Am I never going to learn????

I got told again in so many words the same thing that I got told when they found out the baby was coming. I am nothing but "Shawn's father's wife" and that is it. I feel so stupid and used I can hardly stand myself. Why do I allow myself to fall into this again and to get hurt yet again? Am I that stupid and gullible that I can't learn from the first time?

I feel that now that I have done what they wanted me to do....namely take Carol all over for her tests, doctor visits and everything else I am nothing. But I am sure that if I stayed in the whole thing I would become someone again when she goes back to work and they think I would babysit. Well.....it is NOT going to happen.

The scene at the hospital this evening between Bill and I was terrible. I really think that this marriage is done and that at least takes a lot of pressure off me. At least I know it for sure now. You always feel better when you aren't hanging in mid air anymore. At least I do. He ended up walking home from the Hobart hospital and I can care less. I told him that I want nothing what so ever to do with him, his son, his daughter in law or his grandson. They will NOT be allowed in my home at all....whether I am home or not.

Shawn called his father and told him that they were getting ready to do a C Section and he would call him when the baby came. He has not called him that I am aware of. I informed Bill that I want to know nothing of any of it.
 
I am done.....I wash my hands of the whole mess. I just wish that I had brains that God gave me and used them to keep things in mind. There will not be a next time that is for darn sure.

Thanks for all the prayers and love that you have sent my way. I really appreciate all of you. I think I might be lurking for a while but know that you are all in my heart and thought of with love and special thoughts.

Brenda - I am so sorry to hear this happening to you... I beat myself up regularly over things that my daughter says and swear that it is over with and I will not fall back into the trap.  But I do!

This sounds really serious when it involves your husband, too.  I will keep you in my special thoughts and prayers while you are going thru this time.  Did you let Bill in the house?? 

I know how you were looking forward to the new baby.  My heart aches for you tonite....

Shelia

 Brenda,

I'm so sad to read your post.  No, you are not gullible.  You are a very caring and loving person and try to make everyone happy.  You were willing to swallow the hurt the first time and forgive what was said to you.  This second time around is too much.  Evidently Bill is jealous of you wanting to share the joy of the baby and is being hurtful to you about it.  Very childish.... Are the kids feeling the same way?  Were they part of this too?  How sad for you.  To push you away at such a wonderful event shows how little Bill regards you.   I can understand why you want to walk away from all of it.   

YOU take care of YOU.....  do whatever you need to do.... and NO lurking....  keep us informed.

Millie

I am so sorry that this has reared it's ugly head again! I thought you and Bill had worked this out! I am sorry to say that most( all ) men are ********! He must be jealous to say something like that to a lovely woman. If you want to save your marraige the both of you should get some counseling.
 I agree with you when it comes time to need a babysitter they will call you. Stick to your guns and don't babysit. If they said or agree with the fact that you are nothing but Shawns' fathers wife then just do like I did with my MIL write them a letter telling them what you think of them. Then tell them that you are DONE! It will make you feel much better. She told my husband that what I said was all false. So she in turned called me a liar so I have washed my hands of his family. I know it will be hard to do but if you keep them at arms length your emotional health will be so much better in the long run. So just put it in the Lords hands and it will all come out the way it is supposed to be. It is unfortunate but this way they can't steal your joy. Please keep us informed and best of luck! I will be saying a prayer for you! Take care Michelle

Oh Brenda, this is so sad.  But I am glad to see you sticking up for yourself.  I'm glad to see you putting yourself as number one priority.  This may pass, or not, but you will proceed with clear vision from now on.  You are too wonderful of a woman for something so ugly to happen to. 

Whatever your path takes, please don't lurk, but post how you are and what's happening.  I will support and pray for you whatever direction you travel, that's what friends are for.  

Elaine   

Here I am hoping to have good news of the baby and read this heart breaking post......I don't know what to say, Brenda, except my heart just aches for you.    I am a "step" mother/grandmother too and I know how to feels to be "left out".....my grandkids have started to keep in touch with me again recently and I'm glad, but cautious.

I will say an extra prayer for you that this can be resolved and you will find some peace and happiness after all..  You are a dear friend and I love you very much.....just know that you're not alone.

God Bless you, Brenda,

Hugs,
Pat R.

Brenda, what a shame someone as dear and special as you has to endure such a thing. My mom went through a similar thing with my step brother and his wife. They had three very spoiled children who, when mom and Ray would come over would run to the car to see them when they got to the house. Of course, they were thrilled to see the children, only to be greeted with "what did you bring us"? from the kids. this happened every time they went to visit, and one day Erin, the oldest (she was maybe 9 at the time) announced to my mom that she wasn't her "REAL" grandma. I just broke her heart. Eventually, after years of that, there was a huge blow up and they all went their separate ways, tearing the family apart forever. My step brother and his wife and kids didn't even come to my step dad's funeral. In fact, not one of his three children came. Very, very sad.

This situation caused  years of heartbreak for mom, Ray, being the kind of person he was didn't really care (heartless old ******* that he was), but I wish mom would have gotten away from there for many reasons, the children/grandchildren thing was just the icing on the cake. Please do what's best for you. You've taken you life back by having your WLS, do what you need to do to be able to enjoy the happiness you deserve.

We love you

Oh BrendaI was wondering what was happening when you didnt call me back yesterday.
My heart breaks for you. Bill should be on your side!!!!!
Ill call you in a little while.
Carla

brenda..sweetheart..i'm sorry i'm chiming in late-just getting to the boards this morning...

i cannnot offer anything that wasn't said-i could tell you my step parent story but  it's not worth typing out --i have a step mom and i am a step mom.... i do have similar thoughts in regards to how my half sisters and brothers treat me and what will be expected when our mom ages and passes etc...

anyhow- know that i am here and sending special hugs to you....

Dear Brenda,
This was a terrible thing done to you and you do not deserve it. You are a wonderful and caring person we know it and god knows it. Stand up for yourself, you are the one that is important.
I will be thinking of you love and hugs to you          Gail