Monday! Monday! What's Happening with YOU?

Well, I’ve been struggling with a number of things lately. A lot of stress….and being an emotional eater doesn’t help. But Im working hard to not allow my emotions rule my world.

I am finally able to let go of the anger I felt towards my natural sister too. I’d called her last week about Mother’s 90^th birthday this month. I’ve planned a small Afternoon Tea for her and invited friends and relatives…..some are even coming from Quebec which is a long trip! And consider what the weather could be at the end of November. Well, I asked my sister of she was interested in attending, participating or helping me with baking…her flat response of NO! still it somehow shocked me. I guess it is her path to hang onto imagined and exaggerated offences from her childhood. She hasn’t seen Mother since Dad’s funeral fifteen years ago….hasn’t recognized our parents’ birthdays, Christmas, Mother’s Day, Fathers Day or any family-oriented holiday for over 30 years…so why was I so surprised? Silly me!

Mother and I have had our disagreements…..all about her careless and foolish enabling of my adopted younger sister who is now 50 but has been an alcoholic and coke addict since her 20s…she almost bankrupted Mother who so desperately wanted to FIX my sister and couldn’t despite all the money she spent. But I have become very protective of my Mother…..she is 90 and fading…..forgetting things and being bewildered…..unable to walk to the dining room for her meals so she was not eating. I called in CCAC (Community Care Access Centre) who decides who and when seniors are placed in an assisted living facility. After a lot of hard work, I FINALLY got them to put Mom on the CRISIS list…..apparently, not getting to your meals is NOT an item in the criteria!. So I became very vocal…Mom was fading fast….her wasted upper arm and thigh muscles couldn’t hold her up much anymore..so she avoided going down to the dining room for her meals. Where she is now, everyone needs to be totally independent..she is no longer able to be so. Even Mom recognizes that she needs help and she agreed that its time to move.

So for the last full month, I have fought the system, visited facilities to make choices, I’m getting her a wheelchair that she needs in the new place so they can wheel her down to eat, I’ve managed to talk the manager where she is right now into delivering her 3 meals/day to her room tho it is against their policy, and I’ve got a personal care worker coming in twice a week to help Mom shower and to tidy up a bit. I’ve run from CCAC to the doctors…both of them…to get signatures and diagnosis…..ive returned to pick up the signed paperwork, I’ve taken them to CCAC in the other city, I’ve bargained with the current retirement managers to make concessions for Mother til she moves. I come in to see her daily to make sure she gets the right meds and I keep her weekly pill in my purse so she doesn’t get it mixed up with the daily pills or her kidneys will be destroyed. I wash her dishes and clean up her kitchenette since she doesn’t seem to be able to keep up with those small tasks and I clean her bathroom too and tidy up, picking up things she may trip over and fall. She is a very proud and independent woman and it’s hard to see her so frail and so unable to cope with simple living chores. I’m tired…so tired. But I do not resent my work for her…somehow I’m closer to her than ever before. She was never a warm, nurturing Mother but I am nurturing her now. As it happens, Mom’s HEALTH CARD is also due to expore this very same month! So Ive had to jump theu hoops for that too…going into the city to explain that she simply cannot be taken up there to apply and get a photo and fill out forms and wait in line for three hours. Finally they gave my an exemption form…..that form had to be taken, yup, you guessed it…..back to her doctors to get these different new forms filled out.. then back again several days later to pick them up again. Then back to the city to hand them in. Then I get asked for a copy of my Power of Attorney. They couldn’t ask for that so I could make it all in one trip? Apparently they love the sight of my smiling face! So back again I go! And now, Tuesday I have an appointment to go into the city had stand in line and take all kinds of paperwork in to prove Mother is who she is.

Bring a drivers licence, a passport or a birth certificate….lol… She never drove, nor left the country (no Passport) and was born in Quebec where births were recorded by the parish priest so all she has is a photocopy of a handwritten note from the parish records that she was baptized. Can we say FUN!??

So that’s my story and I’m sticking to it! s

What’s going on with YOU??