My complications

Here's the deal.  I know that some of you would rather this board only focus on the good, but there are those of us who do have complications and we are over fifty and this was our board before we had sugery, while we had surgery, and still is our board with our complications.  My complications are not my fault; it is not my attitude or my lack of following the rules or any of that.  I developed an ulcer and have suffered the effects of malnutrition and struggle every single day to keep my weight above 100 pounds. 

If you are wondering why I am posting this, well, the truth is, I've sort of had my feelings hurt.  I read the daily post and some of you guys seem to think that those of us who have problems are posting only negative or that we may have had the wrong attitude or didn't follow the rules. and for those guys waiting to have surgery, well they should only focus on the success.  As far as being negative or not following the rules, well  that is not true for me at all.  I had my surgery, had and still have a good attitude, and followed every single rule that the doctor gave to me.  Now here is the deal: why is it considered negative of me to post about my ulcers and my strictures and my malnutrition and not negative for those who are binging on mcdonalds, or chinese food, or drinking too much wine? 

I suppose it is just time for me to quit reading and when I am not so sick, I will come back.  I failed to understand that this board was only a place for those who were complication free. 

Geeze, how sorry am I?

FYI - I do not think my posting was negative..........I am just expressing my own guilt with my decisions this weekend and my fear of the scale.

I would hardly call my having a hamburger for the first time in 2 years, a couple of cookies and an extra glass and a half of wine as BINGING!  I allowed myself too much freedom and now I am afraid to see the impact on the scale but I did not go on a binge.

Maybe I'm over reacting but I really don't like the way you described my post as being negative and binging.  I would really appreciate it if you do not try to rope me into any issues you have with others on the board !!!!!!!!!  I'm sorry you had your feelings hurt but leave me out of it.

Thanks!

EDITED:  PS - I happen to believe that both the good and bad of any procedure should be shared so people can make an educated decision.  I spend a good deal of time on the plastic surgery board and we all share the good, the bad, and the ugly of procedure.  It's foolish to think to that every surgery goes smoothly all the time.  Knowing the risks allows others to make good decisions.

I didn't say it was your post.  I hate to bust your bubble but there are others here who post about not eating the right foods or drinking too much wine.  And, I wasn't saying those post were negative; I was saying that my posting about my complications are  no more negative than those posting about the eating mcdonalds....

Oh please........Mine was the only post to mention going to McDonald's, eating Chinese and drinking wine over the weekend!  I'm not trying to have a fight with you but your message said "for those who are binging on mcdonalds, or chinese food, or drinking too much wine? "  so it sure seems like you are pointing towards my posting.  Whatever......... I'm done, I'm not discussing it any further. 

Hope you have a good day.

No, you should post about your problems. This is your board, too. There are plenty of people like you who have had issues like yours (I met some of them in support groups, so you're not alone.) I understand your frustration with trying to keep your weight up. I also hate when doctors blame us for problems when they don't want to look into it anymore. That's one of the issues I had with my knee. Obviously you have some problems and it took a whole lot of convincing your doctors that it wasn't your fault; something was seriously wrong. Sometimes they just don't listen.

I didn't read the other post so I don't know what that's about. But I am sorry you are dealing with this problem. I hope it turns out OK for you.

Post all you want Jeannie. I think most people with any common sense know this surgery is not a walk in the park. They've perfected the surgery to the point where people think of it as akin to having their tonsils removed. There can be serious complications and you're proof of that. If doctor's aren't telling their patients about the risks of this surgery then we definitely have a problem.  It's just that nobody ever thinks it will happen to them. I think people need to hear the reality from people who experience it.

We may not agree with everything you say or the way you say it, but we have a common bond with this surgery and that makes us all a little more patient and understanding with each other, and that's a good thing. I can't imagine anybody getting any pleasure out of seeing you so sick. Not everybody comes out of this feeling on top of the world. It's called a reality check.

Jeannie,

I believe and know that people have serious complications from WLS even when they follow all of the rules.
I want to hear about what is going on with you good or bad, whatever you feel comfortable posting about.
This place is not just for sunshine and rainbows, it's for support, for information and that means info about things that don't always  turn out the way we hope they will. Your experiences and views on things are worth knowing about and I am sorry your feelings have been hurt.

Take Care,
Cheryl

Sometimes I lead a support group, not one related to weight issues.  At some point, I often post the following on the board and ask for discussion: 

What you think of me is none of my business. 

I generally hear an intake of breath and a gulp or two and then the room is very quiet.  Slowly we get a discussion going on issues of perception, living for ourselves vs. living for others and striking a balance.  For some reason, this came to mind as I read your post.

I think that we don't want to acknowledge potential complications because:
a) it could happen to us,
b) maybe wls is a bigger risk with our health than we want to admit
c) we feel guilty because we have broken some rules after surgery and haven't had ill effects
d) if it happens to us, all those "I told you so-sayers" will be proved right
and
e) it could happen to us.

Meanwhile, please read Carter Beats the Devil by Glen David Gold and know that if we judge you we are judging ourselves and are found wanting.  It is named for a magician's stunt, not a theo-physical race.

I am interested in the complications as well as the total successes. I am concerned for you, I want to hear how you are doing, what the medical folks want to do to you and how I can help.  Keep posting, please.

Good or bad, I want to have you posting. I value your take on things. I think that you are smart and honest- someone who is of value on a board like this. I know that you are feeling like **** and sometimes the posts **** you off.  You can say that... we all know that you tell it like it is for you. Even if I don't agree, your thoughts are always interesting and frequently they are funny. Don't be involved if this is hurting you, but don't assume that no one wants you here. I love to see you here. I do want to hear how things are with you.... I feel somewhat guilty for not having any complications, but I certainly don't mind hearing about your problems. They are real and you are fighting to keep your life as normal as is possible. I support you 100%.
Julia

Agreed
Holly