Here is a brief update.......
I am continuing to be a Weeble......I wobbled a lot yesterday but I am much better today. I may wobble at times but when you have a round bottom you don't have much choice on that one! 
Bill and I talked last night and he told me that if he didn't have me he wouldn't have a reason to live. I told him that I never feel that from him. He is going to work on that.
Now to the baby........part of me is torn on letting him in my life. I love him....there is no way that I can't. I cared for him while we waiting for him to be born. I became very attached to him. He is my grandson.....I know that in my heart. The other part of me is saying no to having him in my life. I am afraid......afraid that they will yank him out of my life and then what do I do? I don't like to be hurt but then none of us do. A wise woman said to me that he is going to ask sometime "I see Grandpa Bill but why don't I see Grandma Brenda?" He isn't going to understand. That leaves me open to him hearing things that might not be true. At least if I let him in my life (he already is my heart
) he would know me and know in his mind and heart that Grandma Brenda is a good person and loves me unconditionally. 
I will keep you posted on how things go......I hope that they come to an end sometime really soon.
And..........Mouthwatering Monday will continue next Monday.
Thanks so much to everyone who was there for me during yet another difficult time in life. I know that we all have those times and that is time that we must and do bind together since we are really OFF siblings!
Bill and I talked last night and he told me that if he didn't have me he wouldn't have a reason to live. I told him that I never feel that from him. He is going to work on that.
Now to the baby........part of me is torn on letting him in my life. I love him....there is no way that I can't. I cared for him while we waiting for him to be born. I became very attached to him. He is my grandson.....I know that in my heart. The other part of me is saying no to having him in my life. I am afraid......afraid that they will yank him out of my life and then what do I do? I don't like to be hurt but then none of us do. A wise woman said to me that he is going to ask sometime "I see Grandpa Bill but why don't I see Grandma Brenda?" He isn't going to understand. That leaves me open to him hearing things that might not be true. At least if I let him in my life (he already is my heart
) he would know me and know in his mind and heart that Grandma Brenda is a good person and loves me unconditionally. I will keep you posted on how things go......I hope that they come to an end sometime really soon.
And..........Mouthwatering Monday will continue next Monday.
Thanks so much to everyone who was there for me during yet another difficult time in life. I know that we all have those times and that is time that we must and do bind together since we are really OFF siblings!
It's not what you gather, but what you scatter
that tells what kind of life you have lived.
Brenda, When I signed on to follow Jesus, my pastor encouraged me to be the thermostat not the thermometer. Now some 28 years later that counsel comes back to me and I encourage you with it. You have already shown me that you have an enourmous capacity to love. And love covers a whole bunch of wrongs! You can do this! I will be your biggest (well maybe not biggest-but I will be your) cheerleader! I'm so glad you and DH had the talk. That's where I was yesterday with mine--refusing to buy into his "junk" and explaining my needs where he is concerned. It was a hard talk but we are in a better place today! The best way thru the junk is thru it! No camping out in it--ever again!
Big Big Hug, from your newest friend and sista!
Marie aka Nannyre
Big Big Hug, from your newest friend and sista!
Marie aka Nannyre
I think your wise woman friend is very smart. That little man is already in your heart and in your life, albeit right now only on the fringe. Why deny yourself the pleasure of him? It will hurt worse to leave him out than it will to take a chance you will lose him later. Opening your life to him will only benefit you both. 
Dee ..... ><((((º>`·.¸¸.·´¯`·.¸¸><((((º>`·.¸¸.·´¯`·.¸¸><((((º>
My new G.O.A.L. ~~~~ Get Out And Live!
Includes 61lbs lost before surgery
My new G.O.A.L. ~~~~ Get Out And Live!
Includes 61lbs lost before surgery
Oh, dear Brenda....
Wobble, but don't fall down. What an incredibly difficult position you are in! Pleeeese keep both eyes open. Don't be taken in by controlling passive-aggressive talk--I hear him saying he comes first with his "not having a reason to live without you" so please don't leave him. What about you?? Of course I wasn't a fly on the wall, and only you know how genuine he was, so please keep YOUR feelings at the top of your decision process.
Anyone who has read your posts can tell how deeply you love little Kayden. He deserves to know his grandma Brenda. You have a right to be a part of his life, so stand up for your rights, don't back down! Focus on your relationship with Kayden, do things with him but don't let the others use you like they have. As kids grow they know very well how a gramma loves them. Kayden will know that with you.
Perhaps you can start a journal. Hit a bookstore and buy a nicely bound book of blank pages and start writing. Let him know how you felt when you found out he was going to be born, how you felt when you found out he was a boy, how you felt when you saw him on the ultra-sound. Speak from the heart. Concentrate the positive--just your relationship with Kayden. Tell him how happy you were to be making a blanket for him. Write down little stories of cute things he says, or how he's made you laugh or what those first toddling steps were like. Tell him how worried you were when he first got behind the wheel of a car or how thrilled he was to be visited by the tooth fairy and tell him how much the tooth fairy left for you at that age. Stay away from the negative relationships or incidents, just the joy from your heart to Kayden. You and Kayden, no one else, no other characters in the journal.
Brenda, you can express yourself very well in word and this type of gift from you to him would be an incredible treasure. Give it to him when he is older when other people do not have access to his possessions to toss it. No matter what the twists and turns are in the future, he'll know he was always in your heart.
These are just my thoughts. I simply wanted to give you something else to think about.
My prayers are with you. Elaine
Wobble, but don't fall down. What an incredibly difficult position you are in! Pleeeese keep both eyes open. Don't be taken in by controlling passive-aggressive talk--I hear him saying he comes first with his "not having a reason to live without you" so please don't leave him. What about you?? Of course I wasn't a fly on the wall, and only you know how genuine he was, so please keep YOUR feelings at the top of your decision process.
Anyone who has read your posts can tell how deeply you love little Kayden. He deserves to know his grandma Brenda. You have a right to be a part of his life, so stand up for your rights, don't back down! Focus on your relationship with Kayden, do things with him but don't let the others use you like they have. As kids grow they know very well how a gramma loves them. Kayden will know that with you.
Perhaps you can start a journal. Hit a bookstore and buy a nicely bound book of blank pages and start writing. Let him know how you felt when you found out he was going to be born, how you felt when you found out he was a boy, how you felt when you saw him on the ultra-sound. Speak from the heart. Concentrate the positive--just your relationship with Kayden. Tell him how happy you were to be making a blanket for him. Write down little stories of cute things he says, or how he's made you laugh or what those first toddling steps were like. Tell him how worried you were when he first got behind the wheel of a car or how thrilled he was to be visited by the tooth fairy and tell him how much the tooth fairy left for you at that age. Stay away from the negative relationships or incidents, just the joy from your heart to Kayden. You and Kayden, no one else, no other characters in the journal.
Brenda, you can express yourself very well in word and this type of gift from you to him would be an incredible treasure. Give it to him when he is older when other people do not have access to his possessions to toss it. No matter what the twists and turns are in the future, he'll know he was always in your heart.
These are just my thoughts. I simply wanted to give you something else to think about.
My prayers are with you. Elaine
All you need is the plan, the road map, and the courage to press
on to your destination.
on to your destination.
Brenda.....I love you!! I don't know any of the details or history of you and your husband's son and daughter in law but it sounds like there are deep issues that have been going on a long time. Your heart must be so heavy with all this turmoil. You are a good person, kind, considerate and loving and from what you post here, you are always helping someone out with whatever it may be. Driving your family members to appts. and bending over backwards for any one in need, whether it be your church family, personal family or your husband/s family. They should aappreciate you and be damned ashamed of their selfish attitudes.
Remember you are a dear person and don't need to be walked all over and hurt like you have been.
Hugs, hugs and more hugs,
Sandy
Remember you are a dear person and don't need to be walked all over and hurt like you have been.
Hugs, hugs and more hugs,
Sandy
Brenda,
I've been around for a while now, but not long enough to know what all is happening/going on. All you can do is demand the respect you deserve and don't allow people to walk on you. Be your kind, loving self. We all want to be treated fairly and kindly, and hopefully you will get that back in return. If not, it's time for you to make positive adjustments in your life to obtain happiness and enjoy all life has to offer. Good luck to you. Blessings, Debbie
I've been around for a while now, but not long enough to know what all is happening/going on. All you can do is demand the respect you deserve and don't allow people to walk on you. Be your kind, loving self. We all want to be treated fairly and kindly, and hopefully you will get that back in return. If not, it's time for you to make positive adjustments in your life to obtain happiness and enjoy all life has to offer. Good luck to you. Blessings, Debbie
hi brenda
sorry about all the stuff you have been going through with your family. our
families, both real and adopted and thru marriage and step marriage, can be
a real challenge.
i think the most important thing is that you keep your mind open to see what you
want to take out of this situation. and yes, its ok to set limits, you are a smart
lady and im sure you will work out those limits in time.
just remember you can love kayden in your own way with no explanations due
to bill or anyone else in the family. dont let them guilt you!!!!
be safe and well, jacki
sorry about all the stuff you have been going through with your family. our
families, both real and adopted and thru marriage and step marriage, can be
a real challenge.
i think the most important thing is that you keep your mind open to see what you
want to take out of this situation. and yes, its ok to set limits, you are a smart
lady and im sure you will work out those limits in time.
just remember you can love kayden in your own way with no explanations due
to bill or anyone else in the family. dont let them guilt you!!!!
be safe and well, jacki
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