OT: Freaking out and MAD at myself!

OK...I'm normally very focused and stay on track.  Not perfect mind you....I'll give in on occasion but quickly regain control of myself.
Well I'm afraid I've done a lot of damage and the scale will not be kind to me this weekend (I weigh myself every Saturday).

On this past Saturday we were out doing a marathon shopping (furniture stores). Matthew decided he wanted to try a McDonald's Double burger (without the cheese)...we have not eaten one in more than 2 years.  I offered a few other ideas but he really had a hankering for it so I finally agreed.  I really did not enjoy it which surprised me.  I was just way to greasy.  We ate NO french fries and I took 1/2 the bun off but still felt guilty.
That was bad enough.....then since we were so late he offered to take me to the new Chinese Buffet that opened up by us.  I was tired and didn't feel like cooking so I said yes.
I had salmon, a little bit of chicken and broccoli, some plain shrimp, about 1/4 cup of veg lo mein, some green beans smothered in garlic (WAY TOO MUCH garlic), and then we up for desert....I had 2 almond cookies and a scoop of ice cream.  I felt stuffed!!!!!!!
It doesn't end here.....
On Sunday, I had a pretty good day but then we had some red wine with dinner and it was a good bottle so I had a second glass and then another 1/2..
On Monday I met Carla and Gail for lunch.....I ate a piece of corn bread and 1/2 a biscuit.  I am SHOCKED at myself and still feeling very guilty.
On Tuesday we were out all day ...we stopped for pizza (not a bad thing), I ate 2 slices (I normally eat 1).  BUT then we ran into a friend who just opened up a pizzeria in St Petersburg....he insisted we try a slice of pizza.....we explained we ate a late lunch and it was pizza and would love a rain check.....Matthew gave in and next thing I know we are eating more pizza.  So I had 2 slices for lunch and 1 slice for dinner.  UGH

So far today is a good day but I am SO AFRAID to see the damage on the scale.  I weighed myself on Monday after my weekend nightmare and I was up 3.5 lbs!! so by now I could be up 5-7 lbs!!!!!!!  OMG!!!! 

I know I have not lost total control but I am shocked and so disappointed I let myself slip this much in a few days!!  For about 5 mins I thought of not eating anything for 2-3 days but then I got a grip on reality and realize that is not the right thing to do.  I guess I should remind myself this is a first in 2 years so maybe I shouldn't beat myself up too much.....I just don't want any weight gain especially not now right before the holidays and my company coming.  UGH!!!!!!!!

Thanks for letting me vent.

Oooohhhh moosie,
Just take a deep breath, it will be okay. Venting is good for the soul.
Really you didn't do too bad. I'm telling you now....just love yourself. We are so hard on ourselves when we "fall off the horse"...you have gotten back up and dusted yourself off, WAY TO GO!!!

So you have started over, today is a new day. If you have to take it hour by hour or minute by minute, then do so. No more beating yourself up moosie...you deserve better.

(((((((((HUGS)))))))))

I just plugged all my food into the Weigh****cher on-line tracker.  Remarkably I am still within the allotted "points" by using 1/2 of the weekly bonus points.

I do feel better having vented and releasing it but i am still SO afraid of what the scale will show.  I 'feel' heavier today.  Oh, well....onward and upward!!!

Thanks for the encouragement!!

Oh yeah...and sometimes the scale lies to you...it doesn't tell the whole story especially if you exercise and I know  you are a mover.

According to the BMI charts I'm overweight. I am a size 6/8 and I'm not overweight. The BMI chart is just a unit of measure just as that scale is.

You are doing great!
You stayed within your points...way to go moosie!!

Ruth, As long as you now ytake control of yourself and maybe weight every day to get after yourself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I totally understand we have been going to so many dinners ri*****arbs. Everyone we know wants to take us out to dinner. I dont want to be mean but enough is enough!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  We can vent together LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Start eating home like I have tried to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   Gail

Hi Gail,
Yep today has all been home cooking and good choices. 

I know I'm not out of control, I'm just afraid to get on the scale in a couple days....   
I'll have to just face the music, pay the Piper and move on.

At least I've been doing my daily cardio...maybe that will help.
Thanks for the note!

TTFN
Ruth

are ya done smackin yourself around??????

yes -you overindulged- -probly you gained- it's the carbs-that monster gets to ALL of us.....

look tho at how well you kept yourself from the total bun and fries at mc d's--you TRIED not to have pizza after pizza--

you KNOW what you have done and you have beaten yourself up and you know what to do to get yourself back on track! i have faith in you!!!!

you WILL be ok!!!!!!!
big hugs!!!!!!

Thanks for the hugs.
So nice to know others understand.  Matthew doesn't always get it....that's 'cause he's a guy and after overindulging he can lose his gain in one day.  MEN!!!$%$%@$@#!%!!!!!!

I'm done slapping myself around.

Now I just have to find my big girl pants and get on the scale in a couple days.  I'll have to take it like a trooper but I'll be focused with a vengeance for the next 4 weeks.

Thanks for the encouragement!!!

You know how Scarlett O'Hara said, "Tomorrow is another day?" Well, it is. You got it off your chest, you got it out of your system, so forget about it.

We all slip. So get back on track.

Yepper....I'm already feeling better after getting it off my chest.
Today has been a very good day. 

I like to create/try new recipes.....I just created a Spicy Pumpkin Soup....not bad.  I'm so into pumpkin lately.  Anyhow, a whole serving was only 50 cals....high fiber and close to no fat!  But I added a bit too much cayenne pepper....still was yummy.