repeat hernia surgery again

I am reaching my last straw with this surgery. I had laperscopic surgery in 2000. The next year I developed a hernia at the naval site. It was sore so I had mesh placed. The doctor used mesh plugs which were recalled, mine migrated to the left lower abdomen. It was really painful when they were removed. I then had a mesh placed over the hole. that lasted for a year. I am a nurse and have to bend and hover over people in the home. Not the best position. so the stress of my job tore the mesh again. so I had it fixed again. this time the surgeon put a diagonal mesh in and the muscle was pushing out around it, this lead to a traumatic hernia at work 6 months later and I was on workman's comp which was the worst experience I have ever had. then I had my rny and for some reason the small bowel came up between the anterior part of the muscle and the mesh and I had emergency surgery to resection the bowel. the doctor used none dissolving sutures to repair the mesh he had to cut through which is why the area hurts still after 5 months. We think the muscle has split with the grain of the fiber.at the sewed line and i will need surgery again. The bowel is moving out and  got caught out for 5 hours the other day. that was very painful and I took a dose of oxycodone which did little to help. I just do not want surgery and I really was pushing the limits of time. Because of the mesh that is in place i can not feel it so I can not pu**** back in. this scared me, but it finally went back by it's self. I was really sore for 3 days but I really did not want to have surgery. I saw my surgeon and I have to have another cat scan next week the 8th in 12 months. They say it is not a lot of radiation like it used to be, but I wonder. I wish I could have an MRI instead. The doctor said he could easily fix the problem but it will take another surgery. And I know that I will have a lot of soreness everytime I get up for about 4 weeks. Of course I will not have such a large gut to pull down when I stand ( gravity sucks) so maybe it will be better I won't need a binder. the last time they had to put two large binders together to get around me. I wanted to die of embarrassment.  I am just tired of this. I have lost my job and have unemployment, but I really want to get back to work. I will have to give up my unemployment for at least a week after surgery. This is not fair!!
I just had to vent. If you read this far thank you.

I am so sorry that this is happening to you. I will keep you in my prayers. Please know that we are here for you whenever you need us. Just keep your chin up and walk through...knowing when you get through you accomplished what you had to.

I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this.  Prayers being uplifted for you and a speedy recovery.  God Bless.

Debbie