New scary development for me.....
Oh my special and loving big sister, Karen! I read your post this morning and my heart broke. I was at a loss as to what to say to you. I was afraid to post for fear that I would say something wrong and then blame myself. I am so good at blaming me for just about everything. I am sure that others can relate to that also.
I am happy to hear that now you poured all the liquid crap down the drain. Let the sewer deal with it....you don't have to. We all have addictive personalities.....why else would we all be here having to do the things that we have to do? Unfortunately addictive behavior rears it's ugly head when we least expect it. That is why it is so important to NEVER let our guards down where that is concerned. I can be addictive with just about anything...good and bad both. The only thing that I can offer to you is the advice that I learned from OA......take it a day, an hour, a minute or a second at a time. What we can't begin to think we can do for a lifetime we can do for a day or a minute at a time. Know that your Higher Power (who I chose to call God) will take care of you. I take the old saying of "God never gives you more than you can handle" and change it to "God never gives me more than WE can handle together" and that seems to help me.
Know that we are here for you cheering you on every minute of the day. We may not be there with you but know when you are feeling a slight breeze on your cheek it is us letting you know that your OFF sibs are there with you to help you. Think of us all in little cheerleader outfits (wow..my first one!) with pom poms and cheering you on! Yes, you can giggle and if people think you are nuts you are in good company with all the rest of us!
I am sending you plenty of love and huge hugs to go with it. Prayers for strength and peace go for you and know that you are so loved here you will never know.
It's not what you gather, but what you scatter
that tells what kind of life you have lived.
I come from a family of alcoholics and being so aware of how easily I could become one I have always limited myself to one drink per social event (which are no more that once every 1-2 weeks). However, I did not realize that I could become addicted to food and other things like cigarettes. I quit smoking twice! Now I know that all it would take is one drag on a cigarette and I would be right back where I started with them. So no drag for me! I am now working on the food addiction and that one is really tough because I can not just not eat! So I actually understand how easily something like this can slip up on you without your being aware of it until you "wakeup" and say wait a minute what am I doing!!!! You are doing great and I think are on the right track. I will keep you in my prayers and I know you will be fine. The first step is to ask for help and you did. Know that we are all here for you.
Hugs,
Hubby and I quit smoking the same day about 20 years ago now. I know what will happen if I take that one drag (which I have so far refused to do). Hubby took a drag of a Swishers Sweet (small cigar) and got hooked again. He has tried quitting 4 or 5 times now and is really having a hard time. I told him to go back and have accupuncture again, but he wants to do it on his own.
Hugs and prayers your way....
Jan
