Sore, Sad and Afraid of the Scale!
(deactivated member)
on 1/11/10 12:44 am, edited 1/11/10 4:37 am - West Central FL☼RIDA , FL
on 1/11/10 12:44 am, edited 1/11/10 4:37 am - West Central FL☼RIDA , FL
Hi
I have not been on-line in a while for a few reasons but mainly because I had company last week and we stayed very, very busy (it was a great visit). BUT, also because I have been struggling post op from my last round of plastics and am now after 4 difficult weeks I am dealing with the complication of a large hematoma that developed on my right butt cheek which the surgeon finally CUT OUT last Thursday. OMG this is so nasty! Wound care is so difficult (given the location), but we are managing.
I'm so sore but don't want to take pain killers so I grin and bare it. I am still suffering with terrible swelling....good lord sometimes the pain from the tightness due to swelling is just dreadful. I can't sit comfortably, I can't lay down comfortably....UGH!!!!!!
I have not been able to do any exercise since the beginning of December and I am starting to freak out because I don't want to gain any weight. PLUS with all the holiday stuff I've had more than my share of cookies in the past 3 weeks. I put most of them in the freezer the other day and think I will have to throw away the rest or I may do real damage. I am actually to afraid to step on the scale right now just in case I have gained a few pounds. I know I should just bite the bullet and step on the scale and face the facts but I'm frozen with fear. I'm so afraid if I see I gained 5 lbs or 10 lbs that I will "throw in the towel" and start gaining like I did in the past. I guess the good news is that I am aware of this and so I trust I will not do that but still I'm treading new waters (on maintenance) and with all the surgery issues, swelling, not being able to exercise, I'm terrified!!!!! It saddens me that I am even struggling scale issues and giving in to the cookies calling my name. I guess if I look for the positive I can feel good that I did not 4 or 5 cookies each day but was able to hold myself to 2....except for one day when I think I had 4.
So here I am doing something that is VERY difficult for me......Opening Up about my feelings..........maybe I just need a hug.....maybe I just need a slap on the side of my head to wake me up and get me firmly back on track........maybe I just needed to vent. Somehow typing it out helps.....It feels sort of safe to put the fear out here because I think others can understand and maybe even relate to it.
Well thanks for listening.....I'm off to do some wound care and toss some cookies....
Have a great day!
Ruth
EDITED: I want to clarify that realistically I know I will not throw in the towel and regain everything. I will not do that to myself again. I'm much smarter this time around. BUT I do stil give too much value to the scale.....I still fit in my pre-op jeans and given the amount of swelling I have I should just be happy about that and not even worry about the number on the scale. I think that will be my focus for the short-term. I will focus on healing and drinking more protein powder like I used to do. Thanks for helping me sort through this....I feel better and stronger.
I have not been on-line in a while for a few reasons but mainly because I had company last week and we stayed very, very busy (it was a great visit). BUT, also because I have been struggling post op from my last round of plastics and am now after 4 difficult weeks I am dealing with the complication of a large hematoma that developed on my right butt cheek which the surgeon finally CUT OUT last Thursday. OMG this is so nasty! Wound care is so difficult (given the location), but we are managing.
I'm so sore but don't want to take pain killers so I grin and bare it. I am still suffering with terrible swelling....good lord sometimes the pain from the tightness due to swelling is just dreadful. I can't sit comfortably, I can't lay down comfortably....UGH!!!!!!
I have not been able to do any exercise since the beginning of December and I am starting to freak out because I don't want to gain any weight. PLUS with all the holiday stuff I've had more than my share of cookies in the past 3 weeks. I put most of them in the freezer the other day and think I will have to throw away the rest or I may do real damage. I am actually to afraid to step on the scale right now just in case I have gained a few pounds. I know I should just bite the bullet and step on the scale and face the facts but I'm frozen with fear. I'm so afraid if I see I gained 5 lbs or 10 lbs that I will "throw in the towel" and start gaining like I did in the past. I guess the good news is that I am aware of this and so I trust I will not do that but still I'm treading new waters (on maintenance) and with all the surgery issues, swelling, not being able to exercise, I'm terrified!!!!! It saddens me that I am even struggling scale issues and giving in to the cookies calling my name. I guess if I look for the positive I can feel good that I did not 4 or 5 cookies each day but was able to hold myself to 2....except for one day when I think I had 4.
So here I am doing something that is VERY difficult for me......Opening Up about my feelings..........maybe I just need a hug.....maybe I just need a slap on the side of my head to wake me up and get me firmly back on track........maybe I just needed to vent. Somehow typing it out helps.....It feels sort of safe to put the fear out here because I think others can understand and maybe even relate to it.
Well thanks for listening.....I'm off to do some wound care and toss some cookies....
Have a great day!
Ruth
EDITED: I want to clarify that realistically I know I will not throw in the towel and regain everything. I will not do that to myself again. I'm much smarter this time around. BUT I do stil give too much value to the scale.....I still fit in my pre-op jeans and given the amount of swelling I have I should just be happy about that and not even worry about the number on the scale. I think that will be my focus for the short-term. I will focus on healing and drinking more protein powder like I used to do. Thanks for helping me sort through this....I feel better and stronger.
Hi Ruth,
Boy you've been through alot. I think you are on the right track about admitting how you feel. And, the cookie issues. I am sure you are depressed about a few things. Even after the Holidays we can feel down in the dumps.
I am sorry you had complications from your surgery. I hope that gets under control for you. That would help everything. Eating and excercising.
It is good to vent. It makes us feel better than bottling it up inside.
I wish you a speedy recovery and hang in there. This too shall pass.
Mary
Boy you've been through alot. I think you are on the right track about admitting how you feel. And, the cookie issues. I am sure you are depressed about a few things. Even after the Holidays we can feel down in the dumps.
I am sorry you had complications from your surgery. I hope that gets under control for you. That would help everything. Eating and excercising.
It is good to vent. It makes us feel better than bottling it up inside.
I wish you a speedy recovery and hang in there. This too shall pass.
Mary
Mary
I am on my way. What a ride it has been.
http://www.obesityhelp.com/group/Sharing
I am on my way. What a ride it has been.
http://www.obesityhelp.com/group/Sharing
(deactivated member)
on 1/11/10 3:40 am - West Central FL☼RIDA , FL
on 1/11/10 3:40 am - West Central FL☼RIDA , FL
Thanks for the reply....you are right about not keeping things bottled up.
Ruth,
Hope you feel better and I don't think many of us survived the holiday's without some reprucussions, except the very steadfast few and the newbies, so don't fret, just get back to doing what you know works.
Hoping to read more about your progress and that it is good stuff!
Hugs, Laureen
Hope you feel better and I don't think many of us survived the holiday's without some reprucussions, except the very steadfast few and the newbies, so don't fret, just get back to doing what you know works.
Hoping to read more about your progress and that it is good stuff!
Hugs, Laureen
My Mantra is that I do not determine my success by the number hanging in my closet, nor will I let the scale determine that success either. . . It is through trial and error I will continue to grow and succeed. . . Laureen
"Success is a journey, not a destination." Ben Sweetland
(deactivated member)
on 1/11/10 3:41 am - West Central FL☼RIDA , FL
on 1/11/10 3:41 am - West Central FL☼RIDA , FL
I will dispose of the cookies but I think I'll hold off on the scale for at least a few more days....maybe some swelling will have gone down by then. A girl can hope!!
Hey Ruth. I'm sorry to hear you're struggling right now. Such is life and we just have to learn how to deal with the pits. I sound real considerate don't I ?
IMO I think you should just stay off of the scale for a couple of weeks. You know you're dealing with swelling, and fluid retention, so why put yourself in a situation where you freak out over some poundage? You know what you need to do, and you know you're the only one that can do it. Just don't worry so much right now while you're not physically able.... YOU WILL NOT THROW IN THE TOWEL. You've been on the other side and you know what a nasty place that was.
You were able to limit yourself with the cookies during the holidays, now cut it out! I think you should be entitled to splurge on occasion within limits. You know how to limit yourself, so don't beat yourself up. Consider this your slap, girlfriend.
Hope you begin to heal quickly now that the hematoma has been removed. Wound care can really be a pain (in your *ss)
Jan
IMO I think you should just stay off of the scale for a couple of weeks. You know you're dealing with swelling, and fluid retention, so why put yourself in a situation where you freak out over some poundage? You know what you need to do, and you know you're the only one that can do it. Just don't worry so much right now while you're not physically able.... YOU WILL NOT THROW IN THE TOWEL. You've been on the other side and you know what a nasty place that was.
You were able to limit yourself with the cookies during the holidays, now cut it out! I think you should be entitled to splurge on occasion within limits. You know how to limit yourself, so don't beat yourself up. Consider this your slap, girlfriend.
Hope you begin to heal quickly now that the hematoma has been removed. Wound care can really be a pain (in your *ss)
Jan
(deactivated member)
on 1/11/10 3:39 am - West Central FL☼RIDA , FL
on 1/11/10 3:39 am - West Central FL☼RIDA , FL
Sometimes a slap is what is needed.......a little tough love never killed anyone...
I know I will not throw in the towel, no way, I'm accomplished too much and love my new body too much to do that. I really think it's all the swelling and the surgery complications that has me out of sorts. As my mom always says....this too shall pass.
TTFN
I know I will not throw in the towel, no way, I'm accomplished too much and love my new body too much to do that. I really think it's all the swelling and the surgery complications that has me out of sorts. As my mom always says....this too shall pass.
TTFN
Ruth, don't you dare back slide now. You have come so far and I'm sending you a great big hug.
Throw out those damn cookies right now!! Even the ones in the freezer. Time to take control.
Now for now DO NOT WEIGH YOURSELF. Please don't beat yourself up.
Can you walk? That's the best exercise any way when your are recovering from surgery. Gotta keep moving. Because of your complication can you walk still? Sounds "ouchy".
You have to let your body heal from surgery first so you may not be able to exercise yet. What does your doctor say about exercise?
But...you can still work those upper arms. How about lifting some weights?
Again, I'm sending you hugs.
P.S. I've had my share of cookies too my friend. We totally understand. You are me! Darn cookies anyway!!!!!!!!
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