Saturday What's New in Your World?

Good Morning to all. I wanted to thank everyone for their kindness yesterday. It was a rough day- oh my- but I think I'm OK. Darla did have a wonderful life. I'm so used to having her next to me... right now she would have been laying on the floor with her head on my feet. She would not lose sight of me because she knew that I would get my cereal and after I finished I would give her my leftover milk. Mommy was the "easy touch" and she was on me like stink on sh-- if I had food. I was looking at our pictures- when we got her she was just a little ball of fluff- but as I looked I saw her personality shining through, even then. We never did train her correctly- food on the counter was never safe even just last week. But no matter- Darla was Darla... I need to write about her while the memories are fresh. She added so much to our lives. My husband and daughter are grieving too. It's amazing how integrated our pets are into our souls. She really was our "other" baby. I can't tell you how many times I hugged her and told her how much I loved her and would miss her when she had to go- for the last year I knew it could happen any time- her age was obvious. I really wanted her to just go to sleep and not wake up one day, but the violent seizures came on suddenly (she was fine all day, up to the very end) and even though it felt like they took hours, she actually only suffered with them for about an hour. I think her last car ride was not too hard on her... her head was in my lap and I was holding her gently and kissing her neck. I actually think the darkness and vibration of the car calmed her down, though she was still seizing but not as violently. Oh lord, I'm sorry... this is too much information isn't it? I shouldn't post this but I will... I hope it doesn't bother anyone too much. Anyway, thanks again for all the nice responses. I do understand that loss is hard to watch sometimes, and when someone expresses sympathy it comes from the heart and another special place inside us that shares sad memories.
Julia

Julia, If computer pages could tear and smudge this would be unreadable. We share your sorrow.

You are a dear Karen.

Julia
I don't post too much anymore as I am teaching way too many students and marking papers, tests, assignments most of my non-teaching hours.  However, I have to post to respond to your comments about your darling Darla.
Make a file and keep your memories of her - from your comments, I don't think that you will be surprised that the memories seem to dull with time.
My beloved Seamus died two years ago and I immediately started a file of the names that I called him - Big Lug, Horse's Arse, Bane of my Existence, Love of my Life, etc. - the things that he did that amazed me and made me fall off my chair laughing - pictures of his life with me from the age of 7 weeks until he died of cancer at the age of 7 years, etc.
I added to it daily for a few weeks and every now and then I go back to it.  He was my strength through cancer, a job loss, severe clinical depression that lasted for several years and he was also my partner in crime when we would walk along Lake Erie at 4 in the morning or stay up most of the nigh****ching TV and eating popcorn.
Time heals, but it also fades our memories, so I agreed with you when you wrote "I need to write about her while the memories are fresh".   You won't regret that you did.
Margaret

Thank you so much Margaret! I have started the collecting of the pictures and the searching in my mind for the memories to keep. I also have the names... trying to remember them all but my brain is quite fuzzy right now.  One is Darla Darva Congaberger... also, Little **** Dar (the one I used most), and BooBoo. My family will help me remember the nicknames. I scrapbook, so her scrapbook is partially done, but I haven't kept up with it, so now is the time. I'm off this week and have a planned scrapbook day with friends on Tuesday. This will be my task. I hope they can handle my tears as I work.

Hi Julia and everyone today,

It is good that you write. It is good for the heart and soul.  Sometimes we can't express in words how we actually feel.  We don't really want to talk about it to family, they are grieving in their own way and don't want to bring them to tears also.

I don't mind reading the posts about Darla.  I find them helpful to me.  I have lost many dogs and other animals.  A goat, a goose, rabbits, gerbils.... Dogs and cats.  I still have four dogs, and dread the day I have to say goodbye to them.

We all find special places in our hearts to express love to them.. It is a wonderful thing you have a caring and sensitive nature.  You  have lots of love to give.  It will take awhile to heal.  Although we never forget.

Peace

I can tell that you are very sensitive also. Thank you for caring.

Hi Karen and my OFF family:

A little cooler today but still very nice. Not complaining. It's 59 degrees but cloudy ... we're supposed to get rain today and I can feel it. I hope it washes some of the pollen out of the air. I had the sliding doors open yesterday afternoon and was taking a nap and woke up hacking ... I knew it was allergy-related, but I was near the point of needing my rescue inhaler. I finally tried a cough drop and the hacking stopped. Wasn't sure if I was coming down with a cold or what. So I closed the door and windows and turned on the air (it wasn't on for long) ... it wasn't worth risking an asthma attack sleeping with the windows open.

This morning, I stripped the bed of the flannel sheets and put on cotton sheets ... the flannel sheets were getting way too warm as the temperatures heated up.

Yesterday's dentist appointment revealed no cavities but the dentist told me about what I expected: I need two crowns. I've needed these for several years and planned to get them this year, even put the money in my FSA account. But then I got laid off and lost the FSA. The crowns would be $890 apiece; insurance would cover 50 percent. They'd want payment in 90 days. Of course, they told they accept credit cards ... well, I don't have those, nor do I want them (too dangerous for me!). So I have a decision to make. One feels worse than the other ... it even hurts this morning, sensitive to pressure and cold. Maybe I could do one at one time, one another time. I don't know if I can put the one crown off because of the pain it's causing me. I just don't know how I can afford it on unemployment.

Or, I can wait to see what happens with either this job in Texas or disability. I'm not a very patient person and all this waiting is driving me crazy.

Well, my day is a pretty low-key one ... there's a baseball game on late, of course basketball on this evening.

Julia, I really understand your sorrow over the death of your dog, Darla. I mourned the loss of Kittle and Cinnamon for months (especially Cinnamon because I had had him for nearly 19 years and he was my last link to Montana). Have you seen "Marley & Me"? It really shows the pet/human bond so well ... especially in hard times.

Well, everyone have a good Saturday.

Yes, you do understand, I know. I saw Marley and Me- it was so moving. I absolutely thought of Darla throughout that movie. In fact, I think I probably wrote a few comments about it on here way back when. Dar was already quite old and the fears of losing her were already there. In some ways I think those fears are always there- it's one reason some people do not get a dog (or other pet). They absolutely don't want to go through the grief of losing them.

Eileen, It's alwys something isn't it? If  your disability comes through will it have a dental benefit? Just a thought. I have a mouthful of crowns and will end up with more I am sure.