are gathering the butterfiles as we speak to set them free. Thank you!

Great big hugs to you.  At age 54 I'm set free.
My 2 brothers are alcoholics and did/do drugs...I ate like you. My sister is just plain screwed up, is not a nice person and also drinks but she goes and sees him...in fact just lives 2 houses away...Go figure!

Thank God, I got over my "daddy complex".
Don't get me wrong, I love men, they are very special, I have a wonderful loving hubby and I was lucky to have a "father figure" in my life and he just passed away.
My real dad died at age 52 from a heart attack and he was a recovered alcoholic. That's why I'm a social drinker...I said I would always prefer a hot fudge sundae to alcohol...now I don't even do ice cream!! 

You have a blessed day. You have a great head on your shoulders and are a success!

First of all it feels so good to know I am not alone, strange or otherwise with all of this going on.

I too feel that I have gotten over my daddy complex, and have been with the love of my life for nearly 6 years, He has been just awesome to me in everyway, and supports me in everything I have done and feel that I need to do to set myself free.

I am sorry for the loss of your father, but at the same time I relize that though mine is still living he too is like posion to me, and we hold a very rocky relationship at best, I feel with time that relationship may be heald. I love him, I just dont like him at the moemnt. He drinks like a fish, and an angry one at that, I do not drink any more and havent in several years because I reconize what it can do to people. It can devistate their lifes in so many ways, interpersonal relationships, and in physical asspects too like you seen with heart and liver problems.

Thanks for the compliment, I would love to add you as a friend if you dont mind. It just seems as if we may have so mu*****ommon, and hey I could always use another friend.
Thanks again, and God Bless,
Melissa